Wife has OCD

A few minutes ago we were sitting on our front porch smoking. I noticed that the ash tray was a bit full, so I took the ashes out to our city provided trash can. OH NO, DON'T DO THAT, you must put that in the small trash can in the car port!!!!! Huh, I says. She requires that this mess should go into the can with a plastic bag so the big trash can stays clean! Arrgghh. She is truly a keeper, but this is such a silly thing to argue about,(to me) but she thinks otherwise. Anybody else have this problem?

yes and resistance is futile.

My wife is a slob…want to trade?

Keeping the big can clean isn't necessarily a bad thing. We have two, one for the house and one for my shop. Needless to say if the house can ends up at my shop, I'm not happy. I keep the shop can fairly clean so it won't stink.

Other than that, I'm with RX Reven'. Mine can be less than fastidious. Being the OCD one, it drives me nuts sometimes. Like I just got home, and the closet light is on and there is makeup powder in my bathroom sink.

Im with rx revin. Mines a keeper too, but im thinking OCD is far better than the opposite. ..

The ash and butts can go flying through the air when the big can is dumped too.

I learned the hard way to empty our paper shredder in to a plastic bag and then put it in the big recycling bin. The first (and only) time I dumped it straight in to the big can it looked like it snowed paper up and down my street. The wind sent all the little paper shreds air born mid dump.

I got yelled at yesterday after making pancakes for breakfast and chili for dinner and cleaning up the kitchen because I left the garbage can open (one of those swivel type tops and it doesn't usually close on its own) and because I left food particles in the drain block thing.

Admittedly I did not respond in a way I'm proud of, but I still stand by my point which is basically: If you are not ok with the way I've done all of it, you can do it yourself. And if you want to teach me, treat me like an adult and be kind.

My wife babysits for a brilliant three year old girl that is as OCD a person as I have seen. All of her toys or tasks are aligned in straight rows or by color. The child uses words that amaze us.

Got to love those little idiosyncrasies. Mine has a hatered of odd numbers. Can't get out of bed on an odd minute, the volume on the TV, stereo etc must be set to an even number. Hates me for pointing out all of life's little oddities... Like that her car has 5 spoke rims, our anniversary is an odd day or that surely she can't get out of bed during an odd hour.

I wouldn't trade her for anything though... After all, anyone who has been able to put up with me like she has is a definite keeper.

mtn wrote: ...I did not respond in a way I'm proud of, but I still stand by my point which is basically: If you are not ok with the way I've done all of it, you can do it yourself. And if you want to teach me, treat me like an adult and be kind.

Wife and I do this all the time. If either of us were to be allowed to spend 100% of our time completely in our spectrum of things it'd be awful (uber OCD her way, a disaster my way). Between the two of us there's a good balance. When the scale starts to tip too far in one direction, we have the "then you stinking do it" conversation and balance gets restored.

My wife got a nice kick from your responses. Thanks, guys.

Toyman01 wrote: Keeping the big can clean isn't necessarily a bad thing. We have two, one for the house and one for my shop. Needless to say if the house can ends up at my shop, I'm not happy. I keep the shop can fairly clean so it won't stink. Other than that, I'm with RX Reven'. Mine can be less than fastidious. Being the OCD one, it drives me nuts sometimes. Like I just got home, and the closet light is on and there is makeup powder in my bathroom sink.

Talk about closets…I have exactly one hanger for every shirt that I own (no more – no less) as this prevents me from having too many or too few shirts than my closet can easily accommodate.

The last time I did laundry, I came up three hangers short (BTW, I go from left to right with Polo’s, button down short sleeve, button down long sleeve informal, button down long sleeve formal with the Doppler shift represented in each group running from red shift to blue shift.) I know, I’m really OCD but I like it that way so Berlkey off world.

Anyway, all of my hangers are the exact same color and style and hers are a cluster Berkley of different styles and various pastel colors. Sure enough, there are my three white hangers placed into service on her side of the closet.

I don’t know if she’s so oblivious to my level organization that she didn’t realize that she would get caught or if she just doesn’t give a E36 M3.

BTW, I bought my wife a brand new Explorer last month and it came with twelve cup holders.

I’ve been running a mental count down of the cup holders that remain in service rather than being randomly dedicated to such tasks as hair doo-dad holders, gum wrapper receptacles, etc. and we’re already down to just eight.

I know I’m really entrenched in the OCD camp so that does account for much of the stark contrast between my wife and myself.

However, I don’t think I’m asking too much to have designated areas that she leaves the Berkley alone but she can’t resist the temptation to loot and pillage from me and dump her E36 M3 in my areas because I’m so wildly better organized than her.

In reply to RX Reven':

You have me beat in the OCD department. My groupings are, formal, casual, work; shirts first, then pants. Colors can be mixed. Hangers are usually black, but we have hundreds of them so running out isn't usually a problem. She's willing to do laundry with no smelly crap, I'm willing to use whatever hanger my clothes get hung on, especially since I don't do the laundry. When things get hung out of order, I just keep my mouth shut and fix it.

As far as her using your stuff, she probably doesn't even think about it. Not in the malicious way, her brain just doesn't work the way yours does. If I had to guess, she didn't even notice the color of the hangers when she used them. Hanger=hanger, color is irrelevant to her.

We will have been married 30 years this April. The little things don't bother me like they used to. She got home about 10 minutes ago and I didn't even mention the light or the makeup. In the grand scheme of things it's pretty minor and I was over it right after I turned off the light and wiped out my sink. She puts up with my crazyness, I put up with hers.

