So the service writer writes up:

Cust states that the vehicle is struggling to accelerate seems like it does not want to E36 M3 from 1st to 2nd gear ---check and advise

So how is your new year?

Try more fiber. Should E36 M3 better

and you know you hafta E36 M3 before ya git

Tech response:

Car counseled appropriately, now motivated to E36 M3, just can't.

Sounds like a job for exlax.

In reply to JtspellS:

I would recommend a shot of Castor-oil...I usually prefer to go with Syntec, but even GTX should do the trick if you're willing to take it more frequently.

.

Doesn't want to accelerate in 1st, but they think it will do any better in 2nd? Must be fun getting vaguely contradictory descriptions to decipher.

Buy a Taurus or an automatic Vue. Those are guaranteed to E36 M3 gears!