The 'I Win At Life' Thread

I remember way too many of these moments, but here are at least a few-

-ODO didn't work on my 91 GTI track rat. No problem, had local speedo guy rebuild it for not much money. Placed repaired instrument cluster on the roof of my car while other repairs were being done. Had to put the car up on jack stands to swap wheels so I jack up one side of the car at a time. Unfortunately clusters will not stay on the roof of a car tilted at a 45 degree angle. Broke the tach needle off and put a crack in the glass before it was installed. But the speedo and odo still worked.

-Came up with an ingenious (to me) pulley system to raise and lower my bike rack off my IS300 and store it up in my garage rafters. Drove my car under the pulleys, hooked them on rack, and then winched it up to the rafters with only one person. Awesome! Went to lower the rack back on to the car a few days later but it wouldn't lower evenly because it was too light and not balanced evenly. After tugging and pulling the rack lower by hand it dropped the last 12" right on my roof. Now I have a 3 big dents and a scratch on my roof.

My latest fail- -SWMBO told me we were taking a family vacation to Sonoma with another family. Not into wine, but whatever. Then she mentions there is some track around the area called "Infinity or something?" . Infineon Raceway? berkeley yeah, I'm in! Passed up a few auto-x events to save money and prep my car for a track day at an epic track..so excited. Roll bar I've always wanted gets bumped up priority list. Finally got a custom ECU tune to take advantage of all the custom engine work done during rebuild. So I rent a dolly and tow the car and family 550 miles to Sonoma. 73mph speeding ticket (55 speed limit towing) in the first few hours. Waste of money, but could be worse. So now I won't go over 59mph and it takes 10 hours to get there. Apparently that engine rattle I believed to just be noisy lifters was my crank. Which of course blew up 14 minutes into my first session (in the pouring rain). So 20 hours and 1200 miles of towing, $250 in track fees, $150 trailer rental, and $1200 in upgrades just for this trip got me 14 minutes of wet track time at Infineon Raceway on a motor with only 1800 miles on it.

I thought I had it bad . . .

I did the valve cover gaskets, intake gaskets, coil plug boots, new plugs, new maf, fuel pressure regulator, fuel filter, and o2 sensors on the 530i chasing down a part throttle stumble and erratic idle . . . . To the tune of ~$550

Only to remember that the wife drained the battery the previous week by leaving the lights. It just needed the ECU to be reset (aka 10 min job).

At least I don't have to worry about that stuff for a while

The motor in my toterhome needed to be replaced so I could make the tow to the Runoffs. Not having time to do it myself, I had a truck shop do the job. 3 weeks later, on the day I was to head for RA, the shop told me the replacement motor blew up on the test drive. I had supplied the used motor, so I was out $3K plus and had the toter towed to my house. Missed the Runoffs. Found a low mileage reman and with the help of a local shop, I did the swap in 7 hours. The truck shop charged me for 20 hours. The new motor runs fine and I found wires to the fuel system switched when I did the swap.This might have been a cause of the motor failure at the truck shop. I will never again pay to have someone else do what I am capable of, which is almost anything mechanical, electrical, hydraulic, body and paint etc.

I have a number of these stories...

Once when I was a teen I was "assisting" my dad with a tuneup of the 65 Ford Pickup. Its winter and raining hard so the truck is in the garage, but the door is 3/4 closed for ventilation. He asks me to start the truck up so, without thinking I reach in through the drivers side window of the truck and hit the starter, The truck starts up, and since its in reverse, it promptly backs right through the garage door.

Luckily it was in reverse, if it had been in a forward gear, dad would have been pinned to the back wall of the garage.

