I came here for an argument

I like pineapple when it's paired with jalapenos.

I hope I'm not burned at the stake.

When I worked in a pizza place, I'd par cook a dough, take it out of the over, put on raw scrambled eggs, ham, peppers, onions and american cheese. Finish cooking it. Breakfast pizza- delicious with a few shots of Frank's Red Hot.

So, I'm very willing to go off-book with what a pizza is. I think the best pizzas have:

• Hand tossed crust, which is crispy at the edge and chewy
• This crust must stand up to having the slice folded in half without drooping. This means that it must be evenly stretched from crust to middle AND that the sauce and topping ratio must be correct for the dough.
• The ratio of sauce/cheese/toppings is crucial and depends on the toppings themselves.
• Whole milk mozzarella only
• Vegetable toppings should be added near the end of the bake so they don't sweat all over the pizza
• Top and bottom oven heat must be identical, so there is even cooking
• Red pizza sauce should have no sugar in it.
• The sauce must match the toppings. The pizza above gets HOT SAUCE, not marinara. A BBQ chicken pizza should use BBQ sauce for the base, not marinara. Etc.
• The cut should leave each piece of pizza with a strip of crust and a swath of topped dough. Round pies lend themselves best to this.
   

Never use utensils on your pizza.

ShawnG said:

Coleslaw on a hotdog is amazing.

Not likely news to most of the people here.

At Maxton between runs I wandered over to the food trailer.

Me: I'll have a hot dog please

Hot dog lady: Y'all want slaaaww on that?

Canadian me: What?

Hot dog lady: Slaw, you want slaw on your dog?

Me: Coleslaw, eh? Sure, why not.

Me 5 minutes later: Can I have another hot dog please? Don't forget the slaaawww

Also... my new fav style of pizza:  Dill Pickle

Grtechguy said:

Also... my new fav style of pizza:  Dill Pickle

In the spirit of the OP's request, that's just wrong!

Pineapple is great on pizza, and pizza should never be called pie. That's pretentious and stoopid. 
I agree 100% that pizza crust should be thick enough to be folded, no thinner. 

You fold paper, not your food. 

Duke said:

bobzilla said:

dean1484 said:

So while we are arguing food will some one please explain to me why when you turn a certain age (12,13,14?) you are all of a sudden not suppose to put ketchup on hot dogs?

Who told you that crock of E36 M3? They're liars. Damned dirty liars

No one old enough to use the toilet unassisted should eat a hot dog. 
 

FTFY.  Brats > any other grilled sausage or link.

It's really an academic discussion anyway because everybody knows that panzerotti is better and there's none of this square vs triangle business

Mrs. P loves Pizza hut.

And it's so inexpensive if you sign up for email alerts and deals, which I like. So we get that more often than not, and we'll order two, because the deal usually hinges on multiples. I'll pick most of the cheese off and give it to her, and I'll end up with basically meat and veggies on a bun with sauce.

I like all pizza (but not all toppings).  Even pizza that you fold.  Even pizza that you PRE-fold (calzone).

The worst pizza is thin crust that is crunchy like a cracker.  But its still pizza.

02Pilot said:

In spite of the fact that I have lost all respect for some of you because of this thread, I find it difficult to resist throwing in my two cents. First off, the proper test of any pizza source is how they do with a plain pie. If they can't get the basics right, all the toppings in the world won't redeem their awful, crappy pizza, and they should hang their heads in eternal shame. Second, any dough or sauce that has sugar added to it is an immediate disqualifier; any sweetness must come from the tomatoes themselves. Third, mozzarella of some sort (I tend to prefer fresh mozzarella, but that's not mandatory) must be included in a quantity proportional to the amount of sauce on the pie. You'd think this would be self-evident, but based on my experience it isn't.

Three core truths of pizza right there. Some people claim they need to add sugar to tomato sauce to balance the acidity of the tomatoes. No. Tomato sauce should be enjoyed for being unbalanced.

bobzilla said:

I love pizza. My body doesn't like pizza sauce so we've been experimenting. 

There are quite a few other options besides tomato sauce. You can do a white pizza with no sauce, or a classical margharita pizza where you use sliced tomatoes and basil without sauce. Another option is to use basil pesto or other non tomato based pasta sauces instead of tomato sauce. Of course, for those who believe in the One True Pizza, I may have just gone past being heretical into raising Rhy'la and summoning Cthulu territory with that suggestion.

Grtechguy said:

Also... my new fav style of pizza:  Dill Pickle

I'm curious - what's the recipe?

Grtechguy said:

Also... my new fav style of pizza:  Dill Pickle

At this point in the conversation, I can't tell if you are trolling or not lol.

Regardless, I'd try it anyway. That's the great thing about pizza; it can be anything you want.

Dead serious on the pickle pizza.    try it.   

My initial thoughts before biting into it wherewith the same skepticism.

Title is misleading...should be "100 Monkeys Flinging Poo..." 

bobzilla said:

 And why is it "pizza snobs" are always New Yorkers?

Because we're right. Yougoddaproblemwitdat?

In reply to bobzilla :

No one ever talks about what great pizza they had in Indiana. 

stanger_mussle (Forum Supporter) said:

At 39 years old, I've yet to have real New York style pizza.

"New York style" is not New York pizza. Seriously. The municipal water in NYC (and much of the surrounding area - similar sources) has a direct effect on the way the dough behaves when cooking. There's plenty of bad pizza in NY (and not just the $1.00/slice joints), but the real deal good stuff is only possible in NY, or some of the surrounding area.

A minor variation is New Haven apizza, which is - and I say this knowing I may have to turn in my New Yorker card - arguably superior.

In reply to Peabody :

Slaw goes great on hot dogs, crab cake sammiches, and pulled pork sammiches. Otherwise it is useless...

In reply to Wally (Forum Supporter) :

I had White Castle for the first time in Indiana, so it's not that bad a place. 
 

I just realized I may have made things worse. 

Chicago-style pizza is not a pizza.  It's a casserole.

Yes to the pineapple, especially on a BBQ chicken pizza

I prefer my crust thin.  When you get a deep dish or "pan" pizza, it's just mostly dough.  My favorite kind of crust is a NY-style that  gets cooked a wee bit too long so it has a little crunch on the bottom.

...I like plain old Hot and Ready and not just cause it’s cheap.

I’m also a fan of square deep dish baked to be crispy around the edges, what some call “Detroit style” deep dish.

Pineapple is not ideal on pizza but it’s a lot better if it goes on fresh. The stuff from a can is not good.

But I’ll still eat it because really I’ll eat just about anything.

My typical pizza looks like this.  I typically just do cheese, my son adds pepperoni to his side.

I do need to figure out how to get the dough to rise a little more though (and use less).  I like deep dish, but I want it to be a tad less heavy.

In reply to ProDarwin :

Easy button for me for pizza dough is to just go to Publix and get some of their dough.  I'd try that

New York pizza people are very much like German engineers.  They have both told everyone within earshot that they are really, really good at stuff, but when you search the source of the info, it's either New Yorkers or Germans telling you this.

They are both wrong.