Learn me: Persuading SWMBO

It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't.

I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

I cant tell you how to make it work in your house. Every relationship has it's own dynamic. When SWMBO and I started dating I made my affliction with cars clear and when we headed toward marriage we agreed to keep our own finances. I dont care a bit what she spends her money on and she doesn't control what I spend my money on. From the start she only gave me one restriction (Im sure she wishes she added more) no hearses, and I've abided by that. We will usually discuss a new car coming and sometimes she is the level headed voice of reason that I so desperately need. But love it or hate it at the end of the day the choice to bring a car home is mine. I have to weigh my choices with the temporary disruption of household harmony if its something she really doesnt like but at the end of it all we're both adults free to do as we choose and as long as I'm keeping a roof over her head and food on her table she's a happy camper.

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

HAHAHAHA! I bought my wife (then fiance) a miata. She couldn't drive a stick. She learned real fast!

Spinout007 wrote:

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

HAHAHAHA! I bought my wife (then fiance) a miata. She couldn't drive a stick. She learned real fast!

that's some tough love there

My wife couldn't drive a stick when I met her. She once through our BMW into "reverse" while autocrossing. Ouch.

She drives them all the time now and the transmissions are OK.

OP - I usually explain how cool it will be when she can drive XYZ car to her friends house for book club (wine club) and they will all think she's the E36 M3.

fasted58 wrote:

Spinout007 wrote:

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

HAHAHAHA! I bought my wife (then fiance) a miata. She couldn't drive a stick. She learned real fast!

that's some tough love there

Whadyamean tough love, I told her it was hers as soon as she learned to drive it. It's geared so steep in first gear you can start out in first without touching the gas, I've used em to teach several people how to drive a manual trans just for that reason. Show em it can be done without touching the gas, and all the sudden its easy to add a touch of throttle to it. Just sayin...

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

This is one reason my projects take as long as they do. My wife is a hairstylist who works her a$$ off........especially now that she is trying to move clientele's and cities 1 hour from each other.

So for the most part I only worked on the Miata on Saturday's when she was working all day, and the occasional work day when she was late. If she took a saturday off, I took a saturday off from the car.

Adding in a g/f who likes to buy her OWN project cars adds a whole different dynamic to the issue. There have been times when I've needed to tell HER no. Not easy when its a car I think is cool as well. After the issues with her Volvo 850 and my BMW, my new rule is "no more late model used cars unless you plan on paying somebody to fix them."

Fortunately for me, we live in separate houses, so the "don't ask, don't tell" policy can work for me. For example, I'm considering yet another 1800 a local club member is selling. But it'll go to my house so it may be years before she sees it and knows about it. Ditto the dual sport I'm planning to buy.

I stopped buying cars years ago. All I buy now is "parts". Wife does not seem to realize or care that enough parts in close formation is actually a car.

But that stuff aside, you have a GT 40 project and you prefer to waste time with a carboard enclosed chainsaw? You argue your wifes point of view rather well I am afraid!

If that is the going price, why rock the boat. Get one later.

I've been happy with my SWMBO negotiations by staying on the high road. For years I had a no questions asked, blanket OK form my wife for buying a well priced Norton and/or second Triumph TR, if the price was great. That's how I picked up my Triumph TR8. I got the go-ahead up front, then looked. Currently, I have a near OK for an old Pickup truck that'll be a performance restro-mod. She's kind-of on board, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready. Once I am, I'll get her locked in too. Then I have free reign to move forward when I see "that vehicle".

fornetti14 wrote: OP - I usually explain how cool it will be when she can drive XYZ car to her friends house for book club (wine club) and they will all think she's the E36 M3.

OP, I would take this route with the Trabant.

The key here is being a good salesman. I know what it takes to push the right buttons to get my wife to consider "insert random Honda here". Recently had numerous opportunity to buy cheap bike engines for my n600 build.... With her complete approval I opted to buy one for 3x those prices for a good super low mileage 09 R1 engine. Almost talked her into the thought of flipping cars tonight too. Lololol

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

sounds like it's time to find another GF ... it's your money for goodness sakes ... as long as there's room and it doesn't impact her life ( she could learn to drive a manual ) what's her problem ?

In reply to wbjones:

Oh no, I don't need a new girlfriend. I pretty much told her to pound sand. I have offered several times to teach her to drive a stick and she refuses. Furthermore, I make about 3x as much money as her and bought the house that we both live in (it's not in her name). So I will do whatever I want to cars at my house until we get married, in that case I think my balls will be placed in a jar that belongs to her. At that time I will trade in my cars for a toyota minivan and I will like it goddammit, because seriously, new minivans haul ass. Don't the siennas have 350hp? Things could be worse my friend.

Hungary Bill wrote: So.... There's a "one owner" Trabant 601 for sale in town for $300 (that's about the average going rate here). But SWMBO says "no". This might have something to do with the fact that our 1/2 car garage is filled with my GT40 project and our two daily drivers are parked in our yard/poor excuse for a driveway... "You can't get a Trabant until we have a place to put it..." was pretty much her response. (I hate logic, and reason) If moving to a house with a real garage is not an option, how to I change her mind? Begin

Tell her you are invited to dinner when you come to SA next, if you get the Trabbi.

It's funny actually. When I showed her your post, she started smiling, then nodded yes, then she used her voice to say "No"...

Tease...

Hungary Bill wrote: It's funny actually. When I showed her your post, she started smiling, then nodded yes, then she used her voice to say "No"... Tease...

Damn, don't tell her, but you are invited even if you are Trabantless.

word

It's not a car, it's raw materials for artwork.

fasted58 wrote:

Spinout007 wrote:

frenchy wrote: It all depends... Do you spend enough time with her? If she thinks you spend too much time in the shop now she will resent you getting another car. Can she drive it? She'll resent you getting another car if she can't. I recently got into it with my girlfriend because I am looking for a beater truck for hauling around yard waste and runs to the dump etc. She wants me to find one with an auto trans so she can drive it. My response was that driving a manual is not some difficult skill that she couldn't learn, I'll get what I want. Plus I would be spending my money and not hers. Well that went over like a fart in church. I'd maybe be a little nicer than I was.

HAHAHAHA! I bought my wife (then fiance) a miata. She couldn't drive a stick. She learned real fast!

that's some tough love there

I bought my fiancee the Escort, she couldn't drive stick. She resisted learning until her Taurus E36 M3 the bed and i refused to drive her around. She learned quick.

good luck. sane thinking is always going to win out with us. unless she is getting something out of it u are going to lose. and i dont think sleeping on the couch is something u want.

Start small. Just sneak a little bit in while she's not expecting it. If she doesnt complain bring home the rest a little at a time and before she knows it the whole car is there. Who knows, she may even like it.

Where is said GT40 pictures?

Well, it's a bit early to be calling it a GT40. I'm really just kind of killing time and collecting parts until we get back to the states in a few years. It's a bit cost prohibitive to send the chassis back to the states with us when we leave here, so this is what I decided to do in the meantime to stay busy/motivated.

Quick note: that front vertical post is just there to hold the nose up, I swear it's not part of the drawings...

Good times.

Ok Where is Papa?