The family still makes fun of me for it at every opportunity.

egnorant wrote: My niece had abused her 2003 Honda for a couple of years and it finally died due to never changing or even checking the oil and a bearing in on the cam seized and broke the cam. Evaluation says not worth fixing and the "Tote the Note" guy who actually owns it due to no payments in about a year comes to get it and just hands us the title and says it is not worth his time to tow it for scrap. Craigslist ad for parts or whole car are wildly unsuccessful and we haul it to scrap. ONE day later, a nephew arrives with his trusty, you guessed it, 2003 Honda needing a radiator, exhaust manifold, drivers window motor and front bumper. Guess which car at the scrap yard just happen to have ALL the parts we needed? Cost $80 more than we got for scrap! Bruce

Winner winner chicken dinner. I actually LOL'd at work.

Did you know rotary engines create suction through the exhaust on startup?

The rag I plugged into the back of the header of my newly rebuilt and installed 13B sure found that out quick enough... On the plus side, rebuilding it the second time was a whole lot faster!

Back at my first AutoX, I finally had everything I needed to go. A car that would pass tech, a Snell helmet, money for the entry, and a Sunday off.

I'm in line to run in the first heat, and have the engine on and off while waiting. Finally at the starting line I have some blue smoke coming out. I'm told it is most likely Valve guides with cycling the engine on/off, nothing to worry about. After that I don't shut it off till thwe heat is over. Each consecutive run, it is blowing more smoke, till the 5th run when it is a full blown lot wide smoke screen, and my temp pegs out.

I park it for the rest of the event to let her cool. Before leaving I check all fluid levals, nothing is low, and it hasn't had any issues since.

In June of this year my rusty trusty '97 Caravan finally bit the dust. Seeing as I commute 65 miles one way to work in the middle of the night I decided that I needed to get a reliable fuel efficient appliance for my next car.

Not wanting to have a second car payment I decided the best course of action would be to trade my Solstice in for a car that could be driven year round. I bought a Cruze and said good bye to having a "fun" car for awhile.

Last month my boss told me that the routes that service the area where I live were opening up and if I wanted them they were mine. I could also take my work truck home with me every night. DOH!

Now I'm stuck with a car that barely gets driven and is nowhere as much fun to drive as the car I traded in.

I'm 20. The Bugeye Sprite I got as a graduation present and drove my first year of college is back from the paint shop. Beautiful deep black shine on it.

Car had been stripped for the painter, so the first thing to do is put the engine/tranny in. Unbolted the hood and set it UPRIGHT on my front lawn.

Get the engine all installed and start hooking up the wires, hoses, etc.

Felt a cool breeze pass my face and heard a big bell sounding THUD.

The hood fell backwards onto the grass and proceeded to crack all the bondo and paint under that beautiful hood.

-Rob

Worked evenings at a garage with it's own tow truck. '73 Chevy wheel lift wrecker with gumballs. When it was cold we put it inside overnight. This particular night was frigid. I was in a hurry so I drove the truck up to the bay door, got out and flew up the door, hurried back into the truck.....and promptly drove the gumballs into the door which had hit its stops and bounced down about two feet. Two of the wheels that go in the track shot off into the garage ( I could only find one). Broke but did not puncture the lower door panel. I was able to get the truck out, more or less repair the door, and close up shop. Left a note for owner that I would be in in the morning to "explain." Nicest thing ever happened. He looks at me and says, "does the door work okay?" I said, "Yes." He then says, "Well the truck needed new lights anyway. You pay half and I'll consider it done." I really thought I was gonna lose my job. Ended up working for him for 5 years and I still call on him from time to time for advice.

As an aside, if you can't add to this thread are you really GRM material?

Last summer I had busted my butt and spent money I didn't want to to replace the worn clutch in our autocross Miata. Drove it 1000 miles for break in and drove 2.5 hours to Packwood, WA in BFE nowhere for an autocross weekend. Booked a motel, took the SWMBO, the works.

Saturday freaking morning before we had even finished out runs the clutch fork breaks (only thing I didn't replace, I did the flywheel, clutch & PP, master & slave, clutch hose, and throwout bearing). Had to cancel the motel (and then fight them and the CC company after the bastards tried to say that we came in and took a shower before taking off, we never even made it into town!!) and nurse the stupid car the whole way home. Made it home, SWMBO was pissed, and I totally destroyed the new clutch.

