My wife seems to assume I'm resting because I've nothing to do. So she starts the day off with a list of things that have slowly been pushing my thing to the background..
I'll often start working on the Jaguar pause for a break only to be dragged into her things and never get back to the Jaguar.
Do I need to drag a coach into the shop to avoid contact?
Are you doing Summer School runs? If not, and your wife works, act preemptively. Knock out her stuff during the week. Set up a schedule with her, putting your projects ahead. If you're on the same page, you can get things done.
I just keep in mind the chores high on my list that she gets knocked out even when they are not high on her list ;-) which usually happens when I knock out a few of her chores......
I know the Jag brings you a lot of personal satisfaction when you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor on track but there are a few very important itches a automobile can never scratch.
Dirtydog (Forum Supporter) said:Are you doing Summer School runs? If not, and your wife works, act preemptively. Knock out her stuff during the week. Set up a schedule with her, putting your projects ahead. If you're on the same page, you can get things done.
Summer school is over. and she works from home.
But I love your thinking. Be proactive Set up a schedule and list my time for things I want to do.
In reply to Olemiss540 :
Past a certain age the desire is great but the flesh is weak. Even with the limit of the little blue pills.
As with car/vehicle sub projects towards the greater goal.... I do the same with house crap. I won't say make it a game but a list is just a list. Make that list "important", "what do you want done first and how long do you think it will take?" Sure you can paint a room in a day (8hrs), but it looks like E36 M3. That's a solid 2 days period. I can drywall a room in a day but it'll have more mud on it than what a thunderstorm can make in my yard. Again, that's a 3 day project depending on the starting point. I've seen and toured too many homes house hunting that had new carpet with paint on it and trim that had sooooo many layers of paint on it it looked like Fordite, besides the "overspray"....
In reply to Ranger50 :
My wife is a micromanager and wants things done in the order she demands. It simply doesn't matter to her about best practices or efficiency, or cost.
I had thousands of bd ft of wood to do flooring but it was critical to her to have the finish flooring done - right Now!! Long before it should have been done. So off to the store we go and buy flooring rather than use my wood to make flooring.
And so it goes. Finish walls and then be forced to run hoses and power outside the wall cavity up to the mini splits !!
Build her a special office to work from home, finish it and then she decides to move everything down to the living room.
Aaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!
frenchyd said:Even with the limit of the little blue pills.
My wife and frenchy's sound like they are cut from the same cloth. Long term plan is to keep the shop offsite so I can't get trapped into "little things" like when I was working from home for 2yrs.
If getting something done is THAT important to someone else, then THEY can do it.
I've taken a week off work (use it lose it vacation days) to get some work done on my projects, the wife is firmly convinced that I'm there specifically to take care of all the little things SHE wants done. She is so wrong.
I came up with a great system years ago to help my wife (and me) manage the honey-dos.
She keeps a list on the fridge. She is in complete control of it. She can put anything at all on it that she wants. I never complain about any of it.
One rule... No more than 5 items on the list. I don't care if she changes the list. If her priorities change, she can erase 1 item and add a different one.
5 priority items I can handle. If I look at the list and see the same 5 items for more than a week or 2, then I know I am not getting the things done that matter to her. I step it up.
When I complete 1 item, I erase it. She adds another item in it's place.
I don't care if she has a separate list somewhere else with 600 items on it. I don't want to see it. All I want to see is her 5 highest priorities.
It has worked well for many years.
If my wife wants something done, it needs to be first thing on a Saturday morning before I start on whatever I have planned. Otherwise, the answer is no.
My kids have the same requirement. If they want help working on something, they need to be at the house ready to do it before I get started on something else. Otherwise, I'm busy.
I'm usually up and out of the house by 8.
Lucky for me she sleeps late. 
She also doesn't work for the most part, so house cleaning, laundry, and such are all on her.
Your wife's want to do stuff. common stuff, and your to do stuff are three separate things. I am a lucky man in that my wife gets this. You need to have a constructive/supportive talk with your wife. People assume others see things from there position. This is almost never the case.
