It's been a weird set of days here folks. And for those of you that have yet to stop reading my tales of woe, or incredible luck (both good and bad) you know I deliver the stories. I have....another one.
So, roughly two weeks ago, I woke up one fine morning to go out and have a day with swmbo, and something was a miss. My entire car, actually, was a missing! A bit of digging unearths the fact that my trusty corolla (which had been sidelined by a lack of functional brake lines) had been towed due to lapsed registration. I ain't registering what I ain't driving. So, that's a bit of a problem. Figure out where said car is towed and go on down to ye Olde impounde. After giving over a considerable amount of Benjamin Franklins face on paper money (including an extra 50$ because it was presidents day! With storage fees being 20 bucks a day, it would have been 30$ cheaper to come back the next day, but I had to work). I was given reign to my car. Good, but not. See, that whole brakes thing? Can't really drive on no brakes. Fortunately for me, there's this greasy little Shop across the way. I can limp it that far. Go and talk to Jose and Manuel (actually just Jose, Manuel does not speak a lick of english) and they agree to take on the work. And these guys are super legit. Cheap, fast, honest, and really good. That old school grease monkey that doesn't exist anymore? That's these guys.
Anyhow, a week or so goes by, and the bill keeps going up. I'm seriously considering the future of this car. But, I love this ratty ride, and it is going to be cheaper and safer to fix this than buy whatever hoopty I find on craiglist. So, Jose and Manuel are going to make it stop, and make the ac cold too. Not bad.
Fast forward a week. Last Sunday in fact. I'm at work, rather surly that I have to be on a Sunday at all (I'm a goober In a resteraunt supply shop, we don't do E36 M3 on Sunday and im bored, and it's swmbos day off, wanna do fun E36 M3, not make crap an hour) and im walking in front of our fresh meat case, when I look down, and happen to spot a little green crumpled up piece of paper. Further investigation reveals a less than crisp but no less valid, 20$ bill! Now given the day I was having, i could have turned that into two really nice 6 packs, or a bottle of gin. But i...turned it into management. Logged it, and went about my day.
Fast forward to...yesterday. I'm out snagging carts, for something to do. My eyes always wander, looks for trash, errant needles, or whatever else the denizens of orange blossom trail have to offer. (If you know orlando, you know obt. Its...incredible). And of course I spot some trash. Empty McDonald's bag, what have you. I also spot a couple cards for strippers or sex workers...perhaps both? I'm not sure. Not touching thst E36 M3. And.....I spot some green paper. Says 100 on it. I immediately suspect shenanigans. Remember when you'd walk along and see what appeared to be a 20 or something on the ground, pick it up, and all it was was a bait and switch for a comic about jesus?
Yeah no. This was real, and there was two of them. I found 200$ cash in my parking lot. Now, given that my car is pretty berkeleyed up, this is a bounty. But...not my bounty. That's either some guys sex money, or its someone's grocery money. Either way it's not my money. So, I turned it in. Management at this point is confused as hell how i kept finding money. Me too. Next thing you know, I'm gonna find 2 grand in a diaper or some E36 M3.
Today reveals that if no one claims the now 220$ ive found, i get it keep it. Neat. Come home, tired. Door knock. Double Neat! A while back, swmbo decided I needed new sunglasses. As my eyes and head are picky as hell and I have a pretty low tolerance to sun and a predilection for migraines (florida. High pressure, high sun, perfect for me!) I need these things, and she wanted to spend money. So, she ordered me a merica themed pair of oakleys. I'm figuring this is them. Open the box, nope, its the cleaning kit. Good anyhow, it has a merica theme cloth. Check it out, go back to kicking my kids ass at garden warfare 2. (Mndsm on xb1, if you're into it.) Door knocks again. Well, wouldn't you know it, it's another box from oakley! Gotta be my shades. Open the box, and the bag says Batwolf in it. Ok...maybe a missed bag, but no big deal. Pull them out and.....
Yep, thems some oakley batwolfs. Nice, but not my favorite shape, and sure as hell the wrong color. MI ordered clear straightlinks with blue ear socks, red lenses, and gold oakley logos. Merica! A bit of digging reveals that this pair, while nice, and in a box with my name, are not for me. They're for someone by the name od daniel...something. in germany. Poor daniel. Needs his shades to look cool and unpimp ze auto. Alright. Time to call oakley.
Swmbo calls, while I'm teaching my kid the meaning of pain. Comes out and says...you know how the universe keeps trying to give you money?
Yeah. Turns out, my sunglasses are still in process. Custom and all. And normally, id return these and go about my day. But....because this was an international order, there isn't much of anything they can do. So....now I have a free pair of oakley batwolfs, and in a week or so, i will have my straight links. I'm contemplating tracking down Daniel via Facebook or whatever and seeing if I can get him these, but oakley has assured me that theyre taking care of him. So...yeah. free oakleys, maybe 200$, and I found an honest mechanic. I'm buying lotto tickets tomorrow.
Edit- ok im done. I can't take this.
I stalked Daniel on facebook. I found him. I found him wearing a pair of batwolfs. I found him wearing a pair of batwolfs, and owning a Volkswagen golf. On 18s. Remember the unpimp ze auto joke? Yeah......I sorta accidentally nailed it.
You should send Daniel a pic of you wearing his glasses.
here is Daniel's Volkswagen. It's not a bad looking car, though those have never been my favorite set of wheels. I still haven't sent him a pic of myself in his glasses, yet. I doNY much care for pictures of me, so they're rare, and even less likely of me to take one. In other news, I may not actually be done with the saga. Got my straightlinks last night
I'm stoked on them. But when I put them on.....the lenses do not appear to be polarized. There's no prizm logo on them and they don't make my phone look all weird like the batwolfs did. I'm thinking tomorrow I brave the florida mall and attempt to discern if i have polarized ones or not. Oakley store to the rescue!
at least I have a super sweet merica bag for them.
