Anybody else use FMLA?

I've had FMLA in place for about 2 years now because of my wife's medical condition. I only get about 6 days of sick time a year, so the intermittent FMLA has been there to help me out when I run out. My company has never given me any problems even when it's to the point that I call of once or twice a week for a couple weeks in a row. I don't like taking the time off of work because I know it probably doesn't look good, but I'm stuck in a position where I don't know what to do.

I have two co-workers that are friends of mine and one has gotten pretty salty about it. He's one of those types of people that isn't really sympathetic towards others, but he still shows some concern. He basically has told me that I need to tell my wife to "man the berkeley up" and take care of herself, because I need to work. He has shown some concern about me losing my job over the FMLA leave, says he doesn't want to see it happen. This morning he tried to call me and I texted him that I was at the ER and I would call him later, then he texts me "Don't bother" Oh, ok. Then later I see he unfriended me on Facebook (not that it matters, but I can see where this is going).

The other guy is pretty sympathetic, because he's got kids and he knows that he has had to bail on work numerous times to take care of the wife and kids. Lately he's also been showing concern about the same thing; me losing my job over all the FMLA leave.

Now I've got both of them telling me (because I know they've been talking about me) that they're concerned that the company will find some other thing to fire me over to get around the FMLA. I don't doubt that could happen, but has anyone experienced such a thing or known someone who has?

I am worried about my job, but I'm also worried about taking care of my wife and trying to get her in a healthy direction. I really have no one (family wise) to help me.

That's a tough situation. The only thing I can really offer is that it will much more difficult to take care of her without an income.

My dad is on it now until Feb to take care of my mom(has 3 surgeries total this month) and didn't get any issues..... as stated, they can't fire you for using FMLA, but they could for other petty things. Instead of letting these coworkers bother you, I would just havea chat with your manager/boss/owner to see where they stand.

I have seen something similar to your situation play out before, but it wasn't the management doing it.....the coworkers were trashing the unfortunate person on FMLA so they could get them fired and a chronie of theirs hired in place.....

I'm just in a E36 M3ty situation that I'm trying to work out of. This happened to me a couple years ago before I had FMLA and my company didn't care.

I'm going to go talk to my supervisor to make sure nothings going down. Generally they have to give you the "3 strikes, your out" before they can fire you over petty things. Safety is a bigger issue, as in a automatic final written warning, but I follow all the safety rules.

I don't know what you do for a living, but is it possible with a laptop and a VPN connection you could work from home?

No I'm unfortunately a cable technician.

keep the boss informed.

DoctorBlade wrote: keep the boss informed.

This

Yes, you should keep the boss informed but you should also understand your rights in this situation. Check the rules for your company. FMLA is guaranteed time off but is typically unpaid leave unless you can utilize your existing or remainder vacation and or sick time. The nature of FMLA leave means that they cannot fire you for taking the leave, however we all understand how that can wok if you are taking time off and the boss wants to rid him/herself of you.

Some states extend the guarantees provided by FMLA so you should investigate what the options are in your state. In the interim you may decide to have a discussion with your boss but you must remember that it is not required and if you get terminated during FMLA you may have a good case.

Good luck.

A company unhappy with FMLA is much like the various age discrimination stuff. On paper, it's illegal. In reality, they get away with it.

Yamaha is right. Don't forget that the current form of "performance review" process (where they document every petty error in order to deny you much of a raise in pay) also gives your employer a "record" of alleged "failure to perform" on their part. It will be even worse if you live in a Right To Fire state.

I have had FMLA for the wife for about two years, and needed it for myself about 8 years ago after a car accident. Here are some things I have learned in that time and from the wife, who works in the personnel office at her hospital.

1). Keep your supervisors informed of you situation from time to time. If you know your wife is going to be hitting a bad spell, let them know.

2). I keep a log of when and why I took off. They are not supposed to ask why I am off but if I have problems getting it renewed in the future I will have something to bring to the medical reviewers here to fight it and if there is a problem with my leave now I can show I wasn't just using it to get time off.

3). Keep in mind you coworker's concerns may just be idle chatter. When given something to talk about they can turn into old wash women. Having someone that can take time off at will makes for good gossip speculating what what you're really doing when you say you are at the hospital.

co·work·er or co-work·er (kwûrkr) n. One who works with another; a fellow worker.

su·per·vi·sor (spr-vzr) n. 1. One who supervises. 2. One who is in charge of a particular department or unit, as in a governmental agency or school system.

Tell your co-workers to mind their own damn business and STFU. The only person you need to worry about is your supervisor. If everything is cool with that person, who cares what your co-workers think.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: He basically has told me that I need to tell my wife to "man the berkeley up" and take care of herself, because I need to work.

"She cannot do that. If you have a constructive solution, such as [shiny happy person co-worker] paying for a private nurse, I would be happy to hear it. Until then, my family comes first, and I took a vow of for better or worse. If I lose my job over it, I will find another one. Thank you for your concern."

In reply to slefain:

Well it goes past them just being coworkers. They are friends as well. One if them I made friends with after I started the company 7 years ago. The other I have been friends with for a few years and got him a job here at the company.

As for my supervisor, he knows what's up. But I think I will start keeping a log, that's not a bad idea. I already have to submit the days I take off to a third party company my company uses to keep track of the hours I take.

mtn wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: He basically has told me that I need to tell my wife to "man the berkeley up" and take care of herself, because I need to work.

"She cannot do that. If you have a constructive solution, such as [shiny happy person co-worker] paying for a private nurse, I would be happy to hear it. Until then, my family comes first, and I took a vow of for better or worse. If I lose my job over it, I will find another one. Thank you for your concern."

Yeah I've told him something similar a couple times. He doesn't get it, I would hate to see how he would treat his wife if he were in the same situation.

Thank you for putting your wife (and thus family) before work.

I don't have anything useful to add on the FMLA thing though, sorry.

'Friends' who unfriend you on FB are not the kind of friends worth having. That's high school crap.

I hope everything goes well for your wife.

I've a bit of experience with FMLA. 12 weeks per calendar year. Can be broken up. By itself it is unpaid leave, but an employer can pay you while you are on it. That part is up to the employer.

You've got a lousy co-worker, not bosses. Keep perspective. Keep the bosses happy. Don't neglect the HR type folk who are doing the recordkeeping of the FMLA.

Certainly you can be fired. Not directly for using FMLA, but other reasons can be created. Keeping bosses and such at least sympathetic if not concerned and supportive goes a long way to preventing this. Co-workers are irrelevant.