Ode to My Stomach Virus

So, yeah. When I get sick, I tend to exhibit enhanced creativity with diminished good taste.

Ode to My Stomach Virus (Sung to the tune of, "It is well with My Soul")

When poo, like a river, attendeth my way;

When sink barfs, like sea billows, roll;

When gas makes a din

That I cannot keep in,

It's not well, no not well

With my soul.

So the stomach virus is making you loopy too! Sorry man.

I got stomach flu so bad last year I still can't eat the last thing I ate before not being to hold anything down, I kinda miss corn casserole.

This is the grossest one I've ever had. The war in my guts is producing copious amounts of both H2S and CO2 in my intestine AND my stomach. Nastiest burps in all if human history...

Dude, I heard on facebook that hard boiled eggs and pickles will cure the stomach flu.

4cylndrfury wrote: Dude, I heard on facebook that hard boiled eggs and pickles will cure the stomach flu.

No, no. I'm pretty sure it was beer and convenience store burritos.

In haiku form:
First I was okay
Then poops and barfs came bigly
Gastro delight nope.

From my own experience:
That soft-shell crab seemed
dodgy but probably fine
trip to ER now.

BrokenYugo wrote: I got stomach flu so bad last year I still can't eat the last thing I ate before not being to hold anything down, I kinda miss corn casserole.

It took me close to 20 years before I could eat fish again.

This is in no way related to Airplane!, but I am amused by the concidence.

johnnie wrote: In haiku form: First I was okay Then poops and barfs came bigly Gastro delight nope.

And that, friends, is exactly what Japanese haiku (and technical instructions) sounds like when translated to Engrish. You sir, have a gift

Hang in. It'll be better tomorrow.

WildScotsRacing wrote:

johnnie wrote: In haiku form: First I was okay Then poops and barfs came bigly Gastro delight nope.

And that, friends, is exactly what Japanese haiku (and technical instructions) sounds like when translated to Engrish. You sir, have a gift

A gift but not flair
Open window for fresh air
Better now, ain't it?