Admitting Defeat

Long story short: my work situation is not going terribly well. I am soldiering on, but I am fatigued and feeling defeated.

I am not functioning well working 12-hour graveyard shifts. I already battle a tendency to space out and make stupid little mistakes. This problem has become amplified since starting new schedule. As an example, I got woken up by a call from my boss this morning because I forgot to clock out... again. I have been forgetting about once every other week. If I forget again, he is going to write me up for it. Before I was on this shift, I never used to do that.

The quality standards and expectations at work are very high. Demand so far outstretches supply that there is little to no margin for error. A couple weeks ago I screwed up big and waaay under-ground the malt for a batch of beer (like, 20% low). We managed to get everything back in spec, but it was still a mindbogglingly careless mistake.

I am smart and creative, and have done some good things in my position. I already came up with two new simple set-ups/procedures that have become standard operating procedure (one for cleaning equipment and beer lines, another for preventing over-filling our hot-water tank). But I do not know that these things have even been noticed (yes, I brought them to the attention of my boss), and they do not undue the potential damage I could do if I space out and screw up like I did grinding too little the malt.

Socially, I am not happy in the area either. This is a small, isolated town, and caters to a population of old hippies. I am an extrovert and am not able to engage in the hobbies I most enjoy or even get out and socialize with people. I do not have a good opportunity to blow off steam and recharge. I suspect this isn't helping my issues at work.

I feel like I would be happier and more productive elsewhere. I am looking into making that happen. In the meantime I have two big fears I am trying to deal with. First, I am afraid that I will make a bonehead mistake that gets me fired, and that will sour my chances of getting a new position elsewhere. Second, I am afraid that I will jump to a new location and find that I just keep making bonehead mistakes and realize I am just not cut out for this line of work. I really do not think the later is the case though. I know I make mistakes, but I am physically, mentally, and socially fatigued. I know that is amplifying tendencies, and that other breweries I have visited are more forgiving of error and/or have much more automation and safeguards against basic human error. I just feel like I am weak for not being able to adapt well to the situation I am in.

Anyway... I just needed to throw this out somewhere. You folks get to be my semi-anonymous confessional.

12 hour shifts are stupid. I don't know anyone who is at 100% after 11.5 hours of working.

Move on to greener pastures and better beer.

I enjoyed work when I did 3 13 hour shifts and had off 4 days in a row. It was good work editing video.

But Baron.. it is not the shift that is killing you, it is the business culture you are in. If demand is outstripping supply to where they have to work the overnight shift 12 hours to keep up, they need to consider hiring somebody to help.

Being forced to stay on your feet for 12 hours does not help.

And you do need a way to blow of steam. It is like not getting enough sleep, it builds up and eventually you are going to melt down and everyone will suffer

Toyman01 wrote: 12 hour shifts are stupid. I don't know anyone who is at 100% after 11.5 hours of working.

Been working 12hr shifts since 99, and I love them. I gave up straight 8 hr days so I could have 12hr nights. Most of the guys I work with love the 12's, but some people just can't do it. Maybe your conditioning is not where it needs to be, or you need to fix your sleep routine.

Or you're just not cut out for 12hr nights.

Good that you feel better.

But one suggestion- you need to figure out why you are having focus problems- sleep perhaps?

Whatever it is, it seems as if you need to make a sacrifice short term to fix that so that you can make the move as you would like to.

My BIL has done a night shift for his entire carreer, and the adjustments were pretty big. But they had to be done. This is important to your future.

Understand the problem and fix. It will suck, certainly, but it should be short term while you find other opportunities.

(side note- too bad you can't go much smaller time and live on it- we have a local meat store who have started making beer, and I'm hoping to help them expand to spirits. I wonder if there are opportunities like that out there....)

Its not the shift that's messing with you, what is your schedule? Is it the 5 days of 12's in a row followed by 2 days off? If so, the 60hr week every week is what is killing you.

Toyman01 wrote: 12 hour shifts are stupid. I don't know anyone who is at 100% after 11.5 hours of working.

I am not just working 12-hour shifts. I am working the 12-hour shifts no one else wanted. I am 6pm-6am Saturday night through Tuesday morning and 12-6am Wednesday morning. I do not get a full day off with my fiancee.

2-days after starting the new schedule, one of the two other guys on my shift quit. We spent several weeks with me doing his work in addition to my own. During that time, I got flak from my boss because over small "sloppy" things (e.g. stuff not cleaned out and put away after being used). Thankfully, he has since been replaced with another guy from the day shift who is more cheerful and much harder working.

