A disservice to an entire generation?

Heck, my wife was arrested 6 months ago for an out of date vehicle registration.

And no, she's never been arrested before. I am not even sure she has ever had a speeding ticket.

GA really sucks.

In reply to The0retical:

Let me make clear, I don't hold any disdain for the children or any generation. They are suffering the consequences of their parents, parenting choices. The kids, in this situation have an unbelievably hard path to get clear of this and no foundation to build it on. The parents aren't going to be capable of helping them, so they are effectively on their own to figure it out.

We learn from experience and teaching and the teachers/parents hold all the cards. If they choose to not share them, shame on them for sending their students out into the world ill-prepared to deal with all of it.

In reply to Toyman01:

I think you are putting a lot of this on parents when it's the entire zeitgeist that has changed. I am not socially acceptable today... but I'm more old than young so I am grandfathered as an eccentric nut who mows his own lawn on purpose (not because I have to).

The world is superficially very, very different. Deep down it looks the same to me but that has probably always been true of people with a little age/wisdom for all time. You get older... they stop selling idealistic bullE36 M3 to you and market bourbon instead ;) Today's kids will be better at things we didn't know existed. They will be terrible at things we dealt with every day. The sun will come up every damn day until it doesn't.

In reply to Giant Purple Snorklewacker:

True, true and true. I'm the old stick in the mud myself. My kids will definitely be better at a lot of things than I am, but if I don't prepare them for the crappy stuff I know can happen, that's my fault. I can't even imagine what the 16 yo murderers parents are thinking tonight.

The truly scary part is, I don't even know what I've forgotten to teach my kids.

I read something today about some law school professors not teaching about rape and sexual misconduct law because some students complain that it is traumatic...

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/trouble-teaching-rape-law

In reply to fritzsch:

If I were instructing, the first person that claimed that to be offensive would be thrown out of the class and recommend they take up something other than legal studies.....but I'm sure that wouldn't be acceptable anymore.

Its also why I nixed the idea of ever pursuing teaching as a profession......I would make a hell of a history teacher, until I got fired for failing some kid whose parents think could never be the kid's fault.....

Toyman, you're definitely right about the way a lot of parents don't let their kids experience negative emotions. I remember reading an article, probably linked from someone on this board, about kids who were raised this way. In adulthood, they know that their lives are objectively awesome and that they should be nothing but happy, but instead they feel overwhelming anxiety all the time, and have to see a shrink about it. It's like they don't know how to feel good because they don't know what it is to feel bad.

On the other hand, I think a lot of Gen. X'ers and older people underestimate how easy it is for their kids (or grandkids) to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and become exceptionally successful people. Ironically it's because it was much easier for them growing up. The stakes are way higher and the economy doesn't need anywhere near as many workers these days. Getting a good education and working real hard doesn't guarantee success any more, it might not even guarantee you a job.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: The world is superficially very, very different.

Very interesting statement. I agree. I think this is the same E36 M3 with a different wrapper. We are better at talking to our kids about some things we were not in the past and worse on others. So America is pussifying but is a whole lot less racist or homophobic than it used to be. Sure we have problems but there will always be problems. They just keep changing.

GameboyRMH wrote: On the other hand, I think a lot of Gen. X'ers and older people underestimate how easy it is for their kids (or grandkids) to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and become exceptionally successful people. Ironically it's because it was much easier for them growing up. The stakes are way higher and the economy doesn't need anywhere near as many workers these days. Getting a good education and working real hard doesn't guarantee success any more, it might not even guarantee you a job.

I agree with this statement with one caveat.

That caveat is that it would seem the further from an event people are the less difficult they remember it being. I'm seeing this when raising my kids. I'm surrounded by folks who raised children and they don't recall things as accurately a they'd like. Because of this they assume it's easier to do mundane things like go out to dinner as one example. It's not so much from a behavior thing as in making sure the kids are well behaved but more from a time it would take to gather all the child support gear, dressing each child, making sure all diapers are dry before leaving, buckling into safety seats, etc, etc. All of these folks mean well but they are so far divorced from dealing with the realities of it that they've forgotten the small details that are vitally important.

