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jstein77
jstein77 Dork
8/9/12 2:16 p.m.
DrBoost wrote: Did I just threaten a car?

Why yes, yes you did.

Slyp_Dawg
Slyp_Dawg GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
8/9/12 10:02 p.m.
Javelin wrote: In reply to yamaha: Oh, no, no, no, no you *didn't*. SHO's do *not* have souls. They are possessed by evil demons sent from hell.

I'm absolutely about to wet myself laughing and this whole thread has me absolutely am mortified of the day I have to explain to my '04 MCS (dubbed Sparky, its surprisingly like a hyperactive puppy with no conception of the words "slow" or "sit" ) why there's a shiny, newer car parked in the driveway beside it, although, like most puppies, it doesn't seem to mind not taking a bath that often... I should still be able to wash a car with a broken-but-surgically-repaired-and-rapidly-healing clavicle, right? No sense tempting fate...

neon4891
neon4891 UltimaDork
8/10/12 1:06 a.m.

My old carb'd accord. It was in need of a vacuum tune up. Only when I stopped to look at cars for sale, it would diesel like crazy. I had to dump the clutch after setting the parking brake and shifting into R after turning off the ignition to stall it out.

Serenity, my current neon, this is a fun one. 3 years ago I was getting ready for a camping trip with my best friend Jordan. Part of this was giving him more wheel time on a standard. We go out for a lesson, come to a stop and the car dies. I end up having it towed to the shop($90) and it turned out to be a blown fuel pump fuse($.25?). It gets better. It does this a few more times the following week, but never at a truly 'inconvenient' time with no indication of what caused it. We head out for one last shopping trip for camping gear at Walmart. I also pick up a big pack of fuses, thankfully. In bumper to bumper rush hour traffic on the parkway, in the 1/4 mile from Walmart to the Long John Silver's, that fuse blew out about a dozen times. By the time we got to the LJS, Jordan was able to get out of the car mid traffic, pop the hood, replace the fuse, close the hood and get back in in 10 seconds. As we sat in a sour mood over lunch, all I did was stare across the road at the used car dealership. If it blew one more fuse I would push it onto the lot and trade it in for something newer, I didn't care any more. We finished lunch, replaced the last blown fuse and went home with no more issues. I parked the car for a week till after the trip(I borrowed my mother's) and it hasn't popped the fuel pump fuse in the 3 years since. That car just REALLY did not want to go to the Adirondacks.

More recent instances of the car acting up was promptly fixed by promising to replace her with a Korean hatchback if she didn't knock it off. And it worked every time.

Mb1992
Mb1992 None
2/14/13 7:55 p.m.

Yes. Cars have feelings and personalities. I'll give you some examples with my 2005 Mercedes W203 C-Class. The story begins with my dad buying the car back in 2005. When i saw her, i fell for her bigtime!

In 2010, he wanted to sell the car and get a Subaru. He told me: "Get the camera, wash the Mercedes and take pictures for the used-car site." When i got in the car, put the key in, all the lights went on (Headlights, interior lights, fog-lights) and the radio started playing "I don't want to miss a thing by Aerosmith" And the weird thing is that all the lights were left in the "Off" position and the radio was "Radio fresh" A radio station, where oldies are never played! Anyway, so i washed the car, took the pictures, but i felt that the car was sad. I didn't want her gone and she didn't want to be sold. After a week, a man came to see the car. My dad was at work, but told me that i could show him the car. The man wanted to hear the engine, so i tried to start the car. But she didn't start. Not even a click. It's like the battery was dead, but it wasn't...

After the man left, i tried to start the car again. She fired right up... Joy of joys, noone wanted to buy our Mercedes, so i got the car. My dad bought a Subaru Legacy Outback. So, after me and my dad sorted the car documents (Listing me as the owner) i decided to take my baby out for a spin. She started right up and the radio began playing: "I'll always love you." The drive was superb! She handled like a dream. I gave her a name too. Mary (From Mercedes :D) So in 2011 i went to study in Germany and took Mary with me.

And here we come to the point where Mary does more weird stuff. A couple of months back, i had to go and pick up some friends. When i got there, turned out that my friends (boy and his girlfriend) took a colleague from work with them. Three doors unlocked, but the one where the "work colleague" had to sit, didn't unlock. So i had to open the door manually. When the guy sat, i got a "SRS failure light" and when i drove off the doors locked themselves (Like they normally do), but in 5 secs. all of the doors unlocked themselves and the window where he was sitting opened (He says he didn't open it).