My boss is an impatient slob who never shut a door or turned off a light in his life. His wife is a high-strung germophobe who can't let anything, no matter how trivial, go.

Why they haven't killed each other yet is beyond me. Frankly, if I had to stay more than a day or two with them, I'd kill them both.

cwh wrote: My wife got a nice kick from your responses. Thanks, guys.

I was surprised she let it get very full at all.

How can someone only be OCD about other people's stuff? My stuff always has to be put away, but her E36 M3 is scattered all over the house including the hallways and stairs. She goes to Costco and brings home twice the food what the frig will hold and gets mad about it.

spitfirebill wrote: How can someone only be OCD about other people's stuff? My stuff always has to be put away, but her E36 M3 is scattered all over the house including the hallways and stairs. She goes to Costco and brings home twice the food what the frig will hold and gets mad about it.

Yup. We're moving into our apartment, still. Partially my fault, but I have about 1/8th of the mess, probably 1/8 is shared, and the other 3/4 belongs solely to her. And yes, I'm being more than fair with that assessment.

Oh, and the shopping thing--Preach it, brother.

Since we're doing this. My wife has been complaining that I don't help around the house and then gets mad when I remind her that she banned me from doing what she's now complaining about. She doesn't remember banning me from laundry. As for the dishes, I've been refusing to help with that because she leaves the food wrapping, baggies, whatever the food was in in the sink. Makes a mess and kinda gross to deal with, especially when the trash can is next to the sink. Put the food wrapping in the trash where it belongs and then I'll start helping with the dishes. Then there is the food. She's Korean and has stores of Korean food and ingredients around. It's all supposedly long shelf life stuff. Never did when we were young, poor and moved a lot (military). Now kids are grown and gone, just the 2 of us. Yet the 28 CuFt side by side fridge in the kitchen, 20 CuFt fridge and 20 CuFt freezer in the garage are crammed full. I have less than a shelf combined for my food. Some of it hasn't been touched in a long time. She won't get rid of it because it's supposedly expensive. Seems a waste to just let it sit, especially since she forgets she has it and buys fresh ingredients when she is making something. Every time I threaten to clean it out she gets mad. I've told her I've thrown away anything that falls out when I open one of the doors and she's yet to figure out what I've thrown away. I know and understand that she grew up without in Korea, been on her own since 18 yo and now that we can afford it she feels she has to have it. She'll never do without again and sometimes doesn't seem to want to understand that. I try to tell her that there has to be a compromise but she won't listen to that. Love her though because no one else would put up with me.

Welcome to Marriage.

In reply to wlkelley3:

My wife is Korean, from similar background, and I feel your pain re: the general complicated-ness of Korean cuisine, and for some reason literally everything else in your post (except out kid isn't grown and out yet). That being said my wife just let me buy a 323 gtx that we had NO room for, with money we didn't have, and cooked amazing korean food for dinner tonight. On balance, i'm WAYYYY ahead! Oh yeah, and she puts up with me which surprises even me, and since the 'is your wife hot' thread has been revived, she's super hot. Like, WAY out of my league. To quote Parks and Recreation: "We're not even playing the same sport. It's like she's in the WNBA, and i work at a muffler store next to the statium." And she likes archery, and videogames!

I need to keep all of these things in the front of my mind over thanksgiving when her siblings will be visiting... Well, one in particular. I never had a problem with any of the other in laws. Come to think of it, 'Only 1 in-law i can't stand' is another perk! Most of my side of the family (myself included) should be on strong psych medication. Should be, but aren't.

my wife is ocd, she got tired of yelling at me so she puts my clothes away and refuses to enter "my room" were the pc and my rc stuff is. Its weird i dont care about messes unless its my tool box. it has too be in order!

In reply to Rufledt: Have no in-laws with her. Even if I did they would be in another country. In-laws was one of the downfalls of my first marriage. She treats my family better than I do. We are older, I'm late 50's and she's a few years older than I. I think she still looks hot, especially for her age. Younger, yeah should have been out of my league. I remember when she came home once and asked what a fox was, the MP at the gate called her that and she didn't know what it meant.

She made spicy pork with lettuce wrapping and spicy paste for dinner last night. One of my favorites. And she tolerates the garage full of cars, one a non-driver project I haven't started.

I once came home to a note on the counter from my roommate excoriating me for not completely rinsing leftover salsa through the disposal. This same girl had sour towels piled up two feet deep (I am NOT exaggerating) in her closet.

I also like to be able to see just where the hell I'm going in the mornings, down in Chuck it's not unusual to come outside to condensation on the windows so heavy you can't see and a defogger is useless. I got in the habit of spraying the windows off, the ball and chain came outside one morning and gave me HELL for 'wasting water'.

Ah... the memories of dealing with my ex-... While she wasn't quite OCD, she is still far less of a clutter-bug than I am. When I walk into my house, I often wish there was someone else there to help keep me in check.

Tomorrow is trash day... maybe when I get home tonight I'll try to purge a bit.

Mine puts the raw meat trash (cutaways from chicken, etc.) in plastic zip loc bags and freezes them. Then she takes them out and puts them in the outside bin on trash pickup day (if she remembers). Keeps the trash from stinking, but makes it interesting trying to sort out what is in the freezer.

The coffee grounds go into a sealed plastic container until trash day, as well. Again, assuming she remembers.

I'm not complaining, though, because the bins are stored in my garage workshop and I would rather it not stink, as well. However, it is quite evident that she has a MUCH more sensitive nose than I do.