How do you describe autocross?

It happened again last night...

I drove Tom Celica over to the store to pick something up. I don't drive it a lot, but this is like a mile and a half trip. I walk out of the store and there's another mid 40s looking guy checking out the car. Cool, I love to talk about it. We had a good time chatting and the inevitable topic came up.

"We're building a race car"

"Oh? What kind of racing do you do?"

"Autocross"

"What's that"

"Well, we kind of race around traffic cones in big parking lots"

Then the look. The look that says "that's cute, I thought you meant 'real racing'".

Okay, I need a better description. How do you answer the question?

What is autocross?

I usually say something about taking a road racing course and squashing it onto a big parking lot, then maybe add something about running one car at a time against the clock, depending on whether the listener is looking more bored or more worried about their car...

Happens to me all the time. I just describe it as a course set up with cones that is used to do timed runs/time trials.

I call it drag racing with turns and cones. Go balls out as fast as you can. If i'm talking to flatbillers and brotatoes, I call it time attack in a parking lot. Gotta break it down.

Cones in a parking lot.

I tell people that I stand in the sun all day and, every once in a while, I drive as fast as I can around a bunch of cones for about a minute or so.

I don't understand why I do it either...

Woody wrote: I tell people that I stand in the sun all day and, every once in a while, I drive as fast as I can around a bunch of cones for about a minute or so. I don't understand why I do it either...

Oh, I know why I do it. The minute of driving is awesome, but I have a blast hanging out with a bunch of other car folks.

How about this-

"If you have to ask, you'll never know"

If you think explaing autoX is bad, trying to explain rallyX to people is worse. People see the 300zx with racing numbers on it, and they ask "what kind of racing do you do?" Oh my, you should see the blank stares and glazed over looks when I tell them that it races off-road.

I explain rallycross the same way as autocross...but on dirt/gravel/fields.

"no, not that thing with the dirt bikes"

"better than drag, not as good as rallycross"

"driving competition for those of us who can't afford trackdays"

"miata central"

Aeromoto wrote: If you think explaing autoX is bad, trying to explain rallyX to people is worse.

"I rallycross"

"Oh, what's that?"

"It's like autocross on dirt"

"What's autocross?"

I see what you mean.

Woody wrote: I tell people that I stand in the sun all day and, every once in a while, I drive as fast as I can around a bunch of cones for about a minute or so. I don't understand why I do it either...

This. The only thing to add is, "when I do get to drive I change directions every 1.5 second or so."

Aeromoto wrote: How about this- "If you have to ask, you'll never know" If you think explaing autoX is bad, trying to explain rallyX to people is worse. People see the 300zx with racing numbers on it, and they ask "what kind of racing do you do?" Oh my, you should see the blank stares and glazed over looks when I tell them that it races off-road.

I just say "it's like X-games where the subarus are jumping dirt piles, but not as hardcore" and people seem to get that and think I"m a badass

If they only knew the truth...

irish44j wrote: I just say "it's like X-games where the subarus are jumping dirt piles, but not as hardcore" and people seem to get that and think I"m a badass If they only knew the truth...

I think you're on to something.

"What's autocross?"

"You know those Ken Block videos? It's a lot like that, only less drift- you have to do it as fast as possible. I'm kinda like Ken Block, only fast."

Sounds a lot better than what I have now. Somehow you gotta leave the cones out. That just sounds wussy. Changing it to "pylon" doesn't really help. That just gets you "what's a pylon?" And that's a damn good question. Who came up with pylon? What the heck is a "pylon" anyhow? That can't be cool.

Let's see what wikipedia has to say...

"Aircraft pylon, a vertical structure used to mount external equipment such as engines and weapons..."

I was wrong. That is cool. "We race around vertical structures used to mount external equipment such as engines and weapons..."

I describe it as "light time trial racing". It sounds awesome to those who don't care to ask any more. Those that care enough to ask further questions usually get a video link sent to them. After that, there's a 50/50 mix of "That was awesome, but I can't believe you do that with your car" and "BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Really, you spend a whole Saturday on that?!?"

Javelin wrote:

Missing the 7th one-"What my wife thinks I do (see: what I really do)...

Tell them you do Sports Car Club of America Autocross Racing (sounds official.)
If they want more then tell them that unlike drag racing which is in a straight line, this is similar with a timed slalom course.

GTB_ZR1 wrote: Missing the 7th one-"What my wife thinks I do (see: what I really do)...

...but with an even bigger pile of cash and a hungry, poorly dressed kid who looks neglected...

kazoospec wrote: I describe it as "light time trial racing". It sounds awesome to those who don't care to ask any more. Those that care enough to ask further questions usually get a video link sent to them. After that, there's a 50/50 mix of "That was awesome, but I can't believe you do that with your car" and "BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Really, you spend a whole Saturday on that?!?"

and never, never, never mention anything about "working the course," thus inviting ridicule when you have to admit "yeah, we just stand around in a parking lot, in the hot sun, for hours, waiting for someone to knock over a cone (or pylong) so we can run out and pick it back up, or call it in on a little radio."

Road course in a parking lot with cones and people still give you the strangest look.

I also like to send them a link to a vid of european rallycross, and say "US autocross is just like that"

I have experienced equally condescending attitudes from amateur drag racers, stock car racers and SCCA road racers about autocross.

On the other hand, my dental hygienist thinks I'm a race car driver.

My stock answer is simply: it is a low risk way to go as fast as you possibly can, while at the same time wasting huge amounts of money and time.

Ask them how many miles they get out of a set of tires? Compare to r-comps (in miles).

I don't consider autocross to be racing, but if anybody asks me, I tell them it's like road racing, but against the clock. Don't mention the cones, or parking lots. It just confuses them.

Zomby woof wrote: I don't consider autocross to be racing,

Hey now, them's fightin' words. Next thing you know you'll be telling me my roll barred Miata isn't a "real race car". Please leave our illusions of awesomeness alone.