JoeyM
JoeyM GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
11/30/12 10:31 p.m.

A friend spotted this on MazdasNW. I'm pretty sure it is a hoax, but it is purported to be a craigslist ad
http://www.mazdasnw.com/showthread.php?4117-Koala-Bear-for-sale

Koala Bear for sale! Koala Bear (LA) ________________________________________ Date: 2009-09-29, 6:54PM PDT Reply to: sale-hkgwe-1399020698@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] ________________________________________ I have a three year old Koala Bear named GumNut, that I'm desperately trying to find a new home for. I bought him back in January figuring it would be an awesome pet that would enjoy living in my greenhouse, sadly I was wrong. I paid $3200 for him back in January and I'am not sure what the used Koala Bear market is like in a good economy or the one we have now; so I'am open to offers. Please use some common sense before contacting me, don't be an idiot, I'am not interested in trading my Koala Bear for your busted up 1980's Camero, your XBOX, or an offer to paint my garage door. GumNut's Stats: The Good *He is somewhat housebroken, uses a cat box most of the time. *For the most part he is very quite; this also falls into the bad category which we will touch on in a moment. *He eats spiders, (not kidding) we haven't had a spider in our house since we got him. *Hates watching Desperate Housewives, used to be my wifes favorite show until GumNut bit her for changing the channel from Jeopardy, to Desperate Housewives. *Gets along well with one of my two dogs. *Loves to go for car rides. Now for the Bad: *He eats a lot of eucalyptus, which is not as cheap as I expected. *Apparently eucalyptus is like a drug for Koala Bears, when GumNut is coming down from his high he becomes very violent and aggressive. *He raped and killed my wife's cat "Miss. Kitty'" (Honestly, I wanted to put this in the good section because I've been trying to find a way to get that worthless cat out of our house for two years, thanks GumNut.) *He does not like Asian's, I have no idea where this Koala was raised but someone of Asian Decent must have really mistreated him. *Loves Vin Diesel movies, not sure why, he just does. *Has extremely sharp claws and teeth which he uses often. *Loves shiny objects, steals and hides them frequently in my dog's ass. *He is quite, and as a result has snuck in on my wife and I during intimate moments. I mind him watching; maybe it won't bother you as much. * GumNut smells terrible and is not easy to wash. I had to hold a gas soaked rag over his mouth till he blacked out to get him in this tub for a bath. *Once he is in the water he is fine, getting him into the water is a challenge, he will scratch you, he will bite you, and you will bleed.
mndsm
mndsm PowerDork
11/30/12 10:34 p.m.

they cut off the part at the bottom where there really is a mazda listed for sale. 2009 mz3, lightly modded as i remember it.

JoeyM
JoeyM GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
11/30/12 10:37 p.m.
mndsm wrote: they cut off the part at the bottom where there really is a mazda listed for sale. 2009 mz3, lightly modded as i remember it.

sorry, I cut it....I thought that was the poster's .signature file

aussiesmg
aussiesmg UltimaDork
11/30/12 10:49 p.m.

Koalas are nasty little pricks, not the loveable darling you yanks think they are.

Grizz
Grizz SuperDork
11/30/12 11:01 p.m.

berkeleying drop bears.

Teh E36 M3
Teh E36 M3 Dork
12/1/12 10:42 p.m.

Can I borrow him just to rape and kill my cat? I'd pay rent on that E36 M3.

Teh E36 M3
Teh E36 M3 Dork
12/1/12 10:43 p.m.

Wait, is that ok to say?

JoeyM
JoeyM GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
12/2/12 1:12 a.m.

I'm sure it is cheaper to borrow the neighbor's dog

neon4891
neon4891 UltimaDork
12/2/12 9:56 a.m.

poopshovel
poopshovel UltimaDork
12/2/12 11:40 a.m.
you yanks

You talk funny, boy.

aussiesmg
aussiesmg UltimaDork
12/2/12 7:57 p.m.
poopshovel wrote:
you yanks
You talk funny, boy.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker
Giant Purple Snorklewacker MegaDork
12/2/12 8:35 p.m.

I laughed at the gas soaked rag bit but rape is never funny unless you are raping a clown.

The_Jed
The_Jed Dork
12/3/12 8:12 a.m.

Funny, eh?

The_Jed
The_Jed Dork
12/3/12 8:13 a.m.

I rented that movie thinking it would be a comedy...it was not.

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