The next day, all was fine. Mary didn't like the guy, so the next time he wanted to come with us, i refused! Mary didn't like a girl i was dating too. A german girl named Anja. When she got in the car, i got a "headlights fail" message and the headlights didn't turn on. It was in the evening, so we had to walk. When we came back and i got in my car, the headlights worked. (PS: Things didn't work out with Anja. Maybe Mary knew about it...)

No drama with my current girlfriend LOL! The only trouble Mary has ever caused is related to other people, or to getting sold. The only mechanical failure was the A/C. One day i left my car on the street parking and when i came back i found her vandalized. Broken star and scratched hood. So a few days later the A/C failed. It's like she was telling me: "Why didn't you put me in the safe garage! You left me out on the street alone! Let's see you drive 2000km with no A/C in 36C and above temperatures!" Now i never park her on the street. Fixed her A/C and i hope she has forgiven me. She hasn't shown any signs of anger, but she does show signs of sadness when i go home. For winter and spring break i travel by plane and i leave Mary in Germany. Before we say our good byes, she always plays a balad, or some sad song. When i get back and start her up, she always plays: "I'm so excited", "Touch me now" or "Highway star". I will never sell her. I will keep her forever! I love her and i know and feel that she loves me.

And i always make sure that Mary looks perfect and drives perfect. I wash her, clean every bit. Can't wait till spring and a bit of warm wetter, so i can make her shine. And can't wait untill summer. Then i get to drive Mary home. A 2000km journey of us being together. And in conclusion i would like to say that i am a sane person. I'm not some weirdo, but cars really are alive! And you can bond with them in a very deep and special manner.

Shaun
Shaun HalfDork
2/14/13 8:09 p.m.

My wife and I's 1995 volvo 855 and 1996 civic hatch have preformed flawlessly (with regular maintenance) over the last 3 years during which we have been up to out necks and out of our minds with taking care of her Parkinsons / Alzheimers afflicted Mom. best run ever from cars. We are O.K. now. Thanks Cars.

sobe_death
sobe_death HalfDork
2/14/13 8:37 p.m.
Mb1992 wrote: Mary didn't like a girl i was dating too. A german girl named Anja. When she got in the car, i got a "headlights fail" message and the headlights didn't turn on.

There's the problem. German girls named Anja are never good news.

More like the good kind of bad news.

nicksta43
nicksta43 Dork
2/14/13 11:09 p.m.

I almost killed my 1979 Trans Am and it returned the favor.

One evening just as the sun was setting I was out running around and came upon a set of railroad tracks. Heading directly into the sun I could see that a tie was loose but was only sticking up about two inches. What I couldn't see due to the glare was not only a was the tie sticking up but a spike was sticking up as well. I hit it at about 40mph.

As a result I ripped out the front swaybar, oil pan, exhaust manifold, transmission cables, transmission pan, right muffler and rear swaybar.

During the effort to get the car put back together. In what I can only assume in an act of pure vengeance and unbridled retribution for tearing it up in the first place. The car rolled off the back of a raised car port. I ended up hanging upside down with my legs pinned between the top of a chain link fence and the bottom of the gas tank. Let me tell you that a second gen f-body is EXTREMELY heavy. Luckily the rear frame rails kept the car from falling completely off and crushing me.

Trans_Maro
Trans_Maro SuperDork
2/14/13 11:55 p.m.

In reply to nicksta43:

It was trying to end it's own life, it realised that an Olds station wagon engine has no place in a Pontiac.

nicksta43
nicksta43 Dork
2/15/13 12:12 a.m.

In reply to Trans_Maro:

Could be, after I finally got it put back together the first time I drove it the oil pump drive shaft snapped. Drove it 15 miles home without oil pressure and then had a race with a Z/28 ( which I won ) before it breathed it's last breath.

P.S. Good guess on the 403

Trans_Maro
Trans_Maro SuperDork
2/15/13 12:32 a.m.

In reply to nicksta43:

It's a 79, that should be easy.

Auto = 403

Stick = 400

I just parted out my last 301 Turbo today, I'm out of T/A's now.

Shawn

nicksta43
nicksta43 Dork
2/15/13 12:56 a.m.

It is apparent you know your T/A's. Being a geek I knew that but I'm not sure how many normal people would. Of course your screen should have clued me in.

And welcome to the club I had my last of several T/A's oh around...1999.

Appleseed
Appleseed PowerDork
2/15/13 4:26 a.m.

The Caprice was a vampire. Vam-pire! If it did not give it blood, it would never work. It craved human blood.

IT also knew when I had money. It would run and run and run knowing full well there were serious things that needed fixing. It wouldn't stop. But come payday, I would count the days. In less than 3, I'd be fixing it. Sure as E36 M3.

I cried a little when I junk her.