My boss also does not communicate with us, and it drives me nuts. I come in Saturday night, and I'm flying blind. The protocol sheets for the batches we are going to be doing are never printed out. If there are special instructions for us, they are either relayed "telephone" style through another coworker, or written down on a single note that is probably lost or hidden, and with no indication given that there is a note that needs to be found/read.

Beer Baron wrote: My boss also does not communicate with us, and it drives me nuts. I come in Saturday night, and I'm flying blind. The protocol sheets for the batches we are going to be doing are never printed out. If there are special instructions for us, they are either relayed "telephone" style through another coworker, or written down on a single note that is probably lost or hidden, and with no indication given that there *is* a note that needs to be found/read.

Normal.

Are you familiar with a guy named Chopper?

I get enough sleep. I can pretty consistently get 6-7 hours of sleep every morning after work. It is not as much as I would like, and it is sometimes interrupted, but it is enough.

I have a harder time with being on my feet for that length of time. It is all spent standing on concrete in steel-toed, rubber boots that don't fit quite right. We are not allowed to sit while working. I am starting to get lower back pain that I never had before.

I am looking into opportunities in Columbus. That would also be really good for the fiancee's career since she would go from working remotely to being in a major office. I spoke with one place there that is planning to expand soon and was very excited to get an unsolicited query from me. I almost wept for longing when the owner talked about how important it was to him that his employees had a good quality of life (decent pay and free time).

Sounds like your shop needs a 3rd shift, none of this 2x12hr nonsense.

I worked 3am to 10am/noon shifts at the last bake shop that employed me. This was during my girlfriend's last year of college - we barely saw each other, despite "sharing" a bed. I was eating dinner at 4 or 5pm, asleep by 7pm, when she was often still out for theatre or studying, etc. It takes a mental and social toll. Even if you have the physical capability to do the shift, it wears on you if it doesn't work with the schedule in the rest of your world.

Sounds like you need to have a sit-down with the boss, and tell him if you can't switch shifts or figure out another solution at that brewery, you'll have to move on.

You're obviously a self-aware and analytical guy. You can fix this.

Zomby Woof wrote: Are you familiar with a guy named Chopper?

Nope.

Zomby Woof wrote:

Beer Baron wrote: My boss also does not communicate with us, and it drives me nuts. I come in Saturday night, and I'm flying blind. The protocol sheets for the batches we are going to be doing are never printed out. If there are special instructions for us, they are either relayed "telephone" style through another coworker, or written down on a single note that is probably lost or hidden, and with no indication given that there *is* a note that needs to be found/read.

Normal.

Just because it's common doesn't mean it's right.

This shop sounds poorly run.

Not everyone is cut out for the midnight or swing shift. I'm one, for instance. I like to get up early, like 6AM, and hit the hay by around 10PM. I tried a 11PM-7AM 5 nights a week shift many years back, inside a month I was much like you describe. Since then I have never applied for a job with that kind of schedule. It was described to me many years ago as 'larks' and 'owls'. I'm a lark.

I've also had friends who thrived on that kind of schedule, for instance both my stepbrothers work at a big paper plant near here. They work all kinds of screwy nighttime hours and are happy with it. They are owls.

The point is, it can be nearly impossible to 'make' your body do something that far outside its 'normal' rhythms. Is it really worth it to go on punishing yourself and at some point maybe making a mistake which could get you fired, or even worse?

Also, if my boss were to call me at home and crawl my ass for not clocking out (a fairly minor infraction, honestly) then threaten to write me up, I'd call that a Distant Early Warning and start circling the wagons.

It's not admitting defeat, it's identifying there are underlying issues beyond those which you have control - and those issues are in turn leading to a situation in which it is difficult for you to perform at the required level 100% of the time.

Get that resume brushed up, send them out, and hit up every contact you have for leads.

If the next job leads to similar feelings and/or situations, then it's time to reevaluate your career.

alex wrote: Sounds like your shop needs a 3rd shift, none of this 2x12hr nonsense. Sounds like you need to have a sit-down with the boss, and tell him if you can't switch shifts or figure out another solution at that brewery, you'll have to move on. You're obviously a self-aware and analytical guy. You can fix this.

We are 24/7 production. We have 4 shifts. 3 days x 12hours and 1 day x 6.

I feel like sitting down with the boss is the way to go. Just not sure what to say. Actually, I have already decided to move on. My plan had been to do so when we go back to 24/5 and have 3 crews working 8-hour shifts (we'd have extra manpower, and I could bow out gracefully). This is supposed to happen sometime around November, but they haven't given us a firm timeline. I suspect it will be more like February. I'm not certain I can hold out that long. More specifically, I can tough it out, I just don't know that me in "toughing it out" mode is up to the standards they expect.

