How do you handle your toy budget (and/or significant other)???

mndsm wrote: I'm fairly certain Mr. Comstock is an upstanding man ans just has an amazingly dark sense of humor.

I spent a few minutes searching old threads. It seems the '5 year ban' really does exist, but I can't find the reason behind it. I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time. I'm not sure if I'd have a reason to get up and move myself out of bed or do anything else if I was told I couldn't live my life the way I want to.

1) No. My income and other priorities (college for 2, retirement funds, living) limit my spending.
2) Badly but successfully.

To your general justifications and explanations...

1) I buy what I like. If it depreciates or increases in value - I typically don't care. I don't play with toys for financial reasons. They are emotional outlets and the cost of my sanity can not be exactly determined but it's been quite high at times.

2) The cost of tires for my race car eclipsed the cost of the car many times over. $1200 for tires that last 2 race weekends. I typically did 6 race weekends a season. A blown motor, trans, diff, or a wreck cost a lot... including the racing fees for the weekend. So does registration and insurance on a truck, trailer combo. So does diesel fuel. And race gas. And top end suspension. The car cost less than $12k to build. It probably cost north of $100k to run for 10 seasons. There is no way to "not count" that stuff. I've tried. I'd be better off assuming the "asset" didn't count and compiling the rest carefully.

3) Credit does not mean "can't afford". It usually means there are 4 guys on this team and we don't know the total costs and one of us needs to E36 M3 or get off the pot so it all goes on one card and everybody pays when it's done. Sometimes it means "I'm waiting on a customer to pay his bill but I need three sets of berkeleying tires now".

4) All money you don't need to survive is "extra". I'm here for a good time, not a long time. I spend accordingly.

Blaise wrote:

mndsm wrote: I'm fairly certain Mr. Comstock is an upstanding man ans just has an amazingly dark sense of humor.

I spent a few minutes searching old threads. It seems the '5 year ban' really does exist, but I can't find the reason behind it. I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time. I'm not sure if I'd have a reason to get up and move myself out of bed or do anything else if I was told I couldn't live my life the way I want to.

It's definitely a real thing. If you're really interested in my perspective on the whole situation I can PM you when I get some time.

Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote: In reply to mndsm: Thank you! Sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm talking to real normal people and not just the voices in my head

I'd trade the voices in my head for you people any day.

Blaise wrote: I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time.

I can think of one. If you are not responsible when it comes to spending money and/or time on your passion.

Robbie wrote:

Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote: In reply to mndsm: Thank you! Sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm talking to real normal people and not just the voices in my head

I'd trade the voices in my head for you people any day.

I've heard of people who said the voices in their head were out to get them, but this is the first time I've heard of the reverse.

Robbie wrote: I'd trade the voices in my head for you people any day.

There's a difference??

Yes, my wife is very concerned with spending on my hobbies. I have built up a decent nest egg of cash and my Rally Civic through flipping a WRX and parting out the parts car. We came to a mutual agreement that I would take $100/month from our family finances to do my rally stuff.

Now she has raised an issue with me flipping/parting out cars. Doesn't like the time and mess generated in the garage.

I got 99 problems . . . . . . well maybe 100, but .
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I fully expect that next year around this time, I will only have one. That will be the support payments that I will be making. I make 4 times what my wife makes, so they will be substantial, but they will be worth every penny to be done with her.

Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote:

Blaise wrote:

Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote: Yes. She completely shut down the car spending for almost five years. Now that I have a car I'm not allowed to do anything with it (really don't have the money anyway). And she threw a giant fit when I casually mentioned I wasn't too happy with the car I bought. I'm not entirely sure what I'm living for anymore.

Dude, what? Why? Is there a reason behind this? Or just 'because?' "Allowed????"

It's a long story that's been hashed out here probably too many times anyway. To sum it up I'm just a shadow of a man, slowly waiting for deaths cold embrace.

My long lost brother!

Sometimes it's that bad, other times it's not, but usually when car related, it's going to be a fight or at least ill-will. On rare occasion, she's ok with something, and she actually encouraged the purchase of the Miata. The fact that if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it doesn't help, but like everyone on here, my car passion was well known before hand. I've always put my family and responsibilities to the fore, but those things are not often appreciated or considered.

That roller coaster milieu exists in most other facets of our marriage as well. We have issues.

ProDarwin wrote:

Blaise wrote: I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time.

I can think of one. If you are not responsible when it comes to spending money and/or time on your passion.

You mean if it's affecting somebody else? AKA if you can't support your family. Yes, then I agree, but a 'ban?' Sigh...

Ian F wrote: Four years later, I'm still broken. So while I currently have more money than I ever thought I would, I wouldn't say I'm particularly happy.

I think this thread serves to show that there's plenty of ladies out there that either participate/encourage our hobby or at the very least tolerate it. Chin up, they're out there. Hell, last night my gf asked me why I don't go out and buy an FR-S. Nooooooooooo stop it lol

Also, Mr Nik/Bo/Comstock yeah you can PM if you like. Up to you to share your personal business.

ProDarwin wrote:

Blaise wrote: I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time.

I can think of one. If you are not responsible when it comes to spending money and/or time on your passion.

Originally it was certainly more of a time issue. Currently it's not her call, it's a money issue as our situation has dramatically changed for the worse from five years ago.

In reply to Blaise:

The ex- is into cars as well. She has 5 of her own right now and bought her house partly because it has a huge garage. She is the reason I got back into wrenching on cars with her '97 M3 (since replaced with a R53 MINI, 1800ES & Spitfire). She also owns a Launch Edition ND and a late model Grand Cherokee snow-beater. In a way, you can thank (or curse) her for me even being on this site. Everything was fine as long as I worked on HER cars and bought cars SHE liked.

