A story full of hot air

While I take no sides on this politically, I did find this to be humorous. Enjoy!

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

SVreX wrote: While I take no sides on this politically, I did find this to be humorous. Enjoy! A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. "She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "Technically, you answered my question, but you didnt want to use the resources you have that I obviously do not to actually help me. Instead, you did only as little as necessary to answer my question, and are not willing to do anything beyond your obligation to help me because you do not personally benefit from that transaction . ." The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of20hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

fixed

4cylndrfury wrote: fixed

Yeah? And...?

Never mind, I don't want to flounder up a funny (if retreaded) joke.

4cylndrfury wrote: fixed

SVreX smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

Duke might be a little smarter than me.

Or just wearier...

lol...so what if I am. I didnt disagree with the dem part of that joke...just wanted to make it a little more balanced

Anyway, isnt there a dont ask dont tell policy on this forum?

...wait a minute...isnt that policy about...umm

:lightbulb:

oh yeah...nevermind

It was funnier when it was an engineer and a consultant.

I liked the Microsoft version with the helicopter.

What's old is new is old is new...

For the anti-war crowd....

In an effort to downsize the troops, the Marines enticed early retirement with a bonus. They promised anyone who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two body points. The volunteer got to choose the two points to be measured.

The first officer who accepted asked the he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The next in line was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third was a grizzled old top sargent who, when asked, wanted to be measured from the tip of his penis to his testicles. The pension man tried to convince him to reconsider but the Top was insistant and they decided to go along with him.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the sargent to drop 'em, which he did. When the Officer applied the tape measure and began working back "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

"Vietnam".

baddump tssss

:rolls eyes:

Trying to figure out if the the old sarge was in the balloon or in the boat.

TJ wrote: Trying to figure out if the the old sarge was in the balloon or in the boat.

He was a Marine, son. He was in the murky water with a knife in his mouth with a bead on the balooners fuel cell.

John Brown wrote:

TJ wrote: Trying to figure out if the the old sarge was in the balloon or in the boat.

He was a Marine, son. He was in the murky water with a knife in his mouth with a bead on the balooners fuel cell.

I doubt that...I mean that Marine has no balls!

TJ wrote: I doubt that...I mean that Marine has no balls!

"Donated them in combat" ain't the same as "never grew a set"...

this thread needs more sauce.

Duke wrote:

TJ wrote: I doubt that...I mean that Marine has no balls!

"Donated them in combat" ain't the same as "never grew a set"...

I was making a joke about a joke, not impuning wounded combat veterans.