Watch any bad movies lately?

Not a canoe, but I figured why let the trend die?

I have a habit of leaving netflix on when playing games (this helps explain my driving to any Gran Turismo people who have seen me go straight off the track for no reason whatsoever) or doing whatever, and I ran across a few horrid movies that I watched for no other reason than I wanted the background noise.

Here's movie 1:

Invading aliens, space travel, fighting invisible monsters, lasers, it should have it all. There's an android doing his best Data impression, like the voice and everything. There's even a love interest thing between the alpha tough guy and the alien with the biggest rack. The sad thing is I think this movie was trying to be serious. The next wasn't. I hope.

Danny Trejo, an axe wielding, tattooed, bad-ass preist named Jesus who seems to only fight zombies shirtless and with a huge cross and chain around his neck. No, I didn't make that up. He's not even the main character, but I wish he was. Horrible CG for a newer movie. The chick on the left is the token skank, the one on the right is the token not-skank. Guess who lives. I don't think this one was as bad because I doubt the person making it was trying to be totally serious. If you watch it, notice how they introduce the character "Jesus" and then try and tell me it's a serious movie. You can't.

Yes, that's ANOTHER zombie movie with Danny Trejo, yes he's a badass again. I doubt he could be anything else. I saw him in an episode of "The Finder" where he was a cardinal or something. I can't remember the details because I was too busy waiting for him to start punching through people's skulls. He didn't. It turns out actual cardinals don't do that sort of thing...

Also, yes, it has Levar Burton. He plays a smart guy. French Stewart is in it, too. He has a chimp that -isn't- trying to rip anyone's faces off, despite being a chimp AND infected with the zombie virus.

Ok, I watched a lot of zombie movies. Don't judge me. Or do, whatever. I couldn't sum this one up any better than one review I found: "In the sea of absolute garbage zombie flicks, this one wasn't as bad." It's a bit slower, the zombies don't make sense (sometimes mindless zombies, sometimes scheming old ladies), and one chick character makes no sense at all.

If you're in the mood for terrible movies, give those a shot. If you have to pay even a penny to watch them, don't bother. Unless you like that sort of movie, then go nuts. You won't be disappointed.

Your turn. Horrible movies anyone?

We just watched The Tree Of Life , which is basically a 2-and-a-half hour, fairly churchy reprise of 2001 , except set in 1950s Texas and with even less plot and dialog. Had some interesting bits, maybe 20 minutes' worth, scattered throughout.

I don't think that's what you meant by "terrible movies", though, even though it was terrible.

I really enjoyed Shaun of the Dead, although I wouldn't say it's horrible. It does have zombies though!

Oh I mean all kinds of terrible movies. Terrible, ironic-terrible, comedy-terrible, terribad, all kinds.

I wouldn't call Shaun of the Dead terrible. More genius than terrible.

The last purposely bad movie we saw was Hobo With A Shotgun , which was entertaining.

My wife and I just watched Don Jon. Save yourself the viewing, it's about a hot headed porn addict that has relations with Scarlett Johannson and still is addicted to porn until he meets Julianne Moore, then starts having relations with her and then is cured of his porn addiction.

In reply to SyntheticBlinkerFluid:

That seems backwards to me.

Also, in a much earlier Don Juan (Mozart's opera version), he's never cured of his womanizing and instead of marrying a chick he knocked up, he goes to hell, escorted by the ghost of the pregnant lady's dead father reanimated in the form of a giant statue of himself. I think. Random factoid, that's one of the earliest occurrences of a bass male voice being used in opera as a non-buffoon-like character.

Worst movie ever:

There is no plot, just horrible acting.

The only 3 movies that I absolutely cannot sit through are Easy Rider, Napoleon Dynamite and that piece of crap with Frank N. Furter.

Anything else I can find redeeming features- I try to watch Flesh Gordon whenever its available.

In reply to Streetwiseguy:

Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Speaking of Trejo:

Is pretty bad / good / ? It's obviously meant to be bad, but I am not sure if that means it's good or not. Worth a watch though, very campy.

Started watching this:

but I could not get very far. Obviously low budget, but the killer was some of the camera work. They went with what my best guess would be called "drunk shaky" camera. I mean, not that the camera was shaking, but it was slowing drifting back and forth and moving behind things to put them in the way of the shot! I am sure the director thought it was real next gen type stuff! Argh.

That pile of excrement....

mtn wrote: Worst movie ever: There is no plot, just horrible acting.

Tommy W. was actually going on tour to different cities doing screenings, there is a funny youtube video where he gets hit in the face with a football. I found out about this movie watching rifftrax." oh Hi everybody" Bad movie great riff.

I would add Manos,Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, Plan 9, and birdemic

Oh, was Hobo With a Shotgun supposed to be bad? That explains a lot.

Last really really bad movie we saw was Gravity. What a POS. When she splashed down at the end, the thing fills with water and she barely manages to swim out of it, I was waiting for the sharks to start attacking. Everything else went wrong every single time anything happened, and I figured that the sharks just had to be waiting for her too. But, no sharks. That was disappointing. Next I expected a tiger to come out of the jungle.

I think she's a good actress and we generally like her movies, but that one was terrible. And it won prizes? Who paid for that?

I watched the first 20 minutes of Sharknado the other night. I really couldn't get thru it.

Death Race 3 was real bad.

Biker Zombies from Detroit. They're not zombies, and they're rarely in Detroit. Here's the trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgOJ4qFixkI

Dr. Hess wrote: ..Last really really bad movie we saw was _Gravity_...

It might help you to think about the alternate thinking of the movie: She suffocates half way (or earlier) through the movie and the rest is just hallucinations / dying.

I did not love the movie (way over done, not realistic, SOUND!!) but I am hopeful it might help foster some interest in the space program.

I gave up watching movies years ago. I wasted so much time on so many bad movies that it finally just turned me off all of them. The only way I watch something now is when one of my friends recommends something, of if I'm stuck on a plane. The plane movies are generally making me feel good about my decision.

If you would ask Mrs Woof, she'd tell you the life of Pi (plane movie) was one of the worst, and probably the stupidest movies she'd ever seen. I couldn't disagree too much, but I thought the effects were exceptional, and that made it watchable for me. That, and it was way better than the romantic comedy that was on before it.

This is another one to check out:

Again, not sure if it is supposed to be bad on purpose, but hot cars, hot chicks, violence...

...one scene involves a fight to the death WHILE F'ing a hot chick... yes, it's a bit over the top!

I just redboxed rapture- palooza, it wasn't horrible but it could have been so much better. It was one of those movies where if you've seen the three minute trailer, you've seen 90% of the good moments. I would recommend it if it gets to redbox but don't waste your 1.29 like I did lol.

mtn wrote: Worst movie ever: There is no plot, just horrible acting.

Try it with Rifftracks, then its hilarious.

aircooled wrote:

Dr. Hess wrote: ..Last really really bad movie we saw was _Gravity_...

It might help you to think about the alternate thinking of the movie: She suffocates half way (or earlier) through the movie and the rest is just hallucinations / dying. I did not love the movie (way over done, not realistic, SOUND!!) but I am hopeful it might help foster some interest in the space program.

Damn. I didn't see Gravity , but I kind of wanted to. I was hoping the cinematography would overcome the weak plot and bad science. Just as well that I missed it on the big screen, I guess.