Are we settling, or just poor?

Does no one get that JB writes humor/satire?

Here, try this, place tongue firmly in cheek and read: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/10/ask-jack-final-countdown/

Nobody can make you drive a CUV. And nobody can make you NOT drive one either. Being a manly man means not caring what other people think about you, especially some random loudmouth on the Internet or in traffic. At the same time, you shouldn't judge other people.

So JB's article really fails the manly man test.

Baruth is a dipE36 M3 and I'm going to tell you why. He thinks that by being a single knucklehead with all the toys he ever wanted that he is somehow happier or more fulfilled than I am, the pretty typical middle-aged American male. I have a wife, 2 kids, a pet, and I drive a minivan while working full time to pay a mortgage. I sold my Porsche when my daughter was born to help cover her expenses. My wife will be driving a Prius as soon as we close on one. I must cry in my organic, free-range, grass-fed, GMO-free kombucha every night lamenting the loss of not having a garage full of RX-7's and a 911 as my DD.

Here's reality though: I'm happy and he's not. You want to know why? My daughter, who is 4, is super-excited for this weekend and can't stop talking about it. Why? I'm taking her to the World of Speed Museum so she can look at cars, and there's a model car contest where she gets to build a car and take it home. This girl is so excited she's coming unglued just waiting for it because I "settled" for racing less and not having a 3rd play car so I could do things like take care of my family. Funny thing is, that meant I got to do more fun stuff with them. She's been to more car shows than I can remember, been in the hot pits at a Rally America race, her favorite movie is Cars, and she talks about how exciting the swap meet is more than any other adventure in her life. She also has built 3 model cars (and is actually pretty decent at it), knows how to race slot cars, has a wicked Hot Wheels collection, and loves to wash the cars.

So you know what the Baruths of the world who are so lonely and depressed they have to write articles that try to demean a family man can do? Wallow in their own self-loathing because in 15 years I'm going to be attending my kid's races watching them have a love for cars because I decided sharing that love was better than having "no compromises".

No excuse me, the weather is nice and I'm going to take my minivan for a drive.

It's all a balance. I see many people here climb the ladder fast, but the toll on their family life is not for me. I had the opportunity to work at some very good consulting firms out of B school and chose to not go that path. Sometimes, I lament my decision as a solid consulting background is a huge push forward in your career. However, I sleep at home most nights of the week. I'll write more tonight.

We ended up with a CUV (Linc MKC) because we needed something that wasn't too large to live with in the city but could still tow my rallyx car. eat that, internet car snob :p

I'm actually pretty sure I'll be buying a crossover next. I have a one car garage and I've already had numerous times where I couldn't fit something I wanted to bring home in my hatchback Mazda 3. I like cars and all, but honestly I don't think I'm a car guy anymore. It's too expensive and time consuming. Witness the waning: First 3 cars were stick. Got a job that required commuting through traffic and started getting leg cramps all the time from the clutch pedal. Switched to automatic.

Have now had 4 automatics in a row, with gradually decreasing horsepower and cylinders. No longer stay out until 4AM on weekends going to street races or driving hundreds of miles to autocross. Sleeping better.

Lived in a condo for 12 years saving up to buy a house with a 2 car garage so I could have a play car. When the time came, I realized I didn't really want to pay for 2 cars and would rather be able to retire before I'm 70. So, cheaper house/one car garage.

Jack Baruth thinks I'm not "manly"? Well, what do I care?

In reply to slowride:

So, what you're saying is:

Baruth writes to get a reaction. It clearly works. We're two pages deep discussing an article already.

I enjoy TTAC overall. Much of the commenters truly add to the discussion, and rather than just blasting newsbits, there tends to be a bit more thought and consideration to what items mean, which lends to better discussion as well.

When JB is on point though, he is brilliant. Yes he's opinionated, yes he ruffles feathers. He also does a nice job of sparring within the comments as many contributors won't do. No he's not what TTAC is all about.

No, I'm saying I don't care if someone thinks I'm conforming.

