I have an idea for a new motorsport. Tell me why I'm nuts.

So here's my idea. Why won't this work?

1. Attach casters to the front of a concession kart so that the grip level of the front tires can be adjusted in increments 1-6. Like this thing but for karts ( https://www.skidcar.com/index.php )

2. For each heat, drivers roll two dice: Left and Right. Numbers indicate the grip level. 1 being almost none, 6 being full grip.

3. There are three heats, time attack style, lowest combined time wins

4. Each driver has a "spotter" whose job is to "encourage" them as they drive. Basically a heckler. Comments scored by judges/commentators (myself and my wife)

5. There are 3 cups to be won: Driver, Team, and Spotter

Whatcha think?

The Restaurant Owners Association of Death to the Competition would give the local council free desserts after their petty power lunches to quash this crowd pleasing spectacle.  

Bonus points for items sold during race?  

Can I buy some pot from you?

In reply to Driven5 :

I mean, it's legal now so, maybe I can buy some new jokes for you?

IIRC, SCCA tried this already "Spec Hot Dog Cart". But there was an "incident" involving sauerkraut and the illegal use of mustard.

And for all you kids out there. This idea is why you stay away from them crack pipes.

L5wolvesf said:

And for all you kids out there. This idea is why you stay away from them crack pipes.

Wow. The Hot Joke Cart last delivered here around 2005, huh?

L5wolvesf said:

IIRC, SCCA tried this already "Spec Hot Dog Cart". But there was an "incident" involving sauerkraut and the illegal use of mustard.

 

This is why the SCCA needs to get with the times. The mustard and kraut were a personal choice, and had no effect on the performance of the cart- if anything, they made it slower!
They're just a bunch of hidebound rules lawyers.

I always thought there should be a one handed NASCAR race with a cell phone taped to the other hand.  
 

Automatic trannys would be allowed.  

In reply to jhodgson :

Don't ask the question if you might not like the answer.

I think you might be confusing some people with the term "concession kart." I initially assumed you meant like a sidewalk hot dog stand. Searching for "concession kart" leads me to believe this is a term applied to the kind of go-karts you find for rent at small kart tracks. Is that the case?

I bet you'd get a different kind of response if you said "go-kart" instead of "concession kart."

I'm not sure I understand the objective here. Is this supposed to rejuvenate the world of rental go-karts? I think go-karts are plenty fun as they are.

How about a go kart that has 2 (electric?) motors, 1 for each rear wheel.  No rear axle.  Each wheel moves like a caster, but has a rod sticking forward off it so you can steer it like the rudder of a  boat (one in each hand).  Thumb or twist throttle on each rod.  Front wheels are fixed.  Each front wheel has a brake and left foot controls left brake, right controls right.  

I think instead of randomly choosing grip based on dice roll, it should be more like mario cart where the people at the back get more grip and the people at the front get less. Also, have the grip be remotely controlled, so if someone gets a bit too rubby you can lower their grip as punishment.

I still think my favorite idea for alternative motorsport is the old "two drivers per car - one does the footwork and the other the hand work" from top gear. You could do more restrictive classes like blindfolding one driver and plugging the other's ears. 

dculberson said:

I bet you'd get a different kind of response if you said "go-kart" instead of "concession kart."

Oh, sorry. I thought y'all would know that. My bad.

Yeah, a concession kart is what you get if you rent a kart at a kart track or at your local fair or whatever. It's not a shifter kart, so it's not too powerful. It  has only one gear. It's not a yard kart, so no knobby tires. It has slicks, single seat, rear drive, rear brake only, some sidepods and front/rear structure to help in case you stuff it or get punted off track. Should have better safety stuff than the yard karts I grew up crashing and flipping.

Like this: http://gokartsusa.com/voodoo-commercial-gokart.aspx

If you go to a kart track and rent a kart that's most likely what you get.

slowbird said:

I'm not sure I understand the objective here. Is this supposed to rejuvenate the world of rental go-karts? I think go-karts are plenty fun as they are.

Karts are fun, I agree. I want to make something silly enough to make a series out of. Like Lemons.

The goals are:

1. Have a laugh
2. Eliminate as many factors as possible between driver, luck, and lap time. Same weight, same vehicle, same track, same time (close).
3. Maybe eat some barbecue

OK... that clears things up a lot. I'd been picturing a hot dog stand race. I don't think the combination of random grip and lowest time wins would go over well. Go karts with PVC pipe wrapped around the rear tires, keeping everything equal for everyone, might be a better option.

In reply to MadScientistMatt :

That's why 3 heats. Luck is a factor but we also get to see drivers deal with varying levels. So it's really, really about driving. Not your blueprinted longblock, e.g., but driving.

You'd roll for your grip, then get an out lap, a test lap, then your flying lap. No take-backsies.

PVC pipe thing would be amusing but karts drive and brake with the rear. Not having brakes at all would be... troublesome.

You want to eliminate as many variables as possible...........by giving each driver different levels of grip? Am I misreading this?

I know that some kart tracks paint the inside line to reduce grip and allow for slippery sliding fun...what if we paint the whole track? Wait, what if we paint the tread of the tires?

I think it's awesome and I would partake.

The best motorsports thing I have ever done was a legitimate Mario kart race.

Everybody dressed up as characters from Mario kart and went racing.

The fun thing was that everybody had water balloons in a bag on your lap.  You could throw them at your fellow racers.

This was awesome for 2 reasons...

1) if you hit somebody with a water balloon at 40 mph, it hurts!

2) if you hit their tire or just in front of their tire, they WILL spin out!  It was amazing how effective it was.

3) half the time, you dropped your own water balloon and spun yourself out.

slowbird said:

I know that some kart tracks paint the inside line to reduce grip and allow for slippery sliding fun...what if we paint the whole track? Wait, what if we paint the tread of the tires?

I'm not a big fan of track modifications except for safety. I think it's weird that Formula E has "powerups" for example. Also think it's weird that they do social media based in-race boosts but that's another matter.

I think if you get into modifying tracks you end up with a show like Hyperdrive. I'm more interested in making something silly but does kinda require some knowledge skill. Like "Nailed It," the baking show but motorsport.

In reply to wvumtnbkr :

That sounds like a BLAST!

what about weight classes?

might need some work on that angle.

In reply to jhodgson :

Welcome to this forum man. Sometimes a thread sounds like a great idea until these guys come along and bust your balls. You'll learn quick to keep your head down, and just ponder life to yourself. Lol. 
 

oh, and welcome. We sure have a lot of new folks around here lately. And some of the old guys have stopped commenting entirely. 

nutherjrfan said:

what about weight classes?

might need some work on that angle

I would want everyone ballasted up to weigh the same and I'm myself a... uh, gentleman of size, if you will.

So if we get a 5'2" 120 driver and a 6'1" 240 driver I guess driver A is gonna have a load of ballast.