Gearheadotaku
Gearheadotaku GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
2/15/13 7:25 a.m.

whenever I was out on a date in my C4 Vette, the headlights wouldn't work right. On my own, I could run those things up an down 1,000 times without missing a beat. Put a girl in the passenger seat and one would cease to work. I'd have to get out and berk with it for a minute, once having to shove a sock under it to hold it up.

Sky_Render
Sky_Render HalfDork
2/15/13 7:41 a.m.
Gearheadotaku wrote: whenever I was out on a date in my C4 Vette, the headlights wouldn't work right. On my own, I could run those things up an down 1,000 times without missing a beat. Put a girl in the passenger seat and one would cease to work. I'd have to get out and berk with it for a minute, once having to shove a sock under it to hold it up.

I think it was jealous.

golfduke
golfduke Reader
2/15/13 7:52 a.m.

I've got a sort of interesting one- My E36 throws a CEL anytime it's driven in a pedestrian manner. The minute I put it on a track, autocross course, or parking lot shenanigans, the cel mysteriously goes off.

This happens all the time. I know it's just o2 sensors really, but I like to think she just likes to be beaten on... dirty girl.

yamaha
yamaha SuperDork
2/15/13 10:35 a.m.
Javelin wrote: In reply to yamaha: Oh, no, no, no, no you *didn't*. SHO's do *not* have souls. They are possessed by evil demons sent from hell. My 92 SHO: I bought it at a dealer auction from the original dealer, who's wife used it as her DD after it's demo days were done (completely loaded Jade Green Metallic, sunroof, leather, auto temp, the works) until I picked it up (with ~70K miles) in 2003. I drove it home and the cats *caught fire*. A neighbor put it out with his extinguisher from his boat (dry chem) so guess who had to wash every single car in the apartment parking lot after that. I had the cats replaced and then the valve cover gasket sprung a leak. The *rear* one. So into the shop it went to have the entire massive intake pulled, etc. Got that fixed and the next time I drove it the clutch blew up. So I replaced it with a Zoom (or Centerforce, or something like that). At this point I had doubled my money in the POS and put it up for sale at the car lot I worked out. We stuck it in the "featured" spot where it showed it's possession by slowly locking and unlocking all of the doors. (Completely unresponsive to the key fob or keyless numbers on the door). The Jag XJ-S that was next to it blew some sort of electrical circuit board sitting next to it while this happened. So I put a new Optima in it, put new tires on it, polished it like crazy, massaged the leather, the works. I showed this car love for weeks straight and finally started to act well. I left it at the dealership when I went to boot camp and came back to a stereo-less, but running SHO. I drove it cross-country (Cocoa, FL to Bellingham, WA) in 3 1/2 days, solo, with no radio. Somewhere by Tonopah, Nevada I hit a bird (at triple digits, because I was a berking *idiot* back then). Once in B-Ham I had my FIL drive it to Cali to take care of it while I was overseas for 4 months. On his way home, in a huge rainstorm, the wiper motor fried itself. Ding! $600 repair at a Ford Dealer in BFE Oregon. When he brought it back up 4 months later he took a rock to the windshield. I had to meet the Chief of the boat at his house after that and leaving his driveway the car stalled and slid down his driveway, rear-ending his wife's new SUV. Luckily she had a hitch, so no damage to her, unluckily it knocked out a headlight on me. I finally get new lights in it and let my then-GF (now wife) borrow it and the brakes fail on her taking the freeway exit. She taps a POS old Scoobie (that was already smashed) and the bitch sued (that took 4.5 berking *years* to win!). Now my front end was totaled (4x4 Scoob with a hitch vrs low SHO = crunched hood). I let it sit at my apartment for months then finally have it fixed (on my own damn dime, berk you gecko!!!). I swear as *I'm driving out of the berking repair shop* a little old lady runs a red and t-bones the new front end!!! Right back in it goes (luckily this time on her insurance). I take it home from the shop after that fixing and we meet some friends for dinner. Our friends were backing out of the parking lot after dinner and guess what? Slammed into the new front end of my car! I didn't even bother to fix it this time, since it was just a bunch of scratches. Other buddies flew up to visit and taking them on a drive it lunches 3rd gear. Yep, 3rd. 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 5th are all A-OK, but 3rd took a dive. I finally decide that enough is enough and traded the POS in on my Nissan Hardbody 4x4. IIRC I got like $1000 out of the dealer (it's the *only* car out of 100+ that I *lost* money on). No E36 M3, a year later and a buddy had flown up from Arizona to buy a cheap 4x4 up here to drive back. We buy a truck from the same dealer *and the SHO is still there!!!* About a year after that my Dad gets a nasty summons from the Washington State Police about my car being impounded, involved in a hit-and-run, drug trafficking, and various other fines. (The car was Florida titled/registered as my home of record while I was in the service). A bunch of phone calls later and we figure out that the dealer never got the title taken care of and sold the car at auction to another dealer (who not only didn't title it, but quit the business/got shut down) and those guys did a ton of crime with it and abandoned it in the median of I-5 in Seattle. Luckily I had all the paperwork showing it was traded-in to the dealer. I sent all of that to the WSP, who cleared me of everything, and the dealer got *nailed* for some serious fines and stuff (as the actual, legal owner, of the SHO during the crime spree). And thus Bloodwork is my favorite movie just because they beat the ever-living E36 M3 out of an identical green SHO in it. I *hate* those cars, and if they all died a horrible fiery death tomorrow I would dance on their graves.

