A man get stopped by a game warden with his basket full of fish.
Warden: do you have a permit for all these fish?
Man: no sir. These are all my pet fish.
Warden: your pet fish? How's that?
Man: well, every night I take all my pet fish for a walk to the lake, I let them swim for about half hour and then I whistle and they all come back and jump in my basket and we go home. We do this every night.
Warden: Well that's just a crock of lies!!
Man: here I'll show you... (Releases the fish in the lake)
Warden: well this I got to see!!
5 minutes later...
Warden: well??
Man: what?
Warden: the fish!! Where's your pet fish??
Man: what fish??
NOHOME
UberDork
6/23/15 10:14 a.m.
At the close of the final exam, the proctor announced time was up and directed the students to turn their blue books in. One student, hastening to finish a thought, kept scribbling. Finishing, he rushed to the front of the room and handed in his exam book, one of the last to do so.
The proctor said, "I won't accept this," and the flabbergasted student asked why. "I told everyone to stop and you kept on going. I can't accept it."
The student was aghast. "What'll happen then?"
"You'll probably flunk," shrugged the proctor.
With that, the student drew himself up proudly and asked, "Do you know who I am?"
Unimpressed, the proctor answered, "No."
The student replied, "Good," and jammed his blue book into the center of the pile on the desk.
So this horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and asks "hey pal, why the long face"?
So these two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One of them suddenly looks panicked and says "oh man, I think I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" the other one replies.
"Yeah, I'm positive!"
So this neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Hey, how much for a beer?"
"For you," the bartender replies, "there is no charge."
So this Buddhist monk walks into a pizza joint and says "Make me one with everything."
So this duck walks into a drugstore and says, "gimme some lipstick, and put it on my bill!"
So this baby seal walks into a club...
In reply to Keith Tanner:
U R A NERD. 
A man walked into a bar.. the second one ducked
Keith Tanner wrote:
So this horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and asks "hey pal, why the long face"?
Horse takes a long pull on his whiskey, looks the barkeep in the eye and says "Cancer".
Huh. Another joke thread. Ok then.
http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/joke-of-the-day/30806/page1/
Turboswede goes into an outhouse and...
In reply to Keith Tanner:
In reply to Keith Tanner:
A sandwich walks into a bar and bartender says, "We don't serve food here."
