If a man ran a personal advice column...

Saw this on another board:

Dear Roger,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was made redundant six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Roger

I have that pinned on the wall of my cubicle.

well, he did address the root of the problem...

we need Margie's opinion on this one

"Dear Sheila,

Pouring the foundation for a new patio is a surprisingly easy home improvement task. A small cement mixer can be rented from most hardware stores for a modest fee. This will make the job of pouring the foundation a one-woman job and ensure a more even consistency of your concrete. This will make your new patio look more attractive and hold up for much longer.

I hope that helps,

Margie"

I like it.

Margie

So wrong, yet so funny...

Too bad, now her patio will have a dip in it.

Tommy Suddard wrote: Too bad, now her patio will have a dip in it.

And you know this, how?

Tommy Suddard wrote: Too bad, now her patio will have a dip in it.

[shakes head] I thought y'all understood the nuances of the proper placement of rebar and the importance of a concrete vibrator. Jeez, it ain't rocket surgery. [/shakes head]

we know how Margie keeps Tim in line...

Jensenman wrote: [shakes head] I thought y'all understood the nuances of the proper placement of ...a ... vibrator. Jeez, it ain't rocket surgery. [/shakes head]

Go on...

Looking on the bright side - now that the 22 year old is keeping hubby occupied - she has more time to work on the car.

Osterkraut wrote:

Jensenman wrote: [shakes head] I thought y'all understood the nuances of the proper placement of ...a ... vibrator. Jeez, it ain't rocket surgery. [/shakes head]

Go on...

Well, first you put your pinkies... um, fambly forum.

wouldn't a concrete vibrator be a bit rough and hurt?

You gotta turn it on REAL low. Like I said, nuances.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

a bit long, but hilarious if you can watch it to the end.. more advice man style..

GameboyRMH wrote: He was made redundant six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I

What, he keeps repeating himself?

She might want to refer him to the Department of Redundancy Department.