Having "debates" where the two candidates discuss the "issues" is all well and good, but I'm convinced it doesn't truly demonstrate the full character of who we're voting for. Please take this opportunity to discuss alternate methods that you would favor for determining the president.
I have always thought that a cage fight should be a required part of the campaigning process.
Someone suggested entrance in the $200x challenge.
Others?
MXC Challenge
I second MXC Challenge, and also predict at the rate this country strives to make the Idiocracy prophecy a reality, we will be seeing America's Next Top President reality shows within the current generation.
Along the Idiocracy theme:
Monday Night Rehabilitation!
I love watching the outdoor games where people have to do a bunch of lumberjacking stuff, like climb up a 20' tall pole and saw the top off of it with a chainsaw.
I've long since thought that anybody who WANTS to be president should be kept far away from the White House. I've advocated that being president should be a 6-month term like jury duty: you get a summons in the mail, you get interviewed like a prospective juror, and then poof you're president.
"Awww, crap, honey, guess what: I just got a letter for President Duty..."
Foot, Cockroach, Atom Bomb...
http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/that70sshow/season6/that70sshow-624.htm
VP mud wresling
Well since the classic "cage fight" is already listed, I say:
A breakdancing competition
A Mario Kart tournament (a very good way to judge how underhanded a person can be)
And now, I'm serious, a BattleZone 2 game against the AI, with the difficulty maxed and giving the AI a good head start. This game is like an RTS, FPS and 3rd-person vehicular battle game all wrapped into one. To win, a player will have to know how to manage resources carefully, be a good strategist, have excellent situational awareness, have technical knowledge, and must be an all-around smart guy. Spread yourself too thin, you die. Put all your eggs in one basket, you die. Put your eggs in the wrong baskets, you die. Pull a Leeroy Jenkins, you die. Spend your resources on the wrong things, you die. You're perpetually low on resources so this simulates a debt-ridden economy in a country full of people who want it to run on pixie dust quite well (well that could be most countries, but the US is a prime example). I wouldn't make it the only criteria but I'd sure as hell replace the debates with it. Oh, and the final candidates have to play against each other.
I had a political science professor suggest that, rather than prepared candidates debating each other on stage, a group of people blitz them in their hotel room at 4am, wake them up, and present them with hypothetical crises.
One of the few things I was amused by Michael Moore doing, was deciding which Dem he'd support in the '04 primaries, by bringing a portable mosh-pit to each of their houses. Whoever was willing to get in and mosh with a crowd for several minutes, he'd support. One of them actually did it, but I forget who.
Deathrace, duh.
A 3 day single elimination game of Death Race!
So... which politician would win an endurance death-race?
McCain was a pilot in Vietnam, and appears to have tenacity. However, he was shot down, so his piloting skills clearly aren't that good.
Barrack is black, so he must have some experience with drive-bys. He might lack some of the cunning to fight as dirty as required. Also, I'm not sure he can get a helmet on over those ears.
Palin appears to be good with guns. But she lacks experience. Also, coming from Alaska, she probably lacks experience with high-speed grip driving that would be required.
Biden is seasoned and cunning. However, he doesn't look like he'd be willing to put it all on the line and take chances. He lacks the dynamic cunning to pull a surprise that will upset his rivals.
Hillary is just the sort of crazy to pull a move like the villains of any mortal race. I can picture her with a Greek chariot trying to carve the spokes out of Ben Hur's wheels. However, like every other crazy race villain, she's so crazy and out for blood that she's destined to fall prey to her own traps when focused more on taking the other drivers out than where her own vehicle is headed.
Each candidate to wear a pair of baggy wool pants tied off at the ankles. An undemesticated weasel is then placed inside the candidate pants and the belt cinched tight and the goal to endure the weasel for the longest amount of time. The vice presidential candidates time is devided by 4 and added to their running mate's. The candidate with the most time wins. I didn't make this up, it is a tradition in Scotland (where else?)
Also see Turkish olive oil wrestling, or perhaps a mega-squirt trouble shooting competition.
To answer Salanis's question:
Palin. Hands-down. She's got the attitude of a winner, and a killer...unless we're including 3rd party candidates, in which case Cynthia Commie McKinney would win for sure. She's berkeleying insane, and hates white people (a group that Obama would most certainly be included in according to her,) which trumps all other attributes. I'm pretty sure she'd have to drive an automatic though.
Salanis wrote: Hillary is just the sort of crazy to pull a move like the villains of any mortal race. I can picture her with a Greek chariot trying to carve the spokes out of Ben Hur's wheels. However, like every other crazy race villain, she's so crazy and out for blood that she's destined to fall prey to her own traps when focused more on taking the other drivers out than where her own vehicle is headed.
My favorite description of democracy is that its the least worst form of government we have come up with so far.
FWIW, the U.S. is a Republic.
Apparently we were all wrong about who'd win the death race. It isn't one of the candidates...
It's Cindy McCain!
http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080713/NEWS0206/807130415
McCain's eye for the track comes from years of racing herself. In 2004, she and her oldest son, Jack, rebuilt a drift car themselves and began racing as the only mother-and-son team on the circuit. Drift racers deliberately skid their rear tires around turns until the car begins drifting sideways.
http://www.usnews.com/blogs/washington-whispers/2008/5/30/for-cindy-mccain-the-fun-is-in-the-fast-lane.html
In defensive-driving courses at Bondurant, Cindy rammed the cars of mock bad guys and took out roadblocks. "She was steady as a rock," says Mike McGovern, the school's chief instructor.
I think Cindy is giving me a boner.
You guys are making this way too complicated. Drop them in a labyrinth. First one out wins. It's the best mix of endurance, intelligence, decision-making, cunning, and luck.
Good ol' fashion English fox hunt. Replace foxes with candidates. First one to reach a designated 'safe zone' without being mauled or shot, wins.
Texas hold 'em tournament. (I reckon Obama can pull a mean poker face.)
Edit: Knew I had a picture for this somewhere.
Full house, motherberkeleyers
Type Q wrote: My favorite description of democracy is that its the least worst form of government we have come up with so far.
Sir Winston Churchill said: It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
captainzib wrote: I think Cindy is giving me a boner.
EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Poopy-FTW!
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