Spatchcock

We had spatchcocked chicken for dinner. All that really means is that the backbone is removed and the keel is broken so the whole bird can be laid out flat in one piece.

But I decided that's not what "spatchcock" means.

I decided "Spatchcock" is a tough, veteran detective in '70s San Francisco (or maybe Chicago) who's out to clean up the mean streets. His partner is either laid up from being shot in the line of duty, or maybe thinking about getting out before that can happen. Usually in trouble with IA, or close to it. He wears a blued shortnose .44 in an inverted shoulder rig over a black turtleneck. His apartment is butch, but neater than you might think. No mustache, but some decent sideburns. About halfway through the third reel, he earns himself a 30-day suspension for being a little rough with a drug dealer that has City Hall connections through a crooked beat cop. On duty, he drives an unmarked Fury detective's special with the little pieplate hubcaps that fly off during the chase. It's anonymous dark blue-grey has a couple bullet holes in it. His PV is a pristine white-on-bottle-green '69 Camaro RS (convertible if it's Frisco, black vinyl hard top in Chitown). It's a little too flashy, but he likes it.

This just popped into my head fully formed. Seriously, it took me longer to type out than it did to think of it.

Sounds more like a chichen from the American Pie movie.

Not only do I completely agree with, understand and endorse this stream of consciousness, suddenly I don't feel quite as weird anymore.

I do wish I could control when I take these little trips, since many people are put off by someone who regularly breaks eye contact to stare off into space and smirk.

Margie

I read "Spatchcock" and somehow thought it would be an early German musket.

"The Hessians blasted the Turks with their Spatchcock muskets."

Sorry...the title made me giggle like a little girl...

My own personal stream of consciousness was a little darker, funnier to me, and completely unfit for reading here. Possibly anywhere.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: My own personal stream of consciousness was a little darker, funnier to me, and completely unfit for reading here. Possibly anywhere.

Do tell...

I'm in the right place.

You guys don't want to see what happens inside my brain.

Duke wrote: We had spatchcocked chicken for dinner. All that really means is that the backbone is removed and the keel is broken so the whole bird can be laid out flat in one piece.

Been doing that for like 20 years but I have only ever heard it called "butterflying" Regional thing maybe?

Marjorie Suddard wrote: Not only do I completely agree with, understand and endorse this stream of consciousness, suddenly I don't feel quite as weird anymore. I do wish I could control when I take these little trips, since many people are put off by someone who regularly breaks eye contact to stare off into space and smirk. Margie

I often stare into space and fold time, kinda like the Dune novels. Drives the boss nuts,not very endearing either.

Brett_Murphy wrote: I read "Spatchcock" and somehow thought it would be an early German musket. "The Hessians blasted the Turks with their Spatchcock muskets."

I could see that, too.

ditchdigger wrote: Been doing that for like 20 years but I have only ever heard it called "butterflying" Regional thing maybe?

Just a slightly different term for the same basic premise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spatchcock

What you call "spatchcock" (the chicken prep method), we call "BUTTERFLY".

Cumberbatch? Sherlock? I

Replace "spatch" with "snatch" and you have what SWMBO says a man has when hes being a little bit wussy.

Joey

spatchcocked chicken... first thought was Chester the Molester started stuffing chickens instead of turkeys

Just like McGarnicle!

When showing my wife how to drain the compressor at work, I correctly referred to the drain mechanism as a "petcock." Needless to say, it is now called a "spitcock."

ditchdigger wrote:

Duke wrote: We had spatchcocked chicken for dinner. All that really means is that the backbone is removed and the keel is broken so the whole bird can be laid out flat in one piece.

Been doing that for like 20 years but I have only ever heard it called "butterflying" Regional thing maybe?

STEP BACK. I'M GOING TO SPATCHCOCK THE berkeley OUT OF THIS SHRIMP!

Sir, you're under arrest for spatchcocking in public.