ronholm wrote:mtn wrote: Have you been paying attention at all? He is looking for a good nightlife. That doesn't have to mean drunken party scene.Is that like me saying I am just a "little" gay if I were to stumble into the Buddies Bar? Dude is ah hurt'n... He needs to guard himself carefully! Besides guys... My parents bought me up in the RLDS Church... I was Mormon long before it was cool!
The berkeley?
Just stop.
ronholm wrote:RX Reven' wrote: “the more you suffer, the more it means you really care…right, yeah, yeah” My first wife switched teams. At the time, I thought she was just going through a phase but nope, all these years later, she’s still bouncing from girl to girl. Whatever, thanks for wasting seven years of my life, and for the record, cheating is cheating so choke on a pube you piece of trash.Whoa! Hold on there.... This is my fault because looking back I see how what I typed could have been taken to mean what you thought... But it wasn't my intent. Cheating is a bad deal... and I damn sure ain't going to say the right thing to do is to stay any more than it would be wise to say the right thing is always to pack it up and leave. My intention was to cause a few people in this thread to think more deeply about why a man or women should enter this type of relationship or engage in intimate behavior with each other. If you are doing so solely to serve your own needs you are not going to find happiness.. Plain and simple... Because you are going to attract a partner who is often like minded... and being married is hard!!!!! very hard!!! but also very worth it... My objections stem from this notion that multiple 'chicks' at the same time is somehow a better sexual experience than complete dedication and surrender to your committed partner..
Hi Ronholm,
I have no animosity towards individuals that choose alternative life styles but a promise is a promise and if you wake up one day realizing you made a mistake, you have the exact same responsibility as anyone else to compassionately work through the situation.
I shouldered the responsibility of working two jobs to provide for my “X” and her son from a previous marriage while taking a full course load in graduate school. At the time, I remember thinking something was wrong with my plumbing because I kept tasting salt while taking a shower. Later, I realized it was tears that were spontaneously flowing from the stress.
The thought of her letting me endure all of that to provide a safe foundation for her to go on to discover herself is disgusting.
Anyway, what worked for me was to write her off as trash and get on with my life…YMMV
I haven't read the whole thread, but I only see one person doing that.
Datsun1500 wrote: I love the fact that people are judging a relationship that lasted 20 years as "wrong" and "immoral"
All relationships end. Paraphrasing Dan Savage here, but society only considers a relationship a "success" if it ends with someone dead.
ppddppdd wrote:Datsun1500 wrote: I love the fact that people are judging a relationship that lasted 20 years as "wrong" and "immoral"All relationships end. Paraphrasing Dan Savage here, but society only considers a relationship a "success" if it ends with someone dying of natural causes or by accident/b].
Let's not give anyone any ideas here
Anyone care to discuss the pluses and minuses of polyamory in another thread that doesn't deal with Curtis's tragedy right now? I'm all for a discussion but it seems like we could all support Curtis here and discuss morality somewhere else.
mtn wrote: Have you been paying attention at all? He is looking for a good nightlife. That doesn't have to mean drunken party scene.
Amen. Curtis could be into LARPing and Friday Night Magic, or Indie covers at coffee shops and all-night BINGO. Portland has a wicked Nickel arcade!
The obvious solution to this is the Cold Steel Greatsword. You could LARP and solve other issues with it.
Javelin wrote:mtn wrote: Have you been paying attention at all? He is looking for a good nightlife. That doesn't have to mean drunken party scene.Amen. Curtis could be into LARPing and Friday Night Magic, or Indie covers at coffee shops and all-night BINGO. Portland has a wicked Nickel arcade!
Automotive LARPing or Fantasy LARPing? 
turboswede wrote:Javelin wrote:Automotive LARPing or Fantasy LARPing?mtn wrote: Have you been paying attention at all? He is looking for a good nightlife. That doesn't have to mean drunken party scene.Amen. Curtis could be into LARPing and Friday Night Magic, or Indie covers at coffee shops and all-night BINGO. Portland has a wicked Nickel arcade!
First one, then tha other.
curtis73 wrote:ronholm wrote: I have found quite often the people who claim their minds are the most open are often very closed up to ideas which differ from there own......To me, monogamy is strictly a social construct. If I were to start believing that monogamy were right, it would be closing my mind to an enlightenment I've known for two decades. I read all of that monogamy stuff and think, "isn't that quaint?" And saying that my "scene" is degenerate isn't a good way to win me over to your argument...
Things that make you go, hmm...
As has been noted by others though, in my quaint and unenlightened opinion, it sounds like you would enjoy the PNW if it comes to that...But as much as I like the Seattle area, I think Portland might have a more ideal vibe for you.
Ok, I'm gonna ask about the elephant- we're trying to find Curtis a spot to chill in an RV and be Curtis. When did this de-evolve into a flounder-fest about religion and moral choices? Pretty sure as long as Curtis isn't doing anything illegal, or trying to put it in ME, I don't really care what he does.
Has Atlanta been mentioned yet? Over on the east side is pretty open minded, mainly around Decatur. Good beer, good music scene, a few Pull-A-Part yards, and decent weather.
Curtis:
Some birthday present, huh? Hopefully you can find someplace to chill out for awhile so you can get your bearings and figure out what you want to do. It doesn't have to be the place. Just some environment where you can process everything, including all the good and bad advice you're receiving from every corner of your life. Figure out what you want to do and act upon it. We will support it.