I could see about swapping schedules with someone, but I would feel bad about making life tough on someone else. The only person who could reasonably do it, was on graveyard before the schedule change.

Curmudgeon wrote: Not everyone is cut out for the midnight or swing shift. I'm one, for instance. I like to get up early, like 6AM, and hit the hay by around 10PM. I tried a 11PM-7AM 5 nights a week shift many years back, inside a month I was much like you describe. Since then I have never applied for a job with that kind of schedule. It was described to me many years ago as 'larks' and 'owls'. I'm a lark.

I did okay on swing, 3pm-11pm. Well... not the first two weeks. A week and a half in, I made a stupid, careless mistake. It happened right around 10pm, which is when I had been used to going to sleep. Brain switched off, I undid the clamp above a valve instead of below it and opened up a tank of yeast.

My body naturally wants to sleep 11pm~7am. Give or take an hour or so in any direction.

During my internship at another brewery, I did better when I had to be in to work at 5am. I also had the benefit of being allowed to drink coffee while I worked.

Beer Baron wrote: I have a harder time with being on my feet for that length of time. It is all spent standing on concrete in steel-toed, rubber boots that don't fit quite right.

First question - if this is already a known source of problems, why are you still wearing these boots? You're making it harder on yourself.

Beer Baron wrote: I am starting to get lower back pain that I never had before.

You might want to go visit the quack and get that checked out. Lower back pain might be stress related, or it might be caused by other factors that your employer might have to sort out.

BoxheadTim wrote:

Beer Baron wrote: I have a harder time with being on my feet for that length of time. It is all spent standing on concrete in steel-toed, rubber boots that don't fit quite right.

First question - if this is already a known source of problems, why are you still wearing these boots? You're making it harder on yourself.

Beer Baron wrote: I am starting to get lower back pain that I never had before.

You might want to go visit the quack and get that checked out. Lower back pain might be stress related, or it might be caused by other factors that your employer might have to sort out.

They are the safety boots provided for us. This is a wet, hazardous environment. We are constantly dealing with things like hot water and industrial cleaning chemicals being dumped on the floor.

The back pain is noticeably related to standing on hard, uneven floors in bad boots. I can lessen it significantly by doing stretches during my shift.

Columbus sounds awesome.

I have already made a very promising contact with a brewery in Columbus. They do not need someone quite yet, but say they will by the fall. He also said that they would be willing/able to hire "the right person" a bit earlier if they needed to start sooner.

Do you think it would look bad if I approached them and said, "I want to try to move things ahead faster than I originally planned because I am just not able to function up to standard working graveyard shift, and I think my current employer would be better served getting someone in my position who does better with those hours"?

Did you bring that to your supervisor's attention? If the ill-fitting boots cause you health problems they'd need to know about that (of course if they're willing to do anything about that is a different issue).

Got any chance to provide your own safety boots that fit?

In reply to Beer Baron:

I don't think that would be bad.

I'm with Timmy, you gotta figure out how to either make the boots you got fit by adding/adjusting insoles or get a better fitting pair of boots. That sounds like a killer on the feets.

benzbaronDaryn wrote: I'm with Timmy, you gotta figure out how to either make the boots you got fit by adding/adjusting insoles or get a better fitting pair of boots. That sounds like a killer on the feets.

I have added insoles. Part of the problem is that I have weird shaped feet. A good shoe store explained that I have a low-volume foot. Basically, my foot is much less thick/tall than average. Thick insoles mostly add height to the heel. I need to add more height under the arch and ball of my foot.

Just finding regular boots/shoes that fit properly is tough enough. There is a lot less variation in the shape of rubber boots.

So far the best I have been able to make work is the thickest Dr. Schole's inserts I can find combined with REI "expedition weight" wool socks.

I didn't have nearly these problems when I was only working an 8-hour shift, either. Stress could well be a factor.

Beer Baron wrote: I have already made a very promising contact with a brewery in Columbus. They do not need someone quite yet, but say they will by the fall. He also said that they would be willing/able to hire "the right person" a bit earlier if they needed to start sooner. Do you think it would look bad if I approached them and said, "I want to try to move things ahead faster than I originally planned because I am just not able to function up to standard working graveyard shift, and I think my current employer would be better served getting someone in my position who does better with those hours"?

I don't think that would be bad at all.

Columbus is fun, you should move here.