Javelin wrote: Baruth is a dipE36 M3 and I'm going to tell you why. He thinks that by being a single knucklehead with all the toys he ever wanted that he is somehow happier or more fulfilled than I am, the pretty typical middle-aged American male. I have a wife, 2 kids, a pet, and I drive a minivan while working full time to pay a mortgage. I sold my Porsche when my daughter was born to help cover her expenses. My wife will be driving a Prius as soon as we close on one. I must cry in my organic, free-range, grass-fed, GMO-free kombucha every night lamenting the loss of not having a garage full of RX-7's and a 911 as my DD. Here's reality though: I'm happy and he's not. You want to know why? My daughter, who is 4, is super-excited for this weekend and can't stop talking about it. Why? I'm taking her to the World of Speed Museum so she can look at cars, and there's a model car contest where she gets to build a car and take it home. This girl is so excited she's coming unglued just waiting for it because I "settled" for racing less and not having a 3rd play car so I could do things like take care of my family. Funny thing is, that meant I got to do *more* fun stuff with them. She's been to more car shows than I can remember, been in the hot pits at a Rally America race, her favorite movie is Cars, and she talks about how exciting the *swap meet* is more than any other adventure in her life. She also has built 3 model cars (and is actually pretty decent at it), knows how to race slot cars, has a wicked Hot Wheels collection, and loves to wash the cars. So you know what the Baruths of the world who are so lonely and depressed they have to write articles that try to demean a family man can do? Wallow in their own self-loathing because in 15 years I'm going to be attending my kid's races watching them have a love for cars because I decided sharing that love was better than having "no compromises". No excuse me, the weather is nice and I'm going to take my minivan for a drive.

No you've got it all wrong. You're reproducing and passing on the values of western civilization, so obviously you're an emasculated loser!

In reply to Javelin:

I sold my Ducati to help with my youngest birth, I sold my Wrangler to buy a house. I settled.

We settled. We settled to be awesome to those in my life we cared about!!!

Huckleberry wrote: Does no one get that JB writes humor/satire? Here, try this, place tongue firmly in cheek and read: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/10/ask-jack-final-countdown/

Dont let that get in the way of a good mob!

I always enjoy Jack's writing.

Reading how people reacted to this article... yea, I'm not going to bother.

Never been keen on (kinda)truth about (sorta) cars site.

Writing with the intention of making people mad is, well.... not worth my time.

In reply to logdog:

Hey, here I was just trying to write a friendly counter-point to the article.

nderwater wrote: For the vast majority of people, the type of car they drive doesn't even make the first page on their list of life's priorities. Only an idiot looks at them and immediately thinks #despair and #emasculation.

Well, to be fair, he's writing for a specific audience; the people that read The Truth About Cars. Those people are not those where the type of car they drive is unimportant. You can't read an article about priorities on, say, a Beanie Baby Blog (do those exist any more?) and act offended that they assume you're interested in Beanie Babies.

And yes, Jack is writing in a character, but his life is really quite unusual. At the same time as you can't quite believe he's banging strippers left and right, you shouldn't write it off as impossible. And you better believe his priorities are different from a typical family man's.

p.s. I can't believe how many noses his articles have tweaked. I'm sure he loves it. Who would have thought people were so deeply and personally invested in their CUV ownership?

tuna55 wrote: In reply to logdog: Hey, here I was just trying to write a friendly counter-point to the article.

Absolutely, and I do find my priorities very different from his now that I have kids. When I was 19, I would have found it insane to imagine having money in the bank and be driving cheap-ass cars. But nearing 40 and having a kid at home I'm a different person. I haven't emasculated myself by buying a CUV yet, but I would if I wanted one - and wouldn't feel emasculated.

Then again, I was driving a station wagon at 19 and loving it.

RedGT wrote: The people I don't understand (and the people baruth is is writing to IMO) are the ones who have plenty of income, 2 $50k luxury crossovers, the 3rd garage bay is filled with the kids' outdoor toys. Then the guy is at cars and coffee wishing he could own a Corvette. Dude. Go buy one.

I often meet those types. They'll look at me with my 6 cars and make assumptions about my income. Then I'll see what vehicle they're driving and mention that it cost more than what I've paid for all 6 of my cars combined.

In reply to Javelin:

This single, knucklehead with more toys than he knows what to do with agrees with you.

The Truth About Cars is a blog that's in my daily rotation. I LOVE the Junkyard Find series, the Reader Reviews of obscure stuff (they did a Daihatsu Charade recently!), and their new car reviews (they try to get a more pedestrian, production model to review). Jack's stuff can be entertaining, but he's a gunslinger. He's an internet tough guy with self-imposed beliefs that he lives by. And I agree, he's aiming at the guy who has the McMansion with the 3 car garage filled with kid's toys, two Lexus RX's in the driveway, and an undying want to escape to his youth. He's probably NOT writing to us. Most of us have something else going on out in the backyard.

