Mercury Topaz Diesel

http://peoria.craigslist.org/cto/4042938895.html

I'm trying to imagine a more awful car, but I'm not having much luck.

Actualy as a 2 doop it looks kinda cool. It has possibilities. Already a stick, but the engine! What can be done to the Mazda oil burner? 60hp and 89lb/ft, it's crying out for a magic snail of awesome on the side to give it some more get up and go.

Tom_Spangler wrote: I'm trying to imagine a more awful car, but I'm not having much luck.

Nope, me either. It might be worse if it was an automatic. Anything that I can think of that would be worse to drive is some chintzy 40-year-old Euro crapbox, and even that would have enough personality to make it more entertaining than a Topaz diesel.

I am intrigued by this feature, though: "AM/FM stereo with cassette player and front and rear defrost". Oxford Comma FTMFW.

Needs more SKYACTIV-D.

I will take this over a Chevette Diesel automatic any day of the week.

There, I found something more awful.

I'll wait for ben to comment, but it seems to me like you'd be able to drop an F2T in their without much trouble, since I know that said F2T started life as an oil burner....

F2T and R2 diesel share blocks for the most part.

Believe you could dump a GC 626 GT motor in this with little trouble. JamesMcD would probably know a bit more.

mndsm wrote: I'll wait for ben to comment, but it seems to me like you'd be able to drop an F2T in their without much trouble, since I know that said F2T started life as an oil burner....

Yes, drop an F2T into a car that's uglier, heavier, has worse suspension and a higher CoG than a Probe/MX6. Makes sense.

Tom_Spangler wrote:

mndsm wrote: I'll wait for ben to comment, but it seems to me like you'd be able to drop an F2T in their without much trouble, since I know that said F2T started life as an oil burner....

Yes, drop an F2T into a car that's uglier, heavier, has worse suspension and a higher CoG than a Probe/MX6. Makes sense.

Way funnier, though!

Tom_Spangler wrote:

mndsm wrote: I'll wait for ben to comment, but it seems to me like you'd be able to drop an F2T in their without much trouble, since I know that said F2T started life as an oil burner....

Yes, drop an F2T into a car that's uglier, heavier, has worse suspension and a higher CoG than a Probe/MX6. Makes sense.

Tom, stop trying to apply logic. This is GRM, this is an ugly obscure vehicle with an oil burner. No matter what negativity you bring to this thread, you are wrong

I've spent too much time here because even I think this is awesome

Swank Force One wrote:

Tom_Spangler wrote:

mndsm wrote: I'll wait for ben to comment, but it seems to me like you'd be able to drop an F2T in their without much trouble, since I know that said F2T started life as an oil burner....

Yes, drop an F2T into a car that's uglier, heavier, has worse suspension and a higher CoG than a Probe/MX6. Makes sense.

Way funnier, though!

This. I mean, what's funnier than a wicked turbo Topaz? I mean, this is the same group that worships the ground a seriously turbocharged Dodge Aries drives on.

I crushed a diesel tempo a few years back......still don't regret that one.

I think some of you are too young to bear the scars of having to live with some of these awful cars from the past. It seemed like everyone I knew had a Tempaz in the late 80s and early 90s, so I know of what I speak. Ade gets a pass because he was still in Jolly Olde Englande driving Hillman Imps or whatever.

I'd love to have that. It'd look great next to my EXP.

Yeah, my dad had one when I was in Jr High. Awful is too nice a term for this thing. ANd that High CG is no joke...dog runs out into street, slam on brakes, feels like the car will flip...

I can't say for sure, but if the new one I saw nearly 30 years ago on a central Texas Ford-Mercury dealer's lot was anything to go by, diesel Tempo and Topazes were THE most expensive versions of this car you could buy back then.

For some screwy reason, every one of these that I have ever seen was "fully equipped", with EVERY possible factory option. It was like Ford wanted to make you pay (dearly) for making them offer such a dumb and pointless engine. But hey, Ford also offered AWD Tempo and Topazes, so go figure.

BTW, think about it, most new cars have a front and rear defogger/defroster but back in the '80s you didn't always get the rear one. It took N.Y. and a few other states leaning on Detroit to (FINALLY) make rear defrosters standard equipment.

Now all we need is some die-hard Tempo/Topaz diesel fan to come regale us with their merits...like the harley threads (http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/sprockets/opinions-on-old-sportsters/11916/page1/ and http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/sprockets/nice-little-project-or-trip-into-hell/69514/page1/)

I grew up around tempos. They were terrible. I still would rock a turbocharged one- because everyone else knows how terrible they are, and that's where the funny resides.

EvanR wrote: I will take this over a Chevette Diesel automatic any day of the week. There, I found something more awful.

The Chevette is slower, true, but it's RWD...

IIRC...there was a KLZE swapped one floating around somewhere...

I'd probably rock one...if it were a wagon.

In reply to integraguy:

If only they'd offered AWD diesel 5-speed Topazes and Tempos imagine what a wonderful world we all could live in.

My sister had a Tempo as her first car - she got it from her husband's aunt or something. Ex-rental, terrible car. She called it "J.To".

She really doesn't like cars. I blame the Tempo. I'm trying to save her son from suffering the same fate.

Father also had a Tempo. Perhaps even worse than the diesel. His was the V6 automatic with that bizzare differential ratio that had the thing at redline doing about 70 mph. Got something like 8 miles to a gallon. Remarkably awful to drive. It was wound up and screaming at 40 mph.

My first car as a teenage was a 1987 Ford Tempo with the four cylinder and the manual transmission. It was a hand-me-down from my parents. While I loved it because of the freedom it represented, even as a first car, I knew it was pure E36 M3.

But because of what it represents to me and because it is such pure E36 M3, I always wanted to make one fast. I know SHO swap have been done. That doesn't fix the crappy suspension, but at least it would make it fast in a straight line.

Does it make me weird?