Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Kevin's pals are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three friends get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Dang, Kevin how long you been here? How did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. After dinner at home yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing sexy brand new lingerie. She said had been reading 'Fifty Shades of Gray' and she had a devilish look in her eyes!!! She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'
So... here I am!"
My wife's been reading that. I showed this to her and she said she was going to throw her copy away.
swmbo read it and i must say...nothing happened. I am very disappoint
For those who don't know this is basically Twilight except the guy's a monster because he's a hardcore S&M freak instead of a sparkly vampire.
Duke
PowerDork
2/26/13 2:10 p.m.
poopshovel wrote:
berkeleyin chicks.
That's rather the point, n'est-ce pas?
swmbo read it and i must say...something happened. I am very pleased. :D
foxtrapper wrote:
something happened. I am very pleased. :D
She was thinking of someone else? 
SWMBO started reading it. It was so badly written we ended up just laughing at it, what with all the sighing, soulful gazes, and biting of lips.
Beer Baron wrote:
SWMBO started reading it. It was so badly written we ended up just laughing at it, what with all the sighing, soulful gazes, and biting of lips.
It wouldn't be a proper Twilight knockoff without the E36 M3ty writing.
GameboyRMH wrote:
For those who don't know this is basically Twilight except the guy's a monster because he's a hardcore S&M freak instead of a sparkly vampire.
For the record, being a hardcore S&M practitioner doesn't make you a monster or a freak. I think you meant that he is a monster AND an S&M aficionado.
Now apologize to all the S&M folks on the board.
In reply to pinchvalve:
Except that the author of 50 SoG knew about as much about actual S&M practitioners as the author of Twilight knew about actual Vampires.
We laughed at it too.
It made Fabio books look like literary masterpieces.
And pinchvalve I realize you were trying to make a funny, but if you'd read it you wouldn't have posted that.
pinchvalve wrote:
For the record, being a hardcore S&M practitioner doesn't make you a monster or a freak. I think you meant that he is a monster AND an S&M aficionado.
That's just my 2nd-hand understanding of how the book portrays the character, don't make me read it to understand the finer points
pinchvalve wrote:
Now apologize to all the S&M folks on the board.
Will I have to be paddled?
914Driver wrote:
foxtrapper wrote:
something happened. I am very pleased. :D
She was thinking of someone else?
A friend told me, "I don't care where she gets the appetite as long as she eats at home." 
slefain
SuperDork
2/26/13 4:17 p.m.
Tom Suddard wrote:
Good. As a parent I think that is a relief to Margie.
Probably down hill, at an amazing rate of speed.
Yeah... Stewart and Colbert have educated me plenty about the book's content. I was more commenting on the direction this thread could take. Personally, I'm rooting for more awful S&M jokes.
Rxbalt
New Reader
2/26/13 5:28 p.m.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
You're welcome.
Tom Suddard wrote:
Personally, I'm rooting for more awful S&M jokes.
Per the googles:
A young couple was making passionate love in the back of the man's panel van when, suddenly, the girl (being a bit on the kinky side) yells out, "Oh, big boy, whip me! Whip me!"
The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously didn't have any whips to hand but, in a flash of inspiration, opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are beginning to fester a bit so she goes to her doctor. The medico takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
The girl is somewhat taken aback and embarrassedly admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor says, "I thought so because in all my years of doctoring, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
slefain wrote:
Tom Suddard wrote:
Good. As a parent I think that is a relief to Margie.
As a child, though, I guess Tommy will find no relief in hearing that I read it. At least, I tried to. It sucked, and after all the soul-searching, neurotically doubting inner dialog, it sucked some more. [rimshot] No thanks.
I bailed halfway through, having read just enough to show up at the hairdresser's and say, "oh yeah..." without adding "you're berkeleying stupid if you liked that."
Now, if you want a fine piece of chick-lit, I do recommend "The Fault In Our Stars."
Margie
Margie,[I've not read it] think your opinion was tainted by the fact that you're an Editor and know good from bad writing?
Are the hairdresser ladies sheep?
