Lost the support of my wife :(

And people think I'm terrible for viewing women as only good for one thing at this point in my life.

spitfirebill wrote: Buy her some kinky lingerie and tell her its for the Las Vegas weekend. Either way, you win.

you win the thread

"you put autocrossing ahead of everything".

Youse in trouble.

Here's the solution... maybe, in the jumble.

dnomaid.

m

Thanks for the input. I think I need to talk about the car less, keep the money I spend to myself and go along with whatever trip she wants to go on just one time to show her that she is more important to me than autocross. There is still a part of her that is excited about SCCA Springnationals in May and I noticed that she was asking the local club about lapping sessions at the beginning of May so maybe all hope is not lost. I have to also make sure she is comfortable in the car, that it's fun to drive and won't give her headaches. Wish me luck

Getting my wife and son running has helped a ton in this department. It is now a family hobby. My 12 year old daughter just got an invite to co-drive a jr. cart, so we'll all be running soon.

So when I spend every night for a week over at the workshop working on the car, I'm giving my time for the family. Well, to some degree anyhow. Sure has helped on the domestic front though.

On the money thing- I got a nice bonus at work last year. We agreed to put some of it in a checking account just for the project. So I can spend it how I see fit and not have to worry about it (other than staying within the budget). That helped a lot too. It doesn't feel like real money - or at least it feels like money that was already spent.

You didn't lose her support. From everything I've been able to glean after reading all your posts and watching the YouTube videos, she enjoys the car and the sport. She just enjoys it less than you do. My wife enjoys backpacking and camping but every vacation cannot be that. So reserve some part of your downtime for just you and your wife. Time is just as important as money. Maybe even more so. This will pay dividends down the road.

Clearly something is annoying her about you, the car or both. My feeling is that it is the money, or as everyone has stated, the time you spend with it. Don't wait, have a serious talk now and find out what is wrong. If you don't, your life can get much worse. For what it's worth, my wife absolutely refuses to ride in any project car I have, claiming not only the gas smell, but also the possibility of getting wet when it rains. Before we were married she thought they were ok, but now, not so much. She tolerates them only to the point they can stay in the garage.

Contrary to what they may say, women that will take a sporty car over luxury are few and far between. But I really think your problem is not about your car, but her perceptions of another problem.

loosecannon wrote: Thanks for the input. I think I need to talk about the car less, keep the money I spend to myself and go along with whatever trip she wants to go on just one time to show her that she is more important to me than autocross. There is still a part of her that is excited about SCCA Springnationals in May and I noticed that she was asking the local club about lapping sessions at the beginning of May so maybe all hope is not lost. I have to also make sure she is comfortable in the car, that it's fun to drive and won't give her headaches. Wish me luck

I had to reach an agreement with the wife that not all of my extra cash goes to cars, but that some of it goes toward vacation as well.

That solved her big issue with the vehicle expenditure.

She just confessed that she might just be scared to drive it and might be enthusiastic once she has driven it. I think the car is a sweetheart to drive and am confident enough to drift it around the kart track, but she hasn't got that confidence yet. For the record, the car was paid for almost entirely with my own money, not our money. There is nothing we don't have or places we don't go because of the money I spent on the car.

Jerry From LA wrote: You didn't lose her support. From everything I've been able to glean after reading all your posts and watching the YouTube videos, she enjoys the car and the sport. She just enjoys it less than you do. My wife enjoys backpacking and camping but every vacation cannot be that. So reserve some part of your downtime for just you and your wife. Time is just as important as money. Maybe even more so. This will pay dividends down the road.

this is the answer right here. my g/f likes camping and offroading, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to stay at the Ritz sometimes too.

Quit autocrossing, sell the car, take up strip-clubbin'.

Silly Boy. There is no "own money". There is "her money" and there is "our money".

