Abuse of automotive favors

As the most mechanically inclined of my group of friends I've apparently made myself a little too available for car-fixing favors. I don't mind helping my friends with the odd small project here or there. Stereo and speakers in an Explorer? Fine. Plug wires on a Probe? No problem. Anything involving a neat car or at least an interesting project? Awesome. However, when my friend called me from work and asked if I'd somehow retrieve his girlfriend's overheating and non-driveable beater taurus and figure out what's wrong with it I got a little pissed off. "Go get her car and fix it" isn't anything like "Hey, can you help me with this coolant hose?"

I think the theme here is the word "help". I will help with fixing things. I will not just do it for free. ESPECIALLY if it's going to be inconvenient for me. I bring the knowledge, YOU do the work.

I'm not a free mechanic. I used to get paid for this sort of thing. I don't mean to be a dick but fixing some chick's beater isn't my idea of fun.

Building a z-car for the track = fun. Headgasket on a taurus = go pay someone to do that E36 M3.

Sorry for the rant. I just needed to vent to an understanding crowd.

If you're willing to work for free, there are plenty of people that will be happy to let you do it.

I think a good response in this case would have been "I'm kinda busy right now." And in the future, differentiate between "I'll fix that for you for $X" and "Sure, I'll supervise. My brand of beer is _____."

I make it obvious to even family that I will not work for free unless 1: I am married to the person. 2: That person is currently married to me or 3: The person is the child of someone who was once married to me and the person carries my DNA markers in their DNA sequence.

Proof of all of the three MUST be verified.

"Sure, I'll meet you there! Bring your tools and wear grubbies - You'll need them"

"Oh, you can't come now? OK, I guess it'll have to wait, then, won't it?"

Unless you can make it clear - and make it stick - that there is a barter system in effect and you don't work cheap - it would be good to develop selective availability for friends. Elderly and infirm family members and real emergencies are different of course.

Lots of friends ask for my help fixing their cars, but it's usually a "this is what my car's doing...why is it doing it?" rather than "I know what's wrong, fix it for me." Which is ok, I suppose.

ill pick up a wrench and go at it if the project is interesting, if the friend is there, or if he really needs my help. I wont just do it for them unless they really need my help and ask me nicely (or compensate with barter or $$)

(ok, so BSing with friends over even the most mundane car work beats more time spent in front of the boob tube)

then agian, my brother came out and visited and roped me into replacing a wheel bearing on his car because i told him that it needed to be fixed before driving 300miles home. he didnt have money with him either, so i paid for the parts, I installed the part (he stood behind me asking dumb questions), and its been over a month and he has yet to pay me for the damn part.. (im not lifting a wrench for him again... EVER)

Everyone has friends that they only hear from when they need a favor. People with mechanical skills have a lot more of them. Especially young people who have friends who are also young, and therefore have cars that are more likely to need help.

It's like owning a truck in a college town. BTDT, on the plus side you don't ever have to buy your own gas or lunch in July or August.

Anymore, I just tell them I don't have time to fix their car unless it's a close friend or something I can do easily.

I don't mind helping out in a genuine emergency. But there better be a quid pro quo, know what I mean? And yeah, sometimes folks have tried to abuse it.

One of my wife's co workers wanted to know if I'd put a timing belt on her Sportage. Sure, one Saturday afternoon + $75 + parts + six pack of Yuengling, ya gotta deal. She kept putting it off; I heard the belt slapping and warned her about it, I finally just quit bugging them. Maybe three months later I get a phone call, she thinks the belt busted or ? and wants me to drive way the hell out in the middle of nowhere and get it off the side of the road with my trailer. Why? She wants to 'save the $35 tow bill'. Oh, that pissed me off.

Ive weeded all my friends who would ask like that out. I dont know anyone like that anymore. Call and ask for advice, or ask me to give them a hand, sure, cause I know they would do the same for me, or someone else has done the same for me, and I want to "pay it forward"

Joey

Well kind of related. I own a pick up truck. I am thereby required to haul everything for everyone no matter how well they may or may not know me............

another related topic, I work with computers. High end E36 M3, Super computer stuff, things that cost more then your house kind of stuff. I get calls all the time to help someone with their "internets" drive me crazy. I usually end up helping them cuz I am a sucker like that....

My favorite quote from an EX-girlfriend. "This guy said he would give me his old Firebird for free. It has a burned valve. Is that hard to fix? Could I borrow your tools?"

I'm the home-repair friend. I make it clear to my friends that I'll "help", but I won't "do". Now that I've moved away from those friends, my best friend has done a few things by himself, sometimes even without asking for my instruction.

Type Q wrote: My favorite quote from EX-girlfriend. "This guy said he would give me his old Firebird for free. It has a burned valve. Is that hard to fix? Could I borrow your tools?"