I'd argue that the generations you name may suffer from some of the same difficulties. The amount of time that has passed since they've dealt with these issues does make them more blase about how harsh it can be. Also, times have changed as you state. Things that were easy then are not easy now.

GameboyRMH wrote: I remember reading an article, probably linked from someone on this board, about kids who were raised this way. In adulthood, they know that their lives are objectively awesome and that they should be nothing but happy, but instead they feel overwhelming anxiety all the time, and have to see a shrink about it. It's like they don't know how to feel good because they don't know what it is to feel bad.

This made me think of "Everything is Awesome" from the Lego Movie.

Toyman, I saw that same article and yes the whole thing hit home. My dad also told me when I came home from school and had been in a fight, 'I better not ever hear of you starting a fight. But if someone starts a fight with you I expect you to finish it.' That has always stuck with me. I got in very few fights as a teenager, I am proud to say I never started one. I did win most of them but lost a couple, those were a valuable lesson. The thing was, we kids never even considered knives, guns, etc. even though it was not uncommon to see hunting rifles in pickup truck gun racks or in the trunks of cars. Fights were fistfights, period. I'm at a loss to understand what has changed.

Like you, I've raised my daughter to understand that she has to be self sufficient, chasing fancy crap (fancy cars, name brand everything) is ultimately worthless and she won't always win everything. I've also warned her repeatedly that anything on the internet can and will come back to bite!

I have met so many people who have a sense of entitlement... they feel entitled to whatever they want instantly... it makes me wonder where the hell that came from. The more I see, the more I am convinced it's due to, yes, my generation spoiling and coddling. No consequences for anything. I can only wonder what these entitled twerps will raise their kids to be and that worries me.

Curmudgeon wrote: Like you, I've raised my daughter to understand that she has to be self sufficient, chasing fancy crap (fancy cars, name brand everything) is ultimately worthless and she won't always win everything. I've also warned her repeatedly that anything on the internet can and will come back to bite!

I wish you had raised my Sister. No matter how hard my parents tried, she always has to have "the best" and now she has next to nothing because she was busy chasing people who would give her the best instead of working for it herself.. and on the internet front, her daughter was recently diagnosed with Schizophrenia and even though we all warned her not to.. she blabbed it all over Facebook.. so now the whole world knows that her 14 year old kid is a nut case

Yeah, so much shiat that I remember from growing up would just not fly today- and it's depressing. When I was 5-8 years old an living on a US military base in Germany, my friends and I pretty much had the run of the whole housing area if we wanted it and occasionally would even venture off the base and to the German convenience store across the street. When we were back in the States, I could ride as far as I wanted on my bike as long as I was back home when I was supposed to be (usually dinnertime)- my stomach usually kept me reasonably close though. I walked to school about a mile each way- over a creek which froze over the winter- for several years because the school didn't bus anyone who lived a mile or less away. The only time my parents even considered driving me was when I had to carry in something too big to carry by hand, like a science fair project.

I remember playing Tee-ball and it being possible to strike out. My Youth Activities soccer team was never the best, but we tried hard and relished every goal we managed to score and knew not to gloat when we did win because we knew what it was like to be the one losing. I grew up- and still to this day am the same way- preferring to be competing with the odds heavily against me because I could tell that it forced me to get stronger, faster, and better more quickly.

Hopefully if SWMBO and I have kids we'll be able to raise them right in spite of how the environment and what is 'acceptable' has changed. For all its faults, that is one thing that the more 'backwards' elements of living here in Lexington has going for it- at least a semblance of a connection to the way things used to be and the realization that they're not all bad...

As someone who has had a fairly grounded childhood and falls in the newest generational group (Millenials or whatever stupid E36 M3 it is), I still see some of my behavior falling into this category. I can see that I have some entitlement issues and it pisses me off. However, I think my parents did what they could in a world surrounded with helicopter parents. I didn't have to buy my first car but anything fun I wanted to do with it was on my own. I had a job at 15 and more or less held one for most of high school. Worked in the summers through college, etc... Making things too easy on your kids can really berkeley them up. I have seen it all over and I grew up in a reasonably poor (sort of) small town in Missouri. We lived in the "nice" neighborhood but it was still 40 years old. I am going to make my wife read through this thread specifically because I think that there are some good points in here. She is WAY better at this stuff than me (she is a first grade teacher, but there is no easy ride in that class room), but might learn something new here.

