Just curious. I have been told pointing (in the US at least) is considered rude. I have never assumed that, but that seems to be why politicians like to the stupid thumb pointy thing.
The explanation I found that was that it somehow implies blame, for some, random, thing? Or it's someone casting a hex. Neither seem terrible powerful to me.
Thoughts?
In many cultures gesturing with one finger is rude. So they point with 2 or three fingers.
Definitely a context kind of thing. If it's in a way that tries to elicit 'superiority' of the pointer over the pointee, then yeah, it rubs me the wrong way. Otherwise it doesn't bother me in the least.
Except finger guns. Those are always acceptable.
I've made three business trips to Penang Malaysia and our travel service has a cultural etiquette department...I was advised to keep all four of my fingers together when pointing.
Having said that, Malaysians are pretty chill and know that cultural norms vary so I doubt anyone would get too bent out of shape if I goofed up.
I don't mind being Harrison Forded.
If you smoke a pipe and you use it to point at people when you're telling them something, they will believe anything you say.
I point with my elbows because I don't remember everywhere my fingers have been.
As in all areas of life, it depends.
Points at chin: You have some gravy on your chin there. OK.
Points at pants: Those are very cool pants. OK.
Points at face: You are a berkeleying shiny happy person and I'm going to punch you right in your stupid face. Depends. Was I being a berkeleying shiny happy person?
Points at kitchen: Sweetie, can you go get me a glass of water? Never OK. You got a piano tied to your ass?
Pointing at someone and calling them an a-hole is certainly rude, but I suspect that is mostly the "a-hole" part. But just pointing?
Which guy? That guy (pointing). Is that rude?
I point with the wrong finger. Most use their index finger but I have always used my middle finger. As a pointer not an upright insult. Not sure why.
On the rudeness scale, I would assign it a position near the lower end. Rude perhaps, but not extremely rude.
I don't find it rude.
Not rude by itself IMO. In certain contexts combined with certain dialogue, it certainly has potential to be rude, but the pointing is likely not the primary culprit.
We have multiple digits, individual control over those digits, advanced brains, and are proficient at using non-verbal communication to supplement/enhance our verbal communication...I'm pretty sure if the pointing isn't accompanied by the utterance of "That person!" or worse, not rude.
aircooled said:Which guy? That guy (pointing). Is that rude?
That guy: "What do you want?"
It may draw unwanted attention to yourself when pointing at someone you don't know.
Pointing at someone you are having a personal conversation with may or may not be OK as listed above. Pointing at your fat friend while beeping like a backup alarm may or may not be funny to your friend.
Pointing at a stranger while talking about them with another person is considered to be rude. If you are pointing at a fat lady while beeping like a backup alarm to your friends, you are probably a jerk.
I was always taught that pointing at people, especially with the index finger, was rude regardless of context.
Obviously not everyone feels that way, but I personally prefer to err on the side of caution around strangers.
Nicole Suddard said:I was always taught that pointing at people, especially with the index finger, was rude regardless of context.
Obviously not everyone feels that way, but I personally prefer to err on the side of caution around strangers.
This. ^^^^^
It seems to be something taught to children before they're old enough to understand subtlety and context, in order to minimize chances that they'll do or say something embarrassing.
I agree it is best to err on the side of politeness when strangers are involved.
I personally don't find it insulting unless it's intended to be insulting, in which case I'm not particularly inclined to give a crap about the person or their reasons for pointing at me.
It does "seem" like (isolated) pointing is considered rude mostly because people are taught it is rude, with no real rational. Obviously, many culturally rude thing have pretty light justifications, but there usually is something.
Now, you might say, if you give someone the finger, that is rude, but has no generally known solid basis. I would say though that the middle finger is pretty universally known to be intentionally rude, and has no other real purpose, so there can be pretty obvious implied intent.
Pointing though, very much has a use that is very practical and understood.
precisely why I NEVER point by...
Just kidding. I feel that pointing has much more subcontext to it in terms of rude vs acceptable. Some Jackwagon pointing at me to cash his tab out at the bar? Rude as hell. Someone beside me in the deli line pointing the clerk at me because its my turn? Totally acceptable and appreciated! A kid pointing at me because he thinks blipshift is a funny word on my shirt? I agree, point away!
If you point using your entire hand you aren't pointing, you are directing someone's attention. Although, if you still call them an A-hole it might still be taken as rude.
Is it less rude if you block it with your other hand?
What about pointing and laughing?
I do it when idiots do something idiotic. Sadly I find myself doing it more often as I get older.
Think the jerk that passes you on double yellows when you are already 10 over and you round the bend to see him crashed out 2 miles later.
A car leaving C&C and hitting the median or worse during their exiting burnout.
Maybe I am an ass, I don't know.
I point in my English accent. That way everyone thinks I'm being polite even if it's my middle finger pointing skywards.
20 years ago when I was in Africa, I was working with a Kenyan officer. He explained that in most of the world it is rude to point. For any military officer that fall under the Queen (British) influence, they all had small riding crops or sticks. Some were very ornate and many had family heritage etc. He said it was much nicer to use a stick to point when commanding your troops is much more polite. I explain that pointing with a stick in the US military would get that stick inserted into a bodily orfice. But I did make and effort to try and gesture with my whole hand when possible.
You could always try the good ole knifehand, remove all doubt when it's intended to be angry by taking it off safety. :D
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