To me, like many of you, family is important. If I had kids, I'd make sure we could accommodate them in our fleet of vehicles. Would I buy a crossover? Personally, no. I don't like them. I'd prefer a more traditional approach, like a big sport sedan (a-la Dodge Charger R/T), or a wagon of some sort. The closest I would go is a 4-door pickup or something like a Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4. I don't really like the way crossovers drive or handle. To me, they are rolling compromises of traits I don't really like. My wife, on the other hand, loves them and wants one eventually. And that's 100% cool with me. She doesn't care about the things I look for in a vehicle.

That said, buy what you want! I know people that have them. They work for them, and it's certainly nothing to crucify someone over. But for that guy I mentioned earlier to just concede like he's saying, man or woman, that's pretty weak. We are only here for a short time. If you have the means, do what you want!

Didn't read the article, not going to, hell Im too lazy to read all the comments here. I have friends that write for TTAC and I still don't read it, because life is for living, not reading about.

So to that, did you settle? Only you can answer that. Having a family, living in the burbs and driving an appliance isn't settling, its just a different life. To the OP, from what I've read of your exploits and adventures I wouldn't say you settled at all. Perhaps your idea of the perfect life isn't the same as everyone's but when you family guys start posing about your exploits with your kids I see a greater sense of worth and fulfillment in your actions and words than any of us who just blather on about what we did to some inanimate object today.

At the end of my run, I'll seldom be remembered for the cars I built or drove, but there's a young lady who calls me dad who will always hold memories of me, some fond, perhaps some not. But we live on through those memories. When it comes time for the lights to go out do you want to do it driving your dream car or surrounded by your kids? Live how you want to live, and get the most out of it.

There is nothing wrong with settling at some points in life and living with no regrets at others. I'm not sure why someone has to be all or nothing for the 90+ years we all hope to be kicking around.

mazdeuce wrote: There is nothing wrong with settling at some points in life and living with no regrets at others. I'm not sure why someone has to be all or nothing for the 90+ years we all hope to be kicking around.

You were one of them family types to which I was referring (aside from the OP) Keep it up.

JThw8 wrote: Didn't read the article, not going to, hell Im too lazy to read all the comments here. I have friends that write for TTAC and I still don't read it, because life is for living, not reading about. So to that, did you settle? Only you can answer that. Having a family, living in the burbs and driving an appliance isn't settling, its just a different life. To the OP, from what I've read of your exploits and adventures I wouldn't say you settled at all. Perhaps your idea of the perfect life isn't the same as everyone's but when you family guys start posing about your exploits with your kids I see a greater sense of worth and fulfillment in your actions and words than any of us who just blather on about what we did to some inanimate object today. At the end of my run, I'll seldom be remembered for the cars I built or drove, but there's a young lady who calls me dad who will always hold memories of me, some fond, perhaps some not. But we live on through those memories. When it comes time for the lights to go out do you want to do it driving your dream car or surrounded by your kids? Live how you want to live, and get the most out of it.

Quoted because that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. Thanks!

My little one is only 15 months old and it's amazing how fast my priorities shifted. She's amazing and just being around her I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, and when she laughs and grabs me after a long day at work I feel like there's nothing that could possibly come close. Just nothing. Anybody that prioritizes their kids before their cars is doing right in my book.

But don't bitch about it, that's for sure!

In reply to dculberson:

Wait until they are 15yrs old, won't give you the time of day and when they do it's a face full of E36 M3 about how they couldn't possibly do all their chores, work and homework at the same time. Oh, and can I have $20 because I spent my whole paycheck on sheet music and pizza and I want to take Liz to see Deadpool?

I drown it out with the sound of wind in my helmet. Or an angle grinder. Like you said... priorities change fast. Don't be left with just a E36 M3ty crossover when you need an escape (not a Ford pun AT ALL)

Settle... but hold the line on something for yourself or you will miss it one day and may not be able to get it back.

In reply to Huckleberry:

I think the over-reaching point here is that it's simply not settling.

Life is a constant balance and rebalance of priorities. Giving them all up to satisfy one end (that's not survival) is folly, and will certainly not lead one to happiness. I think the post you're replying to is indicating a rebalance. I am sure that by the time his kids are teenagers, that rebalance will have occurred a few more times.