Make time to check in on your friends | Column

The worst part of this job? It’s not the pace, the workload or the constant self-doubting. 

It’s writing obits for people you knew. In j-school, you learn that it’s going to be part of the drill. It’s one of those things that has to be done. 

I remember an assignment where we had to write our own obits. I know, a little ghoulish, but it taught us how to deal with the facts and the cards dealt our way. 

Late one evening, I got on-the-job training in such matters. I used to DJ at our college station–90.5 FM is WUOG, Athens–often doing a midnight to 3a.m. slot Wednesday nights. I loved having the place to myself: just me, the occasional caller and an entire library full of vinyl. 

Late one night I got a call from a buddy, the editor of the local music newspaper: A van carrying home half of The Jody Grind, an Atlanta band with a huge local following, was hit head-on. Performance artist and poet Deacon Lunchbox–Google him–was traveling with the band. There were no survivors. 

It wasn’t a rumor, and this was pre-internet. I was tasked with sharing the breaking news. 

This was personal, too. We saw the band every chance we got. While we weren’t on a first-name basis, perhaps they recognized us as regulars. 

But I did my job: I relayed the news. Then I put on their new CD and just sat there. So, this was life–and death. 

I have no idea how many obits I’ve written in my professional life. Many have been for legends in our industry. 

Kas Kastner ran Triumph’s factory competition department in the ’60s. Nissan would later tap him to run its racing program. Remember those Nissan GTP cars that dominated the ’80s IMSA scene? That was Kas’ work. 

Whenever we had a question for Kas, he never hesitated to offer an answer. Likewise, his emails ended with helpful advice: Never be beaten by equipment.

Kirk F. White’s name can be found on the cowl of the Ferrari 512M that Mark Donohue and David Hobbs drove to third place at Daytona in 1971. His partner in the effort was Roger Penske. 

Kirk more or less created the modern collector car auction and, as one of our locals, handled the concours judging at some of our $2000 Challenges. He was always quick to say hi, make pleasant conversation and, like Kas, answer all of our queries. 

Mike Cook worked in the PR departments for all the famed British brands: Triumph, MG, Austin-Healey, Jaguar and Land Rover. If I needed a photo from back in the day, he had it. He was always kind. 

And there have been many more: Porsche racing legend Vic Elford; Bruce Meyers, the father of the dune buggy; and Hans Mezger, the engineer responsible for so many iconic Porsche creations, including the brand’s famed, air-cooled 911 engine. The most recent one, I think, was for Dr. Fred Simeone, the neurosurgeon from a working-class neighborhood who amassed one of the world’s most important collections of race cars. 

I’ve also written obits for people I have worked with: Russel Tullius wrote a piece or two for us over at Classic Motorsports, while Gary Anderson led that title right after we purchased it. 

The one that might haunt me the most: the January 9, 2021, death of Howard Liebengood, 51. People knew him as Howie, and he died by suicide. He is survived by his wife and siblings. 

Howie was a U.S. Capitol Police officer assigned to the Senate Division. He was on duty January 6. According to various news accounts, he responded to the insurrection.

“My deepest sympathies to the families of Capitol Police Officers Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood,” tweeted former Secretary of State and current Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry. “During my last years in office, Howie was stationed next to one of our offices in the Russell Building - doors where everyone from school groups to protesters entered/exited.

“Howie always had a smile on his face, but he also showed great care for the safety of the young staff who worked behind our office doors. A tragic loss of two patriots who spent their careers protecting the halls of democracy.”

Why did I write an obit for Howie? He raced cars back in the day–formula cars as well the door-slammers that predated today’s IMSA Michelin Pilot Challenge. He had teamed up with Andy Lally, Randy Pobst and the Nonnamakers, all names with close ties to GRM. Andy and Howie paired up to win the 2000 Motorola Cup title in an E36-chassis BMW.

I met Howie at Sebring in the ’90s. He joined the Capitol Police force in 2005, and, sadly, we lost touch and never did the big social media reconnect. Somewhere at our office there’s still a manila file with his name on it. 

A quote from my friend Patrick, who hosts the “Crash & Ride” podcast about musicians’ encounters with anxiety and depression, keeps going through my head: Check in on your buds.

Real pubs have obits in the can. Sadly, we’re not that organized–and just don’t have that much extra capacity.

But we still drop everything to write them. Why? Put the answer somewhere between grief, closure and respect.

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