Killing time waiting for my youngest son's band concert to start, my oldest and I ended up playing a rousing game of "Name Those Medals". Here's the background: Have you ever noticed how many medals North Korea's generals have for a nation that hasn't been to war in 60+ years? What are they possibly for? Pic for reference:
So we started coming up with what the various medals must be for.
Kazoo Jr's favorite: "Best Trump Impression"
A couple of my own contributions: "Survived the Purge of 2016", "Survived the Purge of 2017". "Top Secret Police Informant, December, 2015"
Interested in your contributions.
"Best Medals Collection 2018"
"Best Street Dancer - Freestyle Competition"
"Largest Hat"
Maybe they're like Boy Scout merit badges - they get one for camping, one for community service, and so on.
Chief hair stylist 2017. Most likely to be machine gun fodder 2019.
Sheriff of Montague County, Texas 1981
1st place! Standing at attention competition, yearly.
STM317
SuperDork
5/22/18 8:45 p.m.
DMZ "red rover" champ-2019
Driven5
SuperDork
5/22/18 8:48 p.m.
Alternatively, considering they've been 'at war' for 68 years, I'm almost more surprised at how few meals they have. 
First place brown noser, 2 dictatorships. (With epaulets) First place dog race.
Omg, this has my whole family laughing!
”Held a gun once”
”3rd place, chili cook- off 1992”
”Longest Netflix and chill session”
”My button is bigger”
”Touched a butt”
Most organized sock drawer
First place -shoe shine competition (multiple awards)
Neatest name in underwear waistband
Fewest pubic hairs in underwear drawer
Fastest brown nose cleanup
Best missile painter - 3rd award
Drove tank in parade without damaging anything
Stood guard duty on "Dear Leader's" birthday
How much does that cost weigh? Is that a weight vest for North Korean crossfitters.
Socialist Pie Eating Contest Finalist - 1987
Grassroots Motorsports Challenge Participant 2003
1993 John Q. Smith Award for Fantastic Mediocrity.
Unloaded the dishwasher without prompting - feb 10th, 1998
Hide and seek champion 1984-89
Third smartest kid, dumb row
Best military parade 2009-2010
I survived the death squads 2017
Fastest corn pass through
Tightest butt clench
Longest musical fart
Most family members assassinated
International diplomacy award (participation trophy)
Most creative medal placement, second place with oak leaf cluster.
Fewest meals missed in a starving nation, grand prize 2005.
Nouth Korean Hunger Games Champion
KyAllroad (Jeremy) said:
Fewest meals missed in a starving nation, grand prize 1982, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 20080, 2009,, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017......2018 presumptive winner.
Fixed the last one for you.