Not discussing things will not help. Also if something bothers you bring it up immediately (like her moving her office after all the work you did) it obviously is not a big deal to her but she does not see it from your shoes. Don't let it fester. That is bad for both of you.
I'm glad my wife and I communicate what needs to be done and what we want to do to come up with a plan that's fair for both of us. And also, we respect each others time, hobbies and overall feelings. I couldn't imagine having that kind of micro-managing partner. " SWMBO" isn't a real thing and I refuse to refer to my wife as such because that sounds so toxic. Even said in jest, there is some truth to it for a lot of unhealthy relationships that men have with their wives.
Frenchy, you've expressed multiple times how much your wife manages your time, energy, and money to the point where it seems like you do not have any respectable input in these situations. I know you guys are pretty experienced in your number of years on this earth but it isn't too late to sit down and talk it out in order to tackle these things as a team. You've earned your free time and you've earned your hobby time.
frenchyd said:In reply to Olemiss540 :
Past a certain age the desire is great but the flesh is weak. Even with the limit of the little blue pills.
Is this a Viagra joke or Futurama?
yupididit said:I'm glad my wife and I communicate what needs to be done and what we want to do to come up with a plan that's fair for both of us. And also, we respect each others time, hobbies and overall feelings. I couldn't imagine having that kind of micro-managing partner. " SWMBO" isn't a real thing and I refuse to refer to my wife as such because that sounds so toxic. Even said in jest, there is some truth to it for a lot of unhealthy relationships that men have with their wives.
Frenchy, you've expressed multiple times how much your wife manages your time, energy, and money to the point where it seems like you do not have any respectable input in these situations. I know you guys are pretty experienced in your number of years on this earth but it isn't too late to sit down and talk it out in order to tackle these things as a team. You've earned your free time and you've earned your hobby time.
Wise words
In reply to SV reX :
5 items make great sense to me.
I know I need a different plan.
I'm not myself with her and lately it's getting pretty serious.
No arguments or fights simply because I don't want to risk the D word.
In reply to frenchyd :
If you can't talk openly about all things (including the D word), then you are risking the D word.
In reply to yupididit :
VERY well said!!! I didn't use the SWMBO that often, although my dad did joke about it a lot. He never did know he had a mean sense of humor
After reading your words, I just stopped using it in jest.
Frenchy: my wife, by nature is also a ... well, just like you describe. But she knows that's not fair to others, so tries not to take it out on me. And since I tend to the grumpy side, I reminded her more than I should!!!
Told her several times to day - "what hand do I hold (insert appropriate item here) that in while I stop what I'm doing to instantly make that happen?"
When ya think about it, I'm just being an azz.
We ARE blessed that we can talk about anything, and always remind each other that at the end, we are married. Every thing will will work!
Not a bunch of help, but ya ain't alone out there, at least.
In reply to frenchyd :
I like his 5 item list, as well. My wife is a "list" person, and I've always just flown by the seat of my pants. As my dad would say.
She doesn't push lists at me too hard, and I can't complain; the list she writs for herself is ... let's just use her own words "my boss is a real slave driver" (self employed)
In reply to SV reX :
I took a screen shot of y'all's list method, to discuss with my list lady - when I get the nerve up. I'll have to work harder 
Good stuff!
BTW, dm me your email, sometime.
In reply to 03Panther :
I sent you a dm, but I'm not sure you are receiving them. I've tried to reach out to you several times before without response.
svrexpaul at G mail
Frenchy, reading this my initial reaction is probably similar to yours - don't rush him, if it's so important to you then learn how to do it and help him! But then I thought about it and ... really I'm trying to be kind and constructive here. Haven't you been working on that house for most of your 75 years? And you didn't have a finish floor yet in part of the house? Maybe going to the store and buying flooring was the best move there. Sometimes you just gotta do it and accept the less than ideal solution that gets done rather than the perfect one that never happens. It's hard even for me to not think of your wife as being presumptuous- coming to you late in life and trying to tell you how to do what you've been doing all your life. But maybe she's really trying to help you get your long term vision realized before it's too late.
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