Yours sounded like a heavily mistreated mistress......

Out of the 12 or so I've owned, each had their weird little quirks. My '91 is only the 2nd one that everything worked properly and doesn't leak oil(the whole thing had been redone prior to my purchase) They do develop the demonic personality you describe if they are only ever puttered around town. If they're driven fairly hard like they should be, they lack that, and instead develop a soul that reflects their owners over time.
My friend's '95 that we rebuilt over the winter seems to be bipolar though.....it'll run perfectly fine and start normally, then out of nowhere run/drive like crap....I told him the car was exacting revenge for sitting 5 years with a smashed front end due to a deer.

carsonthebrain
carsonthebrain
9/7/13 9:10 p.m.

Sometimes we misinterpret our our cars' behaviors as bad, when at times, they are really looking out for us.

For example, my 1972 Pontiac Catalina who waited until I got safely home before breaking his lower radiator hose.

Then there was the 1978 Plymouth Fury, whose 120,000 mile automatic transmission, though shaking at the shiftpoints, kept working for days until I could get it fixed.

There was also a 1988 Ford Escort EXP who let his water pump give way in my driveway, instead of out on the road, far from home.

There is my current car, my 2005 Ford Taurus, "Henry", whose alternator started giving out miles from home, but he still got me to the Ford dealership near my town. I will also say that everything about this car is just right for me, and I have felt so comfortable, relaxed and even-tempered in this car; a welcome feeling for a man like me who is often tense and irritable. Also, my Dad took an immediate liking to Henry. Every car of mine that my Dad has liked, has been a good car for me. It looks like Henry and I will be friends for a long time.

carsonthebrain
carsonthebrain New Reader
9/7/13 9:27 p.m.

The automobile is an organism, albeit mechanical, with many different parts working together to make the car function, the way our separate organs make us function as organisms.
The energy that a car generates could be responding to the way the owner feels toward it, thus leading to friendship or enmity between car and owner.

I also believe a car's "attitude" can be affected by its previous owner. It might, like a dog, miss a beloved owner, or be hostile because of an abusive previous owner.

Also, many good mechanics regard an engine as a living thing, and consider themselves to be like surgeons.

carsonthebrain
carsonthebrain New Reader
9/8/13 3:43 p.m.

P.S. I'm not familiar with all the terms here. What do E36 and M3 mean?

wbjones
wbjones PowerDork
9/8/13 6:25 p.m.

google is your friend .... (the answer to all your questions ... even the ones you didn't know you had )

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grassroots_Motorsports

RealMiniDriver
RealMiniDriver SuperDork
9/8/13 7:01 p.m.

Wife's '81 Camaro WILL NOT start, unless you talk to her (the car) lovingly. Usually, a gentle caress on the dashboard helps.

carsonthebrain
carsonthebrain New Reader
9/8/13 7:59 p.m.

Thank you, wbjones. I clicked the link, and am now enlightened.

Feedyurhed
Feedyurhed Dork
9/8/13 8:04 p.m.

I also feel that cars run better after you wash them, wax them and clean them up. It's like they are returning the favor.

drsmooth
drsmooth Reader
9/8/13 11:30 p.m.
neon4891 wrote: My old carb'd accord. It was in need of a vacuum tune up. Only when I stopped to look at cars for sale, it would diesel like crazy. I had to dump the clutch after setting the parking brake and shifting into R after turning off the ignition to stall it out.

You should have put it in H..

Put it in H

drsmooth
drsmooth Reader
9/8/13 11:30 p.m.
neon4891 wrote: My old carb'd accord. It was in need of a vacuum tune up. Only when I stopped to look at cars for sale, it would diesel like crazy. I had to dump the clutch after setting the parking brake and shifting into R after turning off the ignition to stall it out.

You should have put it in H..

Put it in H

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