Except for the part where she has a boyfriend, I think you're in the situation that all of us would dream to be in someday. You can't loose by being honest at this point (it seems like the relationship is well developed enough to tolerate some honesty). If it were me and she said she was into me, I'd still have some trust issues. She would need to end it with the boyfriend before I could get serious...and demonstrate that it was, in fact, over.
Tell her what you're feeling. But be ready to continue along as friends (It'll be awkward, but at least you'll know).
Clem
and if the answer is no, do not lament the leap you took. celebrate that leap, because as my dad told me a long time ago, "every no gets you one step closer to yes."
ClemSparks wrote:
If it were me and she said she was into me, I'd still have some trust issues. She would need to end it with the boyfriend before I could get serious...and demonstrate that it was, in fact, over.
word. she may put it on you while still keeping the long-distance boyfriend, but remember these words, also from my dad (i should write a book):
"if she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you."
I am still dating my best friend after nearly 6 years.
We knew each other from 7th grade, and she used to date one of my friends, but he started doing drugs, so she split with him and we have been inseparable ever since.
The movie marathon day initiated from previous conversations of me talking about some movie she had not seen. Then she said we needed to have a marathon day during spring break since she was going to be in town, originally she was going to go see her boy friend but a recent surgery is keeping her home.
I then said that considering we were going to be watching them here at my place I'd make dinner.
Anyway yeah I'm going to take the leap, but like I said I'll wait until after finals are over.
Amazing the kinds of advice you can get around this place.
Good luck!
and yeah, given the number of "opinions" one can find around here, we can knee deep in shiny happy people's before we know it. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.
ClemSparks wrote:
AngryCorvair wrote:
"if she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you."
Excactly!
Actually, I disagree. 
I am not going to go into any details as to why, but it is possible to cheat on one person, and then not cheat on someone else and to in fact not ever even consider it once.
Once a cheater does not always make a cheater, although it does make for a blemish on one's track record.
EastCoastMojo wrote:
I am not going to go into any details as to why, but it is possible to cheat on one person, and then not cheat on someone else and to in fact not ever even consider it once.
note to self: ECM got VD when cheating... 
Oh yeah I would make sure things were over between her and the other guy before really starting anything.
I also agree with ECM that just because someone cheats once doesn't mean they will again but it is a black mark on their record. I wouldn't want to be part of her "cheating" it would stress the relationship from the get go. I would rather show her the option that I'm here and care about her and let her make the choice from there.
therex
SuperDork
3/16/09 8:33 p.m.
I always did this:
Want to go grab some dinner?
"I don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."
Well, good thing I don't want to take him out then.
Anyway, nothing ventured nothing gained. If you stay in friend territory too long you'll be there forever. Fish or cut bait. E36 M3 or get off the pot. Seize the Carp.
No, I save that 'specially for Billy berkeleying Mays. Trust me, you do not want to be Billy berkeleying Mays if I'm around. 
924guy
HalfDork
3/16/09 10:50 p.m.
tell her youd really like to show her how romantic you can be, but the whole pesky boy freind thing kind of gets in the way...if your timing is good, depending on her reaction you can go with it or brush it off as a joke worst case, but either way, itll get her thinking.......
gamby
SuperDork
3/16/09 11:09 p.m.
rebelgtp wrote:
Now we come to the problem, she has a boyfriend, its long distance at the moment he is working out side the state or something. She has been planning on moving to the other side of the state so they could live together but is now talking about staying for at least another year. Then there is me starting to hope something happens and they split so I could scoop her up.
This means nothing. College long-distance relationships are designed to fail. 'Tis the nature of the beast.
You need to be more of a jerk and proactively work yoruself into the equation more. The fact that she's paying all of this attention to you is a good sign--however, she could also be an incurable flirt. That can be overridden w/ enough game, though.
It's tough to give the "I really like you..." speech while continuing to come across like a pimp, though. Slippery slope. Can be done, though.
Granted, I did this once and ended up just hooking up w/ her--she went back w/ the boyfriend when the summer was over. 
Getting used for sex isn't so bad after all, though. 
Dude be straight forward don't be anything but yourself, that's why she digs you!
Unlike JG, who pussed out and didn't do it, it's your obligation to wear a helmet-cam when this goes down.
For the good of the board!
GO FOR IT!
Don't worry about the boyfriend.
I stole Mrs Trans-Maro from her boyfriend about 13 years ago and it's been great.
The "into cars" thing can lead to trouble. Half the projects in the driveway are hers but I get to work on them :P
Shawn
gamby wrote:
Getting used for sex isn't so bad after all, though.
Sex is like pizza.
Even it it's bad, it's still pizza!
Shawn
LOL God I love this board. Sorry no helmet cam so you guys will just have to use your imaginations ... hmmm wait that could be dangerous.
As for her being an incurable flirt, I don't think that is it because while she talks to some of the other guys at school I am the one that gets most of the attention and the only one she flirts with.
I am working myself more into the equation this week finals are just getting in the way (at least the chem final is out of the way). Funny thing is she just texted me from work saying her back hurt. I told her to bad I wasn't there to give her a massage, she seemed to like that
I've been used for sex before...I can't complain to much about that situation because at least I knew that is what was happening
Maybe rebelgtp is busy "telling her how he feels"
yeah seriously what's the scoop