The more difficult part is I have other interests besides cars. Specifically bicycling. Right now, I'm fairly convinced it'll be easier for me to find a woman who rides and will tolerate my car habit rather than the other way around.

Tiger Mom is in the final 5 weeks of her bachelors degree which will put her in a position for a 50% bump in pay within the next year. That'll be nice.

My son is inside the three year window of coming off my child support. My daughter is six years out.

The only car we have on payments is down to 15 months left.

Things are still tightish right now but getting better all the time and I can see them improving (knock on wood) over the remainder of my 40's.

I bought the Volt yesterday. Completely unnecessary in the scheme of things no matter how I twist it. Drove the kids to school with an average of 93mpg. Called Mrs. Deuce all excited and talking a mile a minute. Me being happy made her happy. I scrubbed the dickens out of the bathroom while she was at work. That will make her happy, which will make me happy.
Marriage is a team sport.

I'm in an oddly different scenario than most here in that I'm both the controller of the budget, and my wife and I have been on a single income (mine) for basically the last 10 years since we had kids.

Everything by default is "ours".

In that way, as I'm also the budget guy, I make sure everything is paid first, and I'm my own enemy in that I'm also cheap.

I've considered having my own "car fund" that I could use to flip cars and keep proceeds to myself and such to build up my own play money, but I've never felt right about that for some reason since she has no equivalent. I always put it back in the "our" fund, used it towards a family vacation, etc. She's finishing her Master's and may re-enter the work force next year so perhaps the concept of a dual income family will change that in the future. All that said, she doesn't give a crap when I drag home some other POS. haha.

In reply to Blaise:

PM sent. I've got no one else to talk to about it with besides you all so...

Blaise wrote:

mndsm wrote: I'm fairly certain Mr. Comstock is an upstanding man ans just has an amazingly dark sense of humor.

I spent a few minutes searching old threads. It seems the '5 year ban' really does exist, but I can't find the reason behind it. I can't think of any reason under which somebody else can ban you from your passion for an arbitrary amount of time. I'm not sure if I'd have a reason to get up and move myself out of bed or do anything else if I was told I couldn't live my life the way I want to.

Oh, I am well acquainted with the ban. I was around for it's inception sometime in...2012? I was referring more to his dark references in waiting to die and stuff. I've met the man in person. He's a good sort, if a bit beleaguered by disney.

Ian F wrote:

mndsm wrote:

Ian F wrote: Whatever she wanted, she bought with minimal consideration to my opinion. Whatever I wanted, "why the berk are you wasting your money on THAT???" It's one reason why I'm now single.

Between you and Sky_Render, that pretty much sums me up. Of course, she tried to murder my budget whenever she could by doing stupid E36 M3 like quitting her job, going on sick leave for phantom illnesses, etc. I still have the cars I wanted.

The somewhat annoying thing is... I make decent money; she makes more than I do by a fair chunk. Combined our household income would have put us solidly in very a comfortable position. The problem was her complete and total inability to ever bend from her way of doing things. I tried to bend for 11 years. Then I broke. Four years later, I'm still broken. So while I currently have more money than I ever thought I would, I wouldn't say I'm particularly happy.

Funny. She bled me dry, (Literally, I have like 400$ to my name right now, and I was pretty heavily invested as a single) got her kid and booted me at the firdt sign of greener pastures. I'm broke as berkeley now, and make like 9$ an hour. Never been happier.

mazdeuce wrote: I bought the Volt yesterday. Completely unnecessary in the scheme of things no matter how I twist it. Drove the kids to school with an average of 93mpg. Called Mrs. Deuce all excited and talking a mile a minute. Me being happy made her happy. I scrubbed the dickens out of the bathroom while she was at work. That will make her happy, which will make me happy. Marriage is a team sport.

So, you get your cash because your wife drills for oil. You use said cash to buy a car which will (theoretically) make you less dependent on the very thing that allows you to buy said car in the first place. Seems legit. I like deuce logic.

In reply to mndsm:

Never use your own product. Rule #1 of dealing.

Never get high off your own supply.

Nick (Bo) Comstock wrote: In reply to Blaise: PM sent. I've got no one else to talk to about it with besides you all so...

That's a rough spot to be in ( though this is a good place to vent...), feel free to ping me anytime, too.

And you could literally drive to my house, stay in the Grosh, and shoot the E36 M3 if you need to. Tell your wife you're helping me with something important. Just start her on the first page of the R63 thread and you'll get back long before she's done.

Mazdaduece gets an A+ for advice Marriage is indeed a team sport.

I used to joke about the closet test; lock her in the closet and if you come back in 3 hours and she says "can you come back in 45 minutes I almost got everything organized" marry her quick. My wife says she resembles this remark.

I'm one of the many lucky guys with a supportive wife and I'm also one of the guys who bribes their wife. This past year I made up a hole list of do dads that make her life easier.

NGTD wrote: Yes, my wife is very concerned with spending on my hobbies. I have built up a decent nest egg of cash and my Rally Civic through flipping a WRX and parting out the parts car. We came to a mutual agreement that I would take $100/month from our family finances to do my rally stuff. Now she has raised an issue with me flipping/parting out cars. Doesn't like the time and mess generated in the garage. I got 99 problems . . . . . . well maybe 100, but . . . . . I fully expect that next year around this time, I will only have one. That will be the support payments that I will be making. I make 4 times what my wife makes, so they will be substantial, but they will be worth every penny to be done with her.

actually flipping cars is the only time me and my wife have ever had an issue. She hated the extra time spent away from my kids. im currently on an agreed upon hiatus for 2 years when it comes to flipping cars but i seem to like my wife more then you like yours. I think the only reason it worked for me is she was more worried about my sons then time for herself. Goodluck!