I paid a shop to replace the fork with a new and do the clutch again.

Also last summer with the stupid Miata...

Went to autocross in Portland (45 miles South). Raced all day, got like 8-9 runs each, and had a blast. Drove into downtown Portland for some sandwiches for late lunch and some fancy stuffs to make for dinner. Decided on a whim to go 10 miles out of the way on the way back to NW Portland for soft serve.

Made it to mile marker 36 on I-5 in Washington and the CAS fails. Dead Miata at 70 on 2-lane interstate. Get the stupid car off on the exit. Tried to fix it, no love. Called friends, everybody is out (it's Father's Day). Had to wait 2.5 hours for the tow truck.

Our exit is #42.

No wonder I ended up hating that car...

I've posted this before but...
I was trying to start an 82 RX7 that was sold as a parts car but with a title. The cat had been removed for scrap value.

I soaked the rotors with MMO for 24 hours, charged the battery and turned it over...no start. I gave it a couple of squirts of starting fluid and tried again. It started and ran for a few seconds then died. I pumped the throttle a couple times, verified the fuel flow and tried again. It started again and ran for about a minute...not well, but it ran.

When it died the second time, it let out the most glorious backfire I've ever heard and shot flames directly onto the MMO, unburned fuel and dry grass under the car where the cat should have been.

Luckily, I had a new hose nearby...in the shed...still tied with, in my opinion, way too many twist ties. The hose barely reached from the faucet to the car but I was able to put out the growing grass fire under the car with no damage, except to my ego.

oldtin wrote: Was just shining up the triumph daytona to sell it this summer. Got it all spiffed up, looking great. Took it around the block to make sure everything was working. When I got back, promptly dropped it on the right side. Snapped the brake lever, cracked the lower fairing and broke a chunk off the upper fairing. Replacement parts list for over $700, not to mention knocking off some resale value. Good news was the brake lever interchanges with a cheap yamaha one ($18.95 instead of the $109.00 triumph part) and I bought a Harbor Freight plastic welding kit.

I first imagined a spitfire on its side. Then I noted the motorcycle part of your post.... bummer man.

I had an old '82 Audi turbo engine laying around for 10 years on my parents house waiting for an Quattro coupe or 4000, finally I gave in to their pleas and gave it away. Literally a day later, an 86 4000 Audi Quattro appeared on the paper, without engine, with full suspension, brakes, etc.

zpeed7 wrote: I had an old '82 Audi turbo engine laying around for 10 years on my parents house waiting for an Quattro coupe or 4000, finally I gave in to their pleas and gave it away. Literally a day later, an 86 4000 Audi Quattro appeared on the paper, without engine, with full suspension, brakes, etc.

And now you know why my shop is so full of crap.

I wanted to reinstall the intercooler fan I used to have on my Supercoupe. Since taking it off, I had changed the pipe routing, so now, just to get the IC out, I have to pull the PS pulley. get the IC out, and the shroud/fan won't fit given the location of the IC exit pipe. Cut down the shroud, rotate fan 90 degrees, make it all fit. Drop the IC back in the car. Discover PS pulley installer only works on GM stuff. Buy a new installer, get car back together. Last thing to do is drill a hole in the inner fender so I can use a sheet metal screw to ground the fan. Done. Car finally runs.

Turns out that hole I drilled managed to go right into a brake hose under the inner fender.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Bought a 2002 WRX wagon off a friend to use as a donor for this forthcoming Factory Five car. Body a little rough, great mechanicals, friend had just done the timing belt. Slight coolant leak at the bottom of the radiator, needs a top off every couple weeks.

Drive it home 5 hours from MD to CT. Perfect. Drive to DMV, pay tax and tags. Run an errand. Drive to inspection shop, who fails on brakes and notes the coolant leak. Charges me for the inspection.

On the way back from the inspection station, discover temp gauge pegged, CEL on. No coolant remaining.

Cracked both heads, so I ended up putting a new short block and two reman'd heads into a car that I bought mostly for its motor...

