Wrenching Confessions: What self inflicted idiocy have you achieved?

Man, I love this thread. Good to know I'm not such a hopeless idiot with a bunch of tools I use haphazardly. Definitely noticing a several themes here, which most of my forehead-slapping incidents fall into. While not as spectacular as some on here I'll shoot.

I've had several detailing jobs go very very wrong. One the first was when I read this neat article where a guy used acetone to clean the yellow off headlight lenses. So I proceed to wipe down my girlfriend's (now wife) new-to-her red integra's headlights on the passenger side. Funny, it keeps getting more cloudy as it sits. That's when I felt like a complete n00b and realized I was wiping down PLASTIC headlights, not glass. She sported one clear and one completely clouded headlight on that car until it left us.

Other detailing mishaps involved using scrubbers that were just too abrasive for the work I was doing. My MR2 still has some pretty serious swirl marks on the hood from trying to get rid of tree sap with a dish scrubber. I also scratched up the back hatch tint pretty good on the Integra trying to wipe off the grime left by our dog's coat (he's big). You'd think I would learn.

Drove an hour and half on the freeway without an oil cap in the Integra. That was fun to clean up. Thank god it didn't catch fire on the exhaust manifold.

I redid the waterpump on the MR2 three times due to leakage before I realized the old gasket was still on the block. I had to chisel it out with a screwdriver. It was kind of shocking it sealed at all. Same thing happened on the thermostat housing o-ring, but I didn't figure it out before breaking a few specialty bolts because there wasn't really room for the new o-ring. What should have taken an hour took a week with shipping. Good times.

Most recently (actually started a thread about this), I got impatient with a spring-n-strut job on the Integra and got real happy with the impact gun on the spring compressors. The vibration caused one of the two compressors to move around the spring, bending it at an impossible arc. In the process of trying to very carefully decompress the spring one of the compressors popped off, flying 20ft across the yard. Thank god it didn't go into me, my car, or my dog sitting next to me. More than that, thank god both didn't pop off or break, possibly killing me unsoftly with wound steel.

Matt B wrote: Most recently (actually started a thread about this), I got impatient with a spring-n-strut job on the Integra and got real happy with the impact gun on the spring compressors. The vibration caused one of the two compressors to move around the spring, bending it at an impossible arc. In the process of trying to very carefully decompress the spring one of the compressors popped off, flying 20ft across the yard. Thank god it didn't go into me, my car, or my dog sitting next to me. More than that, thank god both didn't pop off or break, possibly killing me unsoftly with wound steel.

We always refereed to those as mechanical bombs on the shop floor, we would always yell that out when we were using it.

I did an oil change on my f150, went to check the oil 2000 miles later and discovered I had left the oil cap off. It was still there in the engine bay.

Tyler H wrote: I did an oil change on my f150, went to check the oil 2000 miles later and discovered I had left the oil cap off. It was still there in the engine bay.

I did that on a saturn at work, found out when it came in for the next oil change a couple months later. lol

Mine: Cleaning the AEM dryflow filter on my old SE-R. Glance at instructions, look at the pictures, "Nothing to it." Mix cleaning solution & water, agitate, put some fresh water in, rinse and set aside to dry. Next morning, install & head off to an autocross. About a mile down the road car starts stumbling, throws a MAF code. I limp it back home pull the filter and enough suds to wash a full load of laundry come out of the air intake. Hmmm. . . maybe we should take another look at those instructions: "Rinse filter at least three times with clean water each time." Doh, facepalm. Luckily, no damage. Quick cleaning with MAF cleaner and back in business, but by this time I missed registration for the race.

Just today I overfilled the ATF in the van. A few minutes later, I was spitting it out. It tasted terrible! My 4 year old, helping Daddy with the project, asked "Did you eat it, Daddy?" Yup. Gargled with straight vinegar for a while after that.

Mine - I always take a mental inventory of the old oil filter gasket now. You only clean up that mess once in your life and it will imprint.

