Nefarious Engineering, ease of assembly your ass

Take the lower radiator hose clamp on my car, an answer. It has this latch. I guess if you use the cable hose clamp tool to squeeze it and push the tab up with a screwdriver it will latch and you can slide it off. I got the latch to engage once. When I was putting the new hose on, seriously. It is directly below the shiny screw on the clamp holding the intake onto the turbo. Do not have any photos with the intake removed, or of the actual clamp, because I was too busy cursing at it to pick up the camera. AEM intake, with the OEM piece, no way you even see this. The latch was very frustrating.

Another example: This is the clip to keep the lower radiator hose and the hose that goes to the power steering pump. It is on the same side as the exhaust, thankfully on the outside, but still, you know it has to be brittle. On L, one plastic bit goes between the two on the R. Note how they are both barbed. WTF, why?

Then I saw the thermostat assembly for a MINI. Apparently you replace ALL this, if the thermostat that is molded into it goes bad.

Hearts are less complicated.

German engineering at its worst.

(Adds Mini to the never buy list.)

For some reason the first two pictures aren't appearing for me. Unfortunately I am very familiar with the MINI t-stat assembly replacement.

These are a necessity for pinch clamps-

The clamps on the MINI have a great/horrible feature on them too. There is a tab that locks the clamp open, which is great when you want to remove it and use the pliers on the next clamp. The damn thing is near impossible to release when you want to put the clamp back on the hose though.

That is the type of clamp they use for the lower rad hose where it attaches to the block on a Miata. Only clamp like that on the car, near as I can tell. May have to get me one of those cable clamp squeezer doo dads, for next time. I did purchase the assortment of long reach pliers at HF. Straight, bent and right angle for like $11.

Toyman01 wrote: German engineering at its worst. (Adds Mini to the never buy list.)

Well I had the desire to own one. Not so much anymore. I thought moving the power steering pump out the way to get to the thermostat on the MS3 was a hassle.

In reply to NEALSMO:

That's a tool I never knew existed, but definitely need to buy!

In reply to NEALSMO:

I guess I'm never using duckbill pliers again... I'm always careful to reclamp in a position where I can get to the clamp tabs again after I get them off the first time.

Those look awesome (also wish I had them for the damn washing machine pump.)

I've had one of those clamp tools for many years. Worth every penny.

I have learned if you do it the way it was intended to be done on the production line things like that are extremely easy.

Repairing it quickie style not so much.

Toyman01 wrote: German engineering at its worst. (Adds Mini to the never buy list.)

I've been wanting a MINI forever. Then I regain my sanity.

almost like they are trying to make it never fixable. "well, the thermostat is dead. Time for a new car, it's easier this way."

Flight Service wrote: I have learned if you do it the way it was intended to be done on the production line things like that are extremely easy. Repairing it quickie style not so much.

Pardon me?

Toebra wrote:

Flight Service wrote: I have learned if you do it the way it was intended to be done on the production line things like that are extremely easy. Repairing it quickie style not so much.

Pardon me?

I guess he means it's easier if you start with the car disassembled.

Toebra wrote:

Just out of curiosity, what does the dealer charge for this hideous abomination?

Toebra wrote:

Flight Service wrote: I have learned if you do it the way it was intended to be done on the production line things like that are extremely easy. Repairing it quickie style not so much.

Pardon me?

The engine is hard to work on because you're trying to work on it while it's still in the car.

Those spring clamps on the Miata cooling system (and the entire intake on a Mazdaspeed) are actually very effective at keeping a constant clamp with varying heat levels. Worm clamps have a tendency to loosen.

As always, the right tool makes a huge difference.

I think the MINI T-stat assembly is about $125. One look under the hood of a MINI was enough to make me lose interest in buying one.

The spring clamps are better than the worm drive ones in pretty much every way, except for that silly latch thing.

Toebra wrote: Take the lower radiator hose clamp on my car, an answer. It has this latch. I guess if you use the cable hose clamp tool to squeeze it and push the tab up with a screwdriver it will latch and you can slide it off.

The latches never latch. You just need to use the correct hose clamp tool. Then they go on and off like butter. The correct tool is far easier than using the wrong tool, and spring clamps are WAAAAAAY better than worm clamps, which are always either too loose and leak, or too tight so they squish the hose and then it leaks later, if it didn't strip out when tightening.

I religiously save spring clamps from assemblies or used engines. I convert my cars to spring clamps as I progress through them. They really ARE better. Unless you use pliers on them, then they go out of round and don't clamp, but that isn't the clamp's fault any more than rounding a Torx-headed bolt out by trying to cram an Allen socket into it is the bolt's fault. Need to use the appropriate tool for the job.

Appleseed wrote: Hearts are less complicated.

One MINI shop calls them "Jarviks" because of their resemblance to the artificial heart.

Actually not a terribly bad job with the pictures and help available in the forums. Maybe a few hours. Failure rate on the originals is very high, I don't know about the replacements. I paid about $125 through a discount place-- I don't know what the dealer charges.

Ownership of the MINI put me off BMW products altogether. Blaming the owner for their poor engineering and designing their cars to be fragile and stupidly expensive to fix. It took them seven or eight years to finally recall the R56 for timing chain problems, even though owners complained from day one. A lot of people paid a lot of money to fix BMW's problem before they finally admitted it was a design issue. When telling the service manager about this and a fuel pump problem I was told I wasn't keeping enough oil in it or I was using the wrong fuel. berkeley you very much BMW. Sorry, rant over.

Don't blame BMW for the Mini thermostat. I've always known the P38 Land Rover thermostat as a Jarvik

Toebra wrote: Then I saw the thermostat assembly for a MINI. Apparently you replace ALL this, if the thermostat that is molded into it goes bad.

My friend is currently contemplating parking his Mini Countrymen on the closest frozen lake and hoping for warm weather. Apparently he is one of the few people to try and replace his clutch at home. He had to order parts and tools from Germany. It took him months to just swap the clutch, and he's a very skilled mechanic. Swapping the clutch required removing almost the entire front of the car.

The other night he texted me that the car was apart again to repair the timing chain. There was a recall on some models, but not his exact car. He was pissed, but it still needed to be done. He gets the car back together and the serpentine belt shredded on startup. You have to yank the motor mount to swap the serpentine belt. I told him to just part the damn thing out at this point, it is cursed.

As someone who has never owned a Mini, they seem like a perfect mix of British car reliability and German simplicity in design. No, wait, the opposite of that...

So where do I buy those pliers? And where do I buy extra spring clamps in various sizes? I love spring clamps when I can reach them and with that tool I could become a spring clamp god.

Pliers are on Amazon and I'm sure elsewhere.
Spring clamp pliers

Amazon also has "Constant Tension Band Hose Clamps". I'm sure you can get them from other sources as well, those were the easy option.