Badass relatives

I've long thought of myself as relatively badass. But today I got news that it came from a legit source.

Earlier just today a 75 lb male pitbull tried to kill one of my mothers' cats. My mom is maybe 5'2" and 64 years old. She grabbed the pit by the throat and choked it.....to death!! I'm stunned and had to share.

Any badass older relatives out there?

Don't piss off your mom.

Imagine what she could do with one of those tanks for sale.

Does she have a background that you might not know about? Lol

Uhh... Not what I expected to read . Uncle with a cool boat yes. Bad ass chokehold old lady no.

Awesome.

More amazing is that she's a left leaning liberal pacifist ex-hippy.

Though there was a time 40 years ago when she was in the thoroughbred horse industry. While leading a particularly savage stallion he bit her on the thigh (literally picked her up by the femur) and she had to beat him in the head with an oak twitch (3' long cudgel). She nearly lost her leg but was back to work three days later.

One of my stepfather's brothers had a big block engined Crosley.

That doesn't really compare.

Is your dad still alive?

Wow, do not piss off your mom!

An few orders of magnitude less impressive, but I thought my grandmother was pretty badass. She was maybe 4'9" 80lb, but when I was maybe 15 and my cousin and I got in a fight, she got between us, started screaming in Slovenian, and throat punched both of us like Yoda. Stopped the fight immediately, and once we could breathe again we just sat there on the ground laughing.

Edit - just digested the fact that she almost lost her leg, but was back to work in 3 days. They really don't make people like this anymore...

My great uncle that lived in Chicago had a pair of nickel plated revolvers the family fought about many years after his death.

My dad said he always had a revolver in his glove box when he went on vacation (1942-1952 era). He was about 5'2" tall and the same 5'2" wide. Crazy Italians.

Uncle on my dads side (former Vietnam marine) was visited by law enforcement back in the early 80's who were confiscating his safe (due to contraband)

They cuffed uncle Allroad and two deputies were pushing the safe across his linoleum floor, cutting the floor in the process. This annoyed uncle A who told said deputies to uncuff him and he proceeded to PICK UP the 300 lb safe by himself and carry it out to the cruiser. When he dropped it in the trunk it squatted the ford out and it took four men to get it back out at the station.

Not bad for a dude who is only 5'7" and about 160lbs.

Never heard any stories, grampa never talked about the war. but I do know that he was in Europe with the RCAF.

Going through my moms stuff after she passed, I found a photo album and a big box of negatives.

I started scanning the negatives and found that a bunch were not in the album.

There's one of my grandfather sitting on a very blown-up German tank.

Wish he was alive so I could ask him about it.

Shawn

My Grandfather...

Ran away from home at 16. Proceeded to drive nitro glycerin trucks, and carried a stick of dynamite in his shirt pocket to dissuade anyone tried to pick a fight with him.
Was a WW2 Navy Fighter Pilot in the Pacific. Best pilot in his squadron. In inclement weather, they'd send him out first if the squadron had to hop carriers to see if it was possible.
When a guy commented "If you didn't have those bars on your shoulder..." my grandfather took off his Lieutenant's bars and knocked the guy to the ground.
After getting hassled by a corrupt, racist, southern cop, he went back out and baited the guy into pulling him over again, then stuck a sawed-off shotgun in his face, took his clothes and keys, and dropped them off a mile down the road.
Looped the Golden Gate bridge.
Flew through the blimp hangars at Moffet field.
Was in instructor in what later became Strike School.
Started the Navy's "Family Cruise" program to deal with attrition despite knowing the brass would never approve it.
Was persona non grata in Cuba by word of Castro.
Talked truck driving with Elvis.
Has personally told Ralph Nader to berkeley off.
Talked the top Admirals into a corner leading the Navy to switch to using the FA-18 away from refurbishing the F-14.
In his last act of consciousness while having the stroke that killed him, steered his car into a ravine rather than run someone over.

people are more badass than they realize. Adrenalin and the like can make even an older grandma type into a superhero.

As for badassness.. I found out something about my Great Grandmother I wish I had known 30 years ago when I had to read the book for school.. she actually lived through what went on in "the grapes of wrath"

Might have made me appreciate the book more

When the long gun registry started in Canada, most of us cousins dropped our rifles off in Grandpas basement at the farm.

There must have been 20, anything from my little Remington 66 to my cousins Browning 30-06.

The government required that a veteran, whom they had trained and paid to shoot people around 70 years ago and who spent his free time shooting at dinner during before he went overseas, receive safety training and register his firearms.

I asked my grandfather what he did about that.

The explanation I got was that he filled out all his paperwork, kept his copy of the form in his desk and threw out the rest.

If anyone asked, the government lost their part of the paperwork. Based on his experiences with the military, the government loves to screw up paperwork, it's like a hobby for them.

Great-grandfather was a Civil war Veteren and had my Granfather very late in his life with a much younger Native American wife. When she cheated on him, he chased her off his property with a shotgun in one hand and my Grandfather in the other.

She left with my grandfather's brother.

No one knows what happened to her or the brother.

So there's a whole 'nother branch of the family out there.

Grandpa was a SSGT in the Army motor pool in Europe. Landed on D-Day + 1. He only said a couple of things about the war.

First was a story about repairing the generator of a half-track in the field while under fire. When asked why he did that, he stated that he wasn't going to send one of his boys in there.

Then when we were all at my older brother's bachelor party, with the stripper, the subject turned to his time in Europe during the liberation of Paris He merely mentioned that the French women were VERY appreciative and that he had a run in with one of the higher ups in command as he was headed into a bar. The General asked what he was doing and he replied that he was going to go into that bar and get drunk. The General saluted and told him to carry-on. So he did along with his squad mates.

All of that, plus raising three boys, driving school buses and later rebuilding drivelines, alternators and generators in his basement, helping Grandma with her alcoholism, etc. and he still couldn't beat Great Aunt Mid at Poker. :)

This is my great-grandfather enjoying a cup of coffee. He was a blacksmith.

KyAllroad wrote: I've long thought of myself as relatively badass. But today I got news that it came from a legit source. Earlier just today a 75 lb male pitbull tried to kill one of my mothers' cats. My mom is maybe 5'2" and 64 years old. She grabbed the pit by the throat and choked it.....to death!! I'm stunned and had to share. Any badass older relatives out there?

Now she will get charged with animal cruelty and/or be sued by the dogs owner. Isn't that the way things work today ?

My Uncle, Walt Blackadar.

He was a surgeon, oil company owner, and a World Class kayaker (one of the best in the world in the '70's)

He kayaked the Snake River and pulled Evel Knievel from his failed attempt to jump the canyon, boarded the helicopter with Knievel to the rim, then shoved his official doctor out the door with his foot, saying, "He's my patient!"

Eventually died with his boots on in a failed attempt of the Payette River.

Wild guy. Straight shooter, raucous, yet deeply honest. Never lived a day trying to impress anyone.

This is a little long, but it's a great story:

Whit Deschner's story of Walt Blackadar

And here's a book about him:

Never Turn Back

Not sure he could whoop your 67 year old mom, but I'm sure he'd date her.

In reply to SVreX:

That was a helluva read.

In reply to petegossett:

Thanks. Glad you liked it.

I was kind of excited to find it. I had never seen it before today. I like the guy's writing style, in addition to his subject matter.

Am I the only one who thinks this was a massive over reaction? Once subdued, was killing someone's pet necessary? Dogs don't like cats side the beginning of time, ending it's life sucks a lot in my opinion.

petegossett wrote: In reply to SVreX: That was a helluva read.

Agreed that really struck a chord with me too.