Friend in college - Volvo 142 with MSD. Misfiring so he thought it would be good to troubleshoot by grabbing hold of a plug wire. Watching someone do this is pretty funny and a way better lesson than doing it yourself

Race partner - he was the first driver and we did a quick last minute tire change from rains to dry on the grid. I didn't feel too bad since it was the wheel that he was changing that fell off.....

My 10 year old son has already learned what happens when the wrench touches both battery terminals. That left an impression on him. Next time we had to disconnect a battery he wanted nothing to do with it.

Matt B wrote: Most recently (actually started a thread about this), I got impatient with a spring-n-strut job on the Integra and got real happy with the impact gun on the spring compressors.

There's an awesome Youtube video of a couple of guys in a shop that decide that spring compressors are overrated and he just hits the top nut with a impact gun.

In reply to glueguy:

I've seen a few of those where the just lay it on the ground and let it fly. Can't say that the extra 5-10 minutes to compress it properly isn't worth it to me, personally. That said, I still almost took my head off.

JThw8 wrote: Thankfully its pretty easy to get a foxbody mustang clutch cable in the south

i LOL'd

I was replacing head gaskets on a mid-'90s Dodge truck with a 318 or 360. I was pretty much done and started putting the plug wires onto the plugs, and one wouldn't reach. Gave it a couple gentle tugs, and it won't budge. Follow it back to find that it's smashed between the back corner of the head and the block. I had to take the damn thing nearly all the way back apart to loosen the head enough to get the plug wire out, but somehow that plug wire survived!

Another one, I was doing a clutch job on my DD, an '87 GTI 16v. I had it on the lift at work after hours, and I was the only one there. I was having trouble getting the trans back in, and thought it would be a lot easier to get it in there without the left axle flange. I had never taken on off before, so I started poking around to see how they come off. Oh, look here, it's just a simple snap ring! Pop it off, and WHOOOSH!!! With the trans on a transmission jack at head level, the flange shoots about a half inch from my face and flew another 15-20 feet. Getting that flange back on, by myself, without the proper tool was interesting. I got it back on by threading a bolt into the trans next to the flange and putting a prybar under the head of the bolt, then forcing the flange down with the prybar with one hand, and somehow miraculously putting the snap ring back in with the other hand, all while standing on the transmission to hold it down. I actually still can't believe I got it back in there.

I used my butt as a bench vice once so a buddy could cut a piece of steel to fix his rabbit.. Oh it got video taped and put into a Challenge highlight reel...

In my youth I jacked up the rear of my Mustang to do something completed the job, cleaned up, got in the car (in front of most of the neighbors) and tried to drive off.... Forgetting to take the rear off the jack stands.

On the first Challenge car (Nova), I was helping Andy one day and he went in the house for something. While he was gone I noticed a bump on the trunk hinge he had fabricated the night before and welded to the car... I grabbed the grinder and ground that noogie off.... When he came back out I showed him my work and he just chuckled... turns out he had put the bump on the hinge as a stop to hold the lid in the open position... We still laugh about that...

I was putting a new exhaust on my '92 Mustang GT, and it was late in the day. After a bunch of test-fitting (and re-fitting), there was a metal shield of some sort that was in the way of one of the exhaust pipes. I had my Dad cut about 1/2" off with a hacksaw, and that gave us the clearance for the exhaust pipes. After he finished cutting, I started smelling gasoline. The "shield" was part of the gas tank! At that moment even though I was out a new gas tank, I was very grateful I was too lazy to fire up the Dremel to cut off the shield!

Oh, and forgot one from a few weeks ago. I'm doing an oil change, pull the plug and start watching the oil drain into the drain pan. I'm lying there dumbfounded, as the oil's not really draining down into the pan, it's just accumulating on the top. Finally, when it was about to overflow and make an enormous mess, I realized what was going on. I plunged my hand into the hot oil pool, and found the drain plug lodged in the drain hole for the pan. Pulled it out and voila, crisis averted!