Dude, she drives a BMod car when you're not looking. She's not afraid of squat.

spitfirebill wrote: Silly Boy. There is no "own money". There is "her money" and there is "our money".

and "our money" is really "her money" that she lets you think is "our money"

BBsGarage wrote:

spitfirebill wrote: Silly Boy. There is no "own money". There is "her money" and there is "our money".

and "our money" is really "her money" that she lets you think is "our money"

This is definitely not true, we each pay towards our mutual expenses a percentage proportional to our individual incomes. Whatever she has left over is hers to burn (the casino, shoes, purses, clothes) and mine to burn (race car). I have no idea how much money she has socked away and she has no idea what I have in my account or on my credit card. It's a system that really works.

My wife has never been interested in my car/bike hobbies.

I got her to go for a full season and realized that I liked it a lot better when she wasn't interested.

loosecannon wrote:

BBsGarage wrote:

spitfirebill wrote: Silly Boy. There is no "own money". There is "her money" and there is "our money".

and "our money" is really "her money" that she lets you think is "our money"

This is definitely not true, we each pay towards our mutual expenses a percentage proportional to our individual incomes. Whatever she has left over is hers to burn (the casino, shoes, purses, clothes) and mine to burn (race car). I have no idea how much money she has socked away and she has no idea what I have in my account or on my credit card. It's a system that really works.

Hey, you stole our system. I however don't have to include money I make on the side doing odd auto repair jobs. It comes from cars it goes back to cars. Other agreement we have is if she invests in a car and I turn a profit she gets her original money back. Shocked her the first time I did that!

loosecannon wrote: She just confessed that she might just be scared to drive it and might be enthusiastic once she has driven it. I think the car is a sweetheart to drive and am confident enough to drift it around the kart track, but she hasn't got that confidence yet. For the record, the car was paid for almost entirely with my own money, not our money. There is nothing we don't have or places we don't go because of the money I spent on the car.

In the future, let her have a turn while it's running? Kart track might not be the right place, but even a recon ride down the street and back might have made her feel better.

For the moment, a weekend away from the sport might be a good idea. Just my opinion, tho.

In reply to Zomby woof:
My experience exactly. She was interested in autocrossing until after the first baby, and lost interest in my racing as soon as said baby was old enough to go with me without her to babysit.

Wait, hold on here a sec... am I the only one still stuck on this comment!?!???:

loosecannon wrote: How do I get her excited about racing this car again?

Again? AGAIN? Damn man, if she was ever excited about racing the car, I don't know how'd you let it get to the point where you'd f!@# that up! Seriously, my wife has rarely, if ever, and even then, just barely tolerated my little race-capades at all.

FIX IT MAN!

Just buy her a damn miata already. You both win or something. It's a lot more chick* friendly than a built MG.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
NOTHING, you done told 'er twice!

*Disclaimer: Don't call em' chicks... broads hate that!

loosecannon wrote: She just confessed that she might just be scared to drive it and might be enthusiastic once she has driven it. I think the car is a sweetheart to drive and am confident enough to drift it around the kart track, but she hasn't got that confidence yet. For the record, the car was paid for almost entirely with my own money, not our money. There is nothing we don't have or places we don't go because of the money I spent on the car.

Hey, that reminds me of poSSum and his wife and HUGGRR (the car). She was skeerd of it and never did try turning a wheel in anger in it (the wimp).

Seriously speaking for a moment here. Take more walks with your wife. Just do nothing with her. Go to the mall and window shop. Simply put rediscover what you had before the car.

I'm still single so I have no relationship advice to give but yea, it might not be a bad idea to step back and reevaluate your autocross addiction in relation to everything else.

I agree, it's fun but it shouldn't dictate your decisions with other things in your life. Balance and all that stuff.

Moving_Target wrote: I'm still single so I have no relationship advice to give but yea, it might not be a bad idea to step back and reevaluate your autocross addiction in relation to everything else. I agree, it's fun but it shouldn't dictate your decisions with other things in your life. Balance and all that stuff.

Who let this guy in?

The whole point is to figure out how to make life work around your autocross addiction. That's how you "win"!