D'oh...

Part 2.

Bought a 1980 Triumph Spitfire in boxes a few years ago and quickly commandeered my brothers garage for the reassembly. Couple of weeks and I actually get it to start and it seems to run fine. A block down the street and back and I put on the remaining bits such as the hood, doors, radiator, seats, you know all the luxury stuff. Time passes and searching for parts is tough as I spot an ad for someone local seeking a Spitfire!

20 minutes later he was on his way and I burned over to brothers house to meet him........would not start......dead battery. No jumper cables so I just pop the battery of my Escort and she fires right up! Block up the street and back, deal done, made a few hundred bucks and his son loads the Triumph on the trailer while Dad and I gather the boxes of taillights, green speckled bezels, 8 inch wire bundles with 3 plugs, all the crap that comes with these old cars as we shoot the breeze about cars and dogs and stuff.

After I wave goodby and tidy up a bit I discover that my car will not start because it HAS NO BATTERY!!!! I did manage to get it going with the old Triumph battery, an extension cord and a 1930s Lionel train transformer. Battery lasted until I got to work.

Bruce

P.S. I have many less memorable events to balance out the above mentioned episodes.

I spent 2 years and who knows how much money grafting a toyota GT4 gearbox into my awd Protege rallycar, "to make it more reliable". GT4 gearbox, beefy GT4 halfshafts, propshaft, rear end, and got it all to fit. Last Saturday we utterly destroyed the LF inner CV 3 miles into the first stage of the rally. Hmm. Seems we may be overarticulating them shafts so it gave us the shaft. Dunno yet if it took the gearbox with it, here's hopin....

I own a Maserati Biturbo.

And it doesn't run right now.

Winning!

This is good and bad, but mostly lucky.

When I bought my Swift GTi, I there was a light clunk in the front. I attributed it to the rack (common), but checked the ball joints just to be safe. They were tight. This spring I put all new struts and springs on it, and checked them again. Everything was tight. One cool, crisp evening, about month ago I was on my way home from work, and taking full advantage of the cool weather, with lot's of 8500 RPM shifts, and some rather aggressive cornering. I pull into my driveway and go very slow, because it's long, L shaped and a little rough. Turn the corner near the end, and BANG. My left front ball joint let go, and the wheel was resting hard up against the inner fender, bulging it out about 2 inches.

Upon inspection, the ball joint was completely dry, and the ball probably had been working it's way up, and out of the joint for a while, and that's why it felt tight. If that had happened a few minutes earlier, that car would probably be parted out by now. From now on, I'll pull the boot off to check them.

Part 1. I bought a nice car from a forum member here who was selling it because he wasn't driving it much anymore. During the past 1 1/2 of ownership, I've barely put a 1000 miles on it... much of that during a week or so period when I was using it as a daily driver...

Part 2. I bought the car primarily for auto-x. I get it home and the first thing the g/f says to me (who after a few attempts has decided she detests auto-x), 'you're not going to race this car, are you?'

Another one I posted back in May:

My garage (and lift) is full of broken E30 and the DD TDi needs and oil change and new rear brakes, so I do this at my g/f's house in her garage.

Drive the car up on wooden ramps her father made - very strong, but have no detent to keep the front wheels in place. I jack up the rear of the car to pull the rear wheels and replace the pads and rotors while changing the oil. The rear brakes are done and I lower the car. I don't 'reset' the E-brake prior to lowering the car. As soon as the second rear wheel hits the concrete, the car starts to roll...

...backwards...

...into the closed garage door...

...with the rear hatch open...

3200 lb VW wagon vs. wooden 9'w x 8'h garage door - not good.

Most expensive oil change ever... ended up costing $3300 for new garage doors... since the other door naturally has to match the new one... plus $70 for new hatch supports plus a still unknown amount to fix the hatch dent and paint (fortunately, no structural damage done).

Moral = wheel chocks (which I have) are good to use.

While trying to repair my bunked up fan shroud on my 318i, I slipped and punched a hole in my rad.