If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?
-my 11 year old
you see where she gets her sense of humor
If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?
-my 11 year old
you see where she gets her sense of humor
chandler said:If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?
-my 11 year old
you see where she gets her sense of humor
Yeah, Facebook. It's been posted a lot.
Steve_Jones said:chandler said:If this virus resulted in diarrhea would all the nasal spray shelves be empty?
-my 11 year old
you see where she gets her sense of humor
Yeah, Facebook. It's been posted a lot.
Haha, I'm not on there. I thought it was funny, guess not original though.
Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?
Trying to settle a bet at work
"NASA FIXES MARS LANDER BY TELLING IT TO HIT ITSELF WITH A SHOVEL"
The headline was all caps, I just pasted it in.
Mndsm said:Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?
Trying to settle a bet at work
And the answer is?
"You've never drag-raced this combo?"
"I drag-raced to Taco Bell with my tuner in the back seat."
Adrian_Thompson said:Mndsm said:Hey siri- did one of the Olsen twins do porn?
Trying to settle a bet at work
And the answer is?
i can't recall the comedian's name but i heard this one the other day:
"my neighbors just finished starring in a porn. well, they don't know that yet."
It's starting to look like Howard Hughes wasn't nuts after all.
Don't blow your nose when your taking a dump. Your welcome
"As more work from home, Walmart sees rise in sales of tops, not bottoms"
"They figured out how to ruin olives." -My wife, after trying the Olive Tapenade flavored hummus I bought.
3yo: Daddy, I want a real trumpet.
Me (who already got him a toy trumpet): Kiddo, those are so expensive.
3yo: but it's so real!
cheapest one I could find that was playable with a mouthpiece was $75. Yes, I ordered it. Yes, damn kids are spoiled. I guess I could learn to play...
Farmer who bought my van yesterday: “I’m not a mechanic either, I’m a parts replacer”
Oh's great! Just whats I needs. More sluts.
-Toki Wartooth
P3PPY said:Farmer who bought my van yesterday: “I’m not a mechanic either, I’m a parts replacer”
This needs re-quoting for awesomeness.
"I'm either going to win, or tear some cars up. It's a win-win for me." - James Taal
"Win, lose or indifferent, I'm throwing my helmet." - also James Taal.
"Situation report: We made the jumps too big!" - Cleetus
"I bought a drone. I successfully crashed it and then the batteries died"
"That pretty much sums up the drone experience"
"Even I know a $200 Alfa is a bad idea, and I'm high as E36 M3."
Volvo C30 passes us on I95
Me "Do you like that?"
Lil Stampie "No it looks way too Swedish."
Me "Well it is."
"I'm probably the slowest Miata here today. Definitely the ugliest."
"I like horses, but I want to ride a cow."
Stampie (FS) said:Volvo C30 passes us on I95
Me "Do you like that?"
Lil Stampie "No it looks way too Swedish."
Me "Well it is."
You raised him well.
(I do like C30s, but I mean he was able to articulate his opinion about a rather complicated automotive matter of taste in very few words, in a way that expressed that he knew exactly what he was talking about)
In reply to Stampie (FS) :
Oh come on! There is no such thing are "Too Swedish"! What's next: "Her ass is too firm"??
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