"I think we threw a rod."

"Oh...is that serious?"

My favorite is the old "it just needs an oil pump, they're only $40."

yep been there, friend calls me up to help install an engine in his car after work...I got off work at 10pm, he needed the engine in for a race the next day nothing like waiting until the last minute. Ended up at his place until about 3 or 4 in the morning.

He blew the engine at the race

skruffy, did you inquire as to whether or not the girlfriend was the compensation? Perhaps that was the intent, because no decent person would ask you to "go get it and fix it" without some sort of meaningful return on your efforts.

i met a guy once that told this story about his college roommate. he was living with this girl, who was fairly mechanically inclined. she needed to change the starter on her chevy somethingorother, and went to the parts store to get it. apparently some guy there tried to pick her up and offered to change the starter for her. so he comes over to work on her car, and ends up taking a lot longer than expected. so she goes inside and changes clothes, and leaves the guy working on her car in the driveway when her date comes to pick her up. "hey when you finish up just leave the keys under the doormat, i'll be back later"

I've always said "I'll help you, I won't do it for you". It's amazing the number of friends projects that die in the driveway when they finally figure that statement out.

On the other hand, this passed summer while rebuilding the race car and time was getting short a couple of friends came over and worked on it when I had to be out of town for the weekend. For those guys I'd do anything for them I could.

nickel_dime wrote: I've always said "I'll help you, I won't do it for you". It's amazing the number of friends projects that die in the driveway when they finally figure that statement out. On the other hand, this passed summer while rebuilding the race car and time was getting short a couple of friends came over and worked on it when I had to be out of town for the weekend. For those guys I'd do anything for them I could.

Exactly; quid pro quo. I have a couple of buds I can always count on and vice versa. For instance, one guy just dragged a RX7 'vert home for me. Any time he needs a hand, I'm there.

Just say no... At one point i was fixing so many cars for free that i took up all of my free time..people were actually scheduling my time for me... I put an end to it, nada, no, nein, nunca, no mas.. I started making it clear that I am not the "oil change guy" , id be glad to help in an emergency, but an emergency is not "my brakes are a little soft" or "my check engine light came on." A few people actually got pissed off!?! they either got over it or I dont talk with them anymore..no loss.. now ill only lift a wrench for family, and a very few close friends, but living 1200 miles away from most of them has its advantages as well...

Strizzo wrote: i met a guy once that told this story about his college roommate. he was living with this girl, who was fairly mechanically inclined. she needed to change the starter on her chevy somethingorother, and went to the parts store to get it. apparently some guy there tried to pick her up and offered to change the starter for her. so he comes over to work on her car, and ends up taking a lot longer than expected. so she goes inside and changes clothes, and leaves the guy working on her car in the driveway when her date comes to pick her up. "hey when you finish up just leave the keys under the doormat, i'll be back later"

+1. This comes back to this (http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/bunch-of-bs/2700/page1/) thread. When you do favors for strange women, chances are that your services will be rewarded with a "kthxbye." In my experience strange guys are much more likely to give something in return (as in beer or something, get your mind out of the gutter )

I've learned my lesson on the pain in the butt jobs as well. I will no longer do a timing belt change, axle change, or clutch change unless it's really just helping, not doing. It's just too big of a job and my time is more valuable than that. I don't mind helping friends in need and I actually like being needed like that, but when you ONLY hear from someone when they have a car question, it gets kindof old.

I have two friends now (they're brothers) who know more about cars than I ever will. I try to do most work on my cars myself and I'm usually reluctant to ask for help, but when I need it, they always come through. I usually pay them with pizza, renting movies, and when posible I help them with what I can (brakes on a subaru wagon are easier when you only need to do the right side). Right now, I'm borrowing a tool and will be returning it oiled up and after having it only a couple days.

there are very few people that I will do work for. My girlfriend, family, and close friends.

Once i changed spark plugs and wires in my girlfriend's roommate's Cavalier. (yeah, no big deal), but later that semester he claimed that he was uncomfortable with me being at the apartment so often! (he was a sensitive boy) After being such a nice guy to him, only knowing him a short time, he says I make him uncomfortable. WTF is that.

(sorry, I am a little bitter)

My favorite story? 1972, Phillips 66 gas station I worked at part time, wrenchin

My boss left me a note" Put this engine in that Impala that's been sitting in the lot. Most of the day Sunday, Car ran okay on the junk yard mill.

The lady came in to pick up her car. The install bill was $200. She says to me " You know I made a deal with your boss for the engine...wink wink.. "

A hot looking MILF, I agreed, and said that 10 trips to the sack ought to cover it.

"What do you think I am !!!!

"We both know what you are. And the going rate downtown is $20"

She had the boss take care of the bill...