On a sign in town
" No matter how lazy you are, youll never be as lazy as the guy who named the fireplace"
On a sign in town
" No matter how lazy you are, youll never be as lazy as the guy who named the fireplace"
If you want to dance, you have to pay the fiddler.
Dante needs to update The Inferno to include a level for Audi wiring engineers.
NermalSnert said:If you want to dance, you have to pay the fiddler.
You also have to leave your friends behind.
“I have an eight inch tongue and can breathe through my ears” -The best pick up line I’d ever heard.
Wally said:“I have an eight inch tongue and can breathe through my ears” -The best pick up line I’d ever heard.
I assume you accepted?
My former father in law, complaining about a flat tire on his RX3 coupe.
Me: It's only flat on one side
Made him laugh
In reply to AngryCorvair :
I was just a witness, but the young woman it was directed at did.
“It’s the party popper of the developing world”- Richard Hammond on the AK 47.
"If you’re fat but you identify as skinny...does that make you a transfat." Someone on the Book of Faces.
"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."
-computer scientist and failed murderer Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut.
I think it's one of the best quotes ever and nicely captures an incredibly useful point, but the asshat it came from should be struck from the record, or at least not celebrated. I almost didn't attribute it, but settled for denoting the asshattery (or mental disease or what the berk ever). At least he failed to do his family in but got himself.
i work with automated machinery that has limit switches, my coworker asked me for an "auxiliary elastic limit switch repair kit". I handed him a rubber band.
My Old Man:
"If you're going to wish for a loaf of bread, why not wish for a Grocery Store?"
"If you were in the middle of the road, and a truck was coming at you, would you pray to God, or get out of the way" (maybe paraphrase)
"No good deed goes unpunished"
"Promoted to the full level of his incompetence" (Stolen from the Air Force, as well, they may all have been.)
"Nothing is as much fun as welding a jungle gym while climbing through it," Toyman01 about welding a cage in a race car.
Ya plant corn, ya get corn.
My dad's words of wisdom on fatherhood. berkeley I miss him.
Me: "Hey, look at that. It's only $XX. That's a good deal."
The Old Man: " Do you have $XX?"
Me: "No"
The Old Man: "Then it ain't a good deal."
"The more people I piss off, the less I've got to worry about knocking on my door" - An old friend back in the day.
The pecan pie looks like E36 M3. I think I’ll have that.
Pizza is like sex. Even when it's bad, it's still pizza.
"Mad how the object of golf is to play as little golf as possible "
And "crazy how the brain named itself" paraphrased from reddit.
Imagine an object that is expensive to own and maintain.
Appleseed: "That will make airplanes look cheap"
Everything I know about the Kardashians I learned against my will.
RevRico said:Ya plant corn, ya get corn.
My dad's words of wisdom on fatherhood. berkeley I miss him.
"You pay peanuts, you get monkeys". I think the boss is coming around on this.
"You need the kind of hammer where when you hit something, it stays hit" - Me on (I think) popping a ball joint about 18 years ago.
Never confuse knowledge with intelligence. -me.
That's what. - She
wvumtnbkr said:Never confuse knowledge with intelligence. -me.
That one works both ways.
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