Hopefully next time I'll remember not to toss the drain plug in the drain pan...

Another gem, very timely considering it's getting colder out. Middle of a cold winter, huge snowstorm, I'm all out of windshield washer fluid. I'm in Target, looking back and forth between two bottles of the orange winter mix next to each other on the shelf. I pick one up, fill up the windshield washer reservoir with the gallon, and before I toss the gallon out in the garbage, I actually read the label. What I bought was actually sidewalk de-icer that was DOT approved and supposed to be diluted 64:1 before using.

Since that's what was sitting in my windshield reservoir, I went to the store, grabbed some fuel line, and siphoned it back into the container. Ran a bunch of water through the system to clear everything out, and then filled with the proper fluid.

Glad I realized my mistake, can't imagine that stuff would have been good for my paint

I forgot the most important one:

I bought a cheap Porsche.

Chumpcar: The Pontihack Fiero is overheating and we need to refill the cooling system to get back on the track. The fill port cap on the engine won't budge. Solution- channel locks and a rag. Turns out the cap wouldn't come off because it was holding back several psi of steam. Luckily I turned my head as the cap came off and only suffered second degree burns on the side of my face, armpit and side of my torso. Ouch!

turboswede wrote: I forgot the most important one: I bought a cheap Porsche.

I bought several cheap Italian cars, does that count?

Slow learner, me .

Look to the most recent episode of Roadkill, "Draguar", to see some awesome wrenching idiocy.
cut hole in hood to clear massive supercharger and two holleys, but the throttle linkage hits.
solution?
cut more holes in hood, and make the linkage even MORE ghetto.
There were vicegrips involved. and brackets that were not supposed to be there. it was glorious.

corytate wrote: Look to the most recent episode of Roadkill, "Draguar", to see some awesome wrenching idiocy. cut hole in hood to clear massive supercharger and two holleys, but the throttle linkage hits. solution? cut more holes in hood, and make the linkage even MORE ghetto. There were vicegrips involved. and brackets that were not supposed to be there. it was glorious.

Roadkill is what US TopGear should be. I love it. That was an awesome episode. The episode with the Lamborghini and Rat Rod was also cool. Finally, the El Camino engine swap in the parking lot of Summit had its fair share of idiocy :)

BoxheadTim wrote:

turboswede wrote: I forgot the most important one: I bought a cheap Porsche.

I bought several cheap Italian cars, does that count? Slow learner, me .

I got a free X-1/9 and kept it for several years and didn't do much of anything with it since it was an engine swap project.

Have I mentioned that I've spent 6 years rebuilding my cheap Porsche and I'm still looking at other ones as cheap projects?

I think "stubborn" is a necessary personality trait for GRM'ers.

Here's a winner from early in my e30 build.

New rotors. Good (used) pads.

Couldn't figure out why the rear was grinding.

hmmmm

Toyman01 wrote: I wouldn't know where to start. GRM probably wouldn't appreciate me filling up their server with some of the stupid crap I've done in the last 30+ years. You name it, I've probably done it, broke it, caught it on fire, blown it up, or put it together backwards. If it's a tool, I've bent it, snapped it, or thrown it across the shop. I've bled on just about every car I've ever turned a wrench on.

I don't consider a car to be mine until I bleed on it.

while working for mobile phone/paging com. ( this is before the days of cell phones)

a mobile phone was really a radio trans-seiver ... maybe 20 - 30 #'s , ~ 12 -15" square ... we had 2 places that we would usually mount them ... either in the trunk or under the rear seat ... onetime on a Honda Accord we decided to mount under the seat drilled the screws through the mounting tabs into the floor pan .. got it all buttoned up and the radio/phone worked fine ...

owner came back the next day complaining of the heavy gas smell in the car .... seems the gas tank on an Accord is mounted to the underside of the floor pan ... good thing we had ins.....

on my own cars, maybe the worst I've done is replace the calipers on the wrong side .. i.e. with the bleed screw pointing down ... kinda hard to bleed the air out that way