Jerry From LA wrote: Curtis: Some birthday present, huh? Hopefully you can find someplace to chill out for awhile so you can get your bearings and figure out what you want to do. It doesn't have to be the place. Just some environment where you can process everything, including all the good and bad advice you're receiving from every corner of your life. Figure out what you want to do and act upon it. We will support it.
This. Believe me, you can't get over a 20 year relationship in a week even if you did get the E36 M3ty end of the stick. BTDT. It's taken me a couple of years to get my stuff together to the point where I can make reasonably intelligent long term plans.
mndsm wrote: Ok, I'm gonna ask about the elephant- we're trying to find Curtis a spot to chill in an RV and be Curtis. When did this de-evolve into a flounder-fest about religion and moral choices? Pretty sure as long as Curtis isn't doing anything illegal, or trying to put it in ME, I don't really care what he does.
I suggested Curtis was looking for trouble...
Then was informed freeing one's self from social constructs, and finding true enlightenment comes from banging chicks like Brigham Young
It rolled downhill from there...
Ok... I shouldn't be so snarky in this post... but dang.... I stand by my statement that the "open minds" are often the most closed..
And may each of you find what you are looking for... May you get exactly what you are willing to give in your relationships, and may it offer more in return than you imagined.
ronholm wrote: I stand by my statement that the "open minds" are often the most closed..
and yet...
Back on thread
Stay strong Curtis, we are just a PM away, if you can get to Ohio, you are welcome to ride to the Challenge with John and me.
ronholm wrote:mndsm wrote: Ok, I'm gonna ask about the elephant- we're trying to find Curtis a spot to chill in an RV and be Curtis. When did this de-evolve into a flounder-fest about religion and moral choices? Pretty sure as long as Curtis isn't doing anything illegal, or trying to put it in ME, I don't really care what he does.I suggested Curtis was looking for trouble... Then was informed freeing one's self from social constructs, and finding true enlightenment comes from banging chicks like Brigham Young It rolled downhill from there... Ok... I shouldn't be so snarky in this post... but dang.... I stand by my statement that the "open minds" are often the most closed.. And may each of you find what you are looking for... May you get exactly what you are willing to give in your relationships, and may it offer more in return than you imagined.
Oh I get what you're saying. Don't get me wrong there. I guess I fit more to the letter of the question. It's sorta like if someone were to ask "What Honda" this tells me they want a Honda. I dislike Hondas, so I probably won't be there, ya know? Not saying that your advice is poor or from a skewed perspective... it's just that- advice. Iono. Maybe I've had a migraine for entirely too long today, and we're just not going to get to an area where we get each other. I get what Curtis is after, a relaxed environment. The last thing I'd want to do after losing a 20 year relationship is move to an area that expects you to conform to a certain lifestyle. Hell, that's the last thing I want to do on a slow Tuesday, hence why I am unemployed. I guess I'm the type of person that really doesn't care what a person wants, as long as it's legal and doesn't give me the herp..... Different strokes for different folks.
ronholm wrote: I stand by my statement that the "open minds" are often the most closed..
How the berkeley did this thread get de-evolved?
The last thing I'd want to do after losing a 20 year relationship is move to an area that expects you to conform to a certain lifestyle.
Right! Like the hipsters..... 
Naw man... The places nearly everyone is talking about expect you to conform..
. The difference is what they epect you to conform to... Long as we have an understand 'bout that... It's all good.
Trans_Mario
And the pot/kettle thing.... 
hateful monogamous bigot said: Look man... Having an open mind means having an open mind!!!! Don't close your mind to old standards simply because you have some weird notion of what is right because you can call it open minded or progressive... I have found quite often the people who claim their minds are the most open are often very closed up to ideas which differ from there own and admitting that I fall into this trap often also.... Don't be like me... authentically open your mind..
I have tried to focus only on places that meet the criteria.
I find it interesting that so many people said Portland, or PNW, yet seemed to miss the part about "I hate winters". So, it's OK to suggest something that does not meet the criteria, as long as we are supportive of LGBT?
I'm sad that ronholm is getting beat up in this thread. I realize he is offering opinions that were not asked for, but I admire his courage to offer input that he honestly believes will help Curtis, not just help Curtis find trouble (which appears to be what some people are offering).
ronholm has offered a dissenting view. I respect that. Cutting him down for his courage in presenting it is much more intolerant than anything he has done.
In reply to ronholm:
I owe you a beer!
SVreX wrote: I find it interesting that so many people said Portland, or PNW, yet seemed to miss the part about "I hate winters". So, it's OK to suggest something that does not meet the criteria, as long as we are supportive of LGBT?
I find it interesting what passes as 'winters' for some people...As if their local definition is the only acceptable one. From an alternative point of view, one of the significant factors in my wife and I choosing to move to the PNW was the distinct lack of what we consider to be winter weather.
mndsm wrote: Ok, I'm gonna ask about the elephant- we're trying to find Curtis a spot to chill in an RV and be Curtis. When did this de-evolve into a flounder-fest about religion and moral choices? Pretty sure as long as Curtis isn't doing anything illegal, or trying to put it in ME, I don't really care what he does.
For once, I'm not trying to put it in anyone... and that's not like me 
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