Talk me off the ledge- RE Hummer H2.

Yep, the epitome of the American car industry bloat, hated by everyone everywhere, loved by drug dealers, rappers, white people that want to be rappers, and people with penis issues. They're big, they're ugly, they have stupid interiors, they get awful gas mileage. But-

They're getting damn cheap. Orphan cars that they are, they're almost non-existent locally, with most of the ones around here acting as paperweights or being shipped south of the border. BUT- they're Tahoes! And they're LSx powered. They're pretty beefy, and actually pretty capable as trucklets, if used properly and not saddled with chrome wheels that weigh more than my corolla. As the herd of Excursions gets thinner and thinner and the 3/4 suburban market shows no sign of lagging for some reason- I am looking for another big stupid option for a big stupid truck. I know they get awful mileage. Don't care. This is not a daily driver. This is a "Ima pull some E36 M3, push some E36 M3, bash some E36 M3, drive through some E36 M3, ain't gonna stop for E36 M3" kinda rig. Is there any obvious flaw in them that I don't know about? Some inherint flaw that was gifted to it by the Hummer gods when they took the Tahoe chassis and made it stupid? Tell me I'm dumb. Tell me this is a bad idea. I used to abhor the things, but now I see one on the road and I'm like "If I had one and I beat the E36 M3 out of it, I'd probably like it". I think I may need medication.

I have thought the same thing..

There is one around here that has the pickup type box on the back... Big silly wheels.. It looks like a Hotwheels toy.. I love it.

I've seen ONE that even remotely looked capable off-road and it was COOL. This was approximately one month after thier introduction.

Since then, I have not seen ONE that didn't have 20"+ wheels and rubber band tires and had the full-on Pimp My Ride treatment.

If you plan on USING it like the truck that it is, DO IT!

This:

[URL=http://s265.photobucket.com/user/derekrichardson/media/Mobile%20Uploads/image_2.jpg.html][/URL]

Not this:

[URL=http://s265.photobucket.com/user/derekrichardson/media/Mobile%20Uploads/image_3.jpg.html][/URL]

Well, see, I have two thoughts. Find an unmolested totally stock one with some miles on it, and offroad it. OR- find one that's been chromed out and homey needs to get out from under it to pay off baby mama or some E36 M3. Ditch stupid chrome wheels on the donk crowd, get rid of all the drug smell, throw some stockers on it, and ride. The hitch there is potential deferred maitenance. HOWEVER- the end result would be the top pic.

Are they actually cheaper than the equivalent 'Hoe?

If you look right, they are. Orphan cars are like that, and in a liberal fart sniffing state like MN, they're hated.

mndsm wrote: in a every state I know of, they're hated.

FTFY

the Hummer H2.. more hated than the Land Rover Freelander

Am I the only one that sees this when they look at these?

mad_machine wrote: the Hummer H2.. more hated than the Land Rover Freelander

And actually sorta reliable!

shop that is doing the engine in my disco.. the owner told me that if my car had been a freelander, he would have banned me from the premises

In reply to bgkast:

But you're less likely to break an axle or die of dysentery whilst plodding westward.

In reply to bgkast: Not at all!

But our town is full of trophy brides who drove them the few months they were cool. Now, they're back to driving Rovers again. Neither one ever gets dirty, much less goes off road.

Bit of irony. The local dealer built this big fancy showroom and lot just for Hummers. It had all kinds of concrete banks and bluffs outside and visible from the interstate. They posed a Hummer on each position. Of course being concrete that Hummer never got muddy. The same dealer now poses Subies on the same concrete positions. They're making money selling them.

Whats wrong with freelanders?

In reply to 1kris06:

It is perhaps the single best vehicle to buy the add on warranty from carmax for.......

bgkast wrote: Am I the only one that sees this when they look at these?

I think you're referencing this. Either way, you're not the only one.

HUMMER H2 Converted Into Horse Drawn Carriage

1kris06 wrote: Whats wrong with freelanders?

I asked this question after noticing approximately forty percent of the used examples needed engines.

The short version of the answer is that the piston sleeves eventually move out of position, killing the engine at around 80k miles. Land Rover got out of the replacement engine business, selling the tooling to China, where replacement engines are made with the same fault, same price, but looser quality control than Land Rover could abide. Avoid at all costs.

Which is a shame, because I nearly bought a soft top when new, and still think they're the bees knees. The complex electronic for wheel drive system would probably make any other engine a tough swap.

Got my wife an h2. Good vehicle. Cadillac interior that is nice. It is a extremely capable street truck. Wife loves it. I rather drive my xlt optioned 2000 expedition.

The only thing I'd wonder about is the electrical failures GM products of that era seem to have. The kind that let you drive the thing home but are annoying nickle & dime stuff. Interior blower fans, window switches, ignition switches etc.

dean1484 wrote: Got my wife an h2. Good vehicle. Cadillac interior that is nice. It is a extremely capable street truck. Wife loves it. I rather drive my xlt optioned 2000 expedition.

I've considered an Expedition (or rather the Navigator, since prices seem to be pretty comparable and I'm a sucker for stupid chrome stuff) before and they just don't seem to be as "beefy". Really I need to follow Cotton and Aussie Steve and get like a Deuce and a half or a modified 6x6 or some crazy E36 M3 that those two tend to come up with, but I'm trying more....conventional means before I go full retard.

bonus points over the 1/2 ton tahoe/burb for having 8 lugs and better rear axle. i want to find an h2 rear diff and front spindles/hubs for my avalanche and go 8 lug. apparently the only difference on the rear is shock mount location.

there is a farm around here that bought one new and they have used it from day1 as a truck. they pull horses, throw hay in the back, and otherwise beat the crap out of it. every time i see it the thing looks worse, but keeps going. it's always filthy too. i love that.

so.. it got 8 lug hubs for looks.. but it made it more capable.. I love it

Actually, I don't think what I'm seeing around here is cheap. Can someone show me a cheap H2? Craigslist has them in the mid teens for a twelve year old, mid hundred thousand mile example. $15,000 for 137,000 miles on a 2003 seems like a bad deal.

The thing is the hummer feels less capable than it probably is. Where as my expedition. Feels lighter but feels like you could go anywhere.

Mind you my expedition is a bit of an odd duck. It has HD suspension that makes it sit a couple inches highertgan a standard one. It also had a HD tow package. All this is from ford. I was told by the dealer at the 100k service that it has F250 suspension and driveline but standard F150 5 lug bolt pattern.

My biggest problem with the hummer is the width. You have to really concentrate when driving it.

One other thing I gave noticed is that people tend to drive like jerks when I am in the hummer. Cutting me off tail gating. The thing just brings out the worst in other drivers. I don't know if it is jealousy or if it is just ingrained in people to be jerk wads when they see some on driving a hummer. It can be fun at first but gets old in a hurry.

The good part is if someone hits you there car is more than likley going to loose. A kid in a Honda hit my hummer when it was parked and I was in the local market food shopping. I don't know what happened as when I came out the police were already there. The Honda hit my hummer dead in the side probibly under heavy braking. It took the top of the hondas motor off. kind of stuffed it under the hummer. Air bags deployed. It was a total loss. The hummer needed a new step bar and some paint and undercoating touch up to the frame. The call from the other persons insurance was funny they could not comprehend that there clients car was totaled and I only had $300 in damage. I got new stainless steel power coated step bars out of the deal.

Another thing that is unexpected it how fast a hummer can accelerate. It is no supper car but off the line with awd and all that weight holding the thing to the pavement means you get fantastic grip on launch.

I paid 10k for mine. 2004 with less than 100k. Last June.