Teh E36 M3 wrote: Yeah, you read about the family in MD who got CPS called on them for letting their 12 and 7 yr old walk home together (total of a mile)? Regardless- I let my kids lose, it breaks my heart something fierce, but I have to do it. My son started wrestling, and he's going to lose his first match, no matter what, and that's going to be really hard for me. I just hope he doesn't give up, but we'll see how my parenting has been so far.

I lost far more basket ball games than I won … I only won my track events if it were dual meets (and not with the 2 schools that had really fast milers) .. I never won the high jump event (we had the conference record holder on our team) …

but I continued to try … I seldom win a-x's (assuming the "pro" drivers run in open class) …but I still come back and try again …

thanks Mom and Dad for letting me keep trying all those yrs

This again?

50s parents: Rock and roll is destroying a generation.
60s parents: The anti-war/hippie movement is destroying a generation.
70s parents: Drugs are destroying a generation.
80s parents: Materialism is destroying a generation.
90s parents: Laziness and grunge music are destroying a generation.
2000s parents: Video games are destroying a generation.
2010s parents: Wussification is destroying a generation.

I wonder what it will be next decade......

In reply to Tom_Spangler:

I think it's going to be the jews again. They haven't got a turn since the 30s.

So much of what's been said rings true. Curmudgen and Ashyukun just about stated my growing up years. My mom has told me that her friends are somewhat jealous of her about her kids. All of us are on our own and make our own way without help. My 2 younger sisters and myself are all over 50 now. I remember getting into a fight with a neighbor and my dad grabbing a couple beers to occupy the other boys father, both just watched us boys fight to make sure it stayed clean and drank beer. Mom has friends that their kids still live at home and/or need help to survive and some of them are my age. My oldest daughter has thanked me for raising her the way I did as it has been beneficial as an adult. All my kids also make their own way, a little slower start than me but still they are on their own without my help.

I believe that some of what has been mentioned is part of the cause of the way things are now. Is there a fix? Unfortunately no. Would take a generation of retraining which ain't gonna happen. Hopefully it won't get worse and stay status quo but I don't forsee that happening either.

wlkelley3 wrote: I remember getting into a fight with a neighbor and my dad grabbing a couple beers to occupy the other boys father, both just watched us boys fight to make sure it stayed clean and drank beer.

LOL! If cops saw that both dads would probably be arrested these days!

In reply to wlkelley3:

Slow starts are the name of the game anymore. You can't make headway in your early 20s without starting your own business. I didn't get a career job until I was 25 and didn't get one that I can see myself in until I was almost 28. This economy sucks, there aren't jobs. Those of us that aren't willing to put our career above EVERYTHING else end up being underemployed.

GameboyRMH wrote:

wlkelley3 wrote: I remember getting into a fight with a neighbor and my dad grabbing a couple beers to occupy the other boys father, both just watched us boys fight to make sure it stayed clean and drank beer.

LOL! If cops saw that both dads would probably be arrested these days!

I remember beating some kid up who was making fun of me and having a un involved parent yank me off the kid.. That kid deserved it.

A friend who is a CEO of a big company said something interesting to me recently...

He told me he liked hiring athletes.

I asked him, "Why, because they know how to win and be part of a team?"

He told me, "No, because they have learned how to loose".

Hmm...

Autocrossing has been a great thing for me and my son. I showed him how to do your best, how to lose and to congratulate the winner. And occasionally how to handle winning. And yes, I used to have to encourage my son when I beat him. Now I'm pleased that he's a gentleman to me when he beats me.

GameboyRMH wrote:

wlkelley3 wrote: I remember getting into a fight with a neighbor and my dad grabbing a couple beers to occupy the other boys father, both just watched us boys fight to make sure it stayed clean and drank beer.

LOL! If cops saw that both dads would probably be arrested these days!

How true. That also sounds like something my dad would have done!

Toyman01 wrote: The truly scary part is, I don't even know what I've forgotten to teach my kids.

This for sure.