We had an ice storm today, so everybody was home and I retreated to the sanctity of the garage. I spent a good part of the day changing a lower control arm on the dog's Volvo, and after that, I decided to see if I could adjust the recently replaced, and poorly aligned, headlight on the wife's Honda Accord.
And that's when my right hand got stuck in the car.
I reached in near a spot that seemed to indicate the presence of an adjustor that I couldn't see from above. My hand went in easily, so easily in fact that I don't really remember anything about that part of it. But there was absolutely no way that I could get my hand back out.
I spent about five minutes trying to save face by moving my hand into every conceivable position I could, but it still wouldn't come out without tearing off large chunks of my flesh.
Eventually, I relented and yelled out to my wife. Several times. And each time a little louder.
Unfortunately, she couldn't hear me over the sound of the Hallmark Channel's 1500th Christmas movie with the exact same story line, that she was watching for the 1500th time.
Refusing to panic, I looked around at my options. I didn't have any tools within reach. I thought about trying to break the light housing, but wasn't ready for that. I thought that maybe I could cross a couple of wires to the horn, but I couldn't make that happen either.
Fortunately, there was a broom leaning up against the wall. I reached out with my left foot and pulled the broom my way. I used the handle to knock the house phone receiver off the wall, then hooked the cord, reeled it in and called her cell phone.
"Hellllloooo? Are you okay?"
"No. Get out here. I'm not kidding."
I directed her to the toolbox. With the help of some tools, I was able to remove a 10mm bolt and then use a knife and a door panel tool to remove a plastic clip on the headlight housing.
Still stuck.
I tried prying the housing away from the radiator support, but it still wouldn't budge. Still unwilling to break a perfectly good part that I would have to replace later, I asked her to grab a spray bottle of Simple Green. I soaked my hand down pretty well but I still couldn't get out. Finally, after a thorough soaking and some crazy twisting, my hand slipped out.
This was not fun.
I'm not sure how I would have handled this situation had I been home alone. Lord know's that I have done much riskier stuff when I was on my own.
In all seriousness, I was nearing the time of day where kinda needed to poop. If I was all alone and it came down to it, Simple Brown might have become my lubricant of necessity.
Remember: There's always something that you can do to save yourself.