Bipolar?

Jensenman wrote: Do NOT make the mistake she made, which was to think, when she was 'up', that she had everything completely under control because she did NOT. That's when bipolar people really need help the most. It is a wise man who learns from the mistakes of others. Get professional help and dammit stick with it!

Both of these bear repeating when dealing with bipolar disorder.

You have a PM.

Prozac is very likely the cause of your rapid cycling. It is known to be bad bad bad for BPD. Any anti-depressant is going to either induce a low or cause rapid cycling. Anti-convulsives are a much better choice when dealing with BPD, as they don't cause rapid-cycling. Depakote is the go-to drug in that family.

Depakote zombified me. I didn't feel like myself at all, I had no will power, I wouldn't really get out of bed for days.

We've gone to a lot of other drugs, but we keep coming back to prozac because it works for me. It's when I miss a few days that I begin to cycle. Taking my meds is one of my biggest struggles.

My doc does want me to exercise more. Working hard makes me feel a lot better. Last week, I made 2 trips to the dump and cleaned up our front yard quite a bit. On Saturday, we went to Orlando, and on Sunday, both the wife and I got sick. That meant we both sat at home and did nothing. That sent me down the rabbit hole.

That was one of the hardest things I had to do; try to motivate my wife, get her up and moving when all she wanted to do was sit and stare at the walls or lay in the bed all day. I was having like ~no~success and really felt like I had failed her. A good friend of mine who has a bipolar brother told me that I should not beat up on myself over it, that motivation must come from within and you know what? He is exactly right. I had to make the determination that I was either going to 1) live like she does for the rest of our lives, 2) force her to get help (since she would not stay at it on her own), or 3) leave.

Number one was not an option, particularly not since my daughter was involved. I tried number two, she worked at it for a while then dug her heels in and refused to try any more. (Gawdamighty, I HATED having to push her when she was so obviously down. ) That left number three (which she forced by starting drinking again while going completely off her meds).

Why am I telling you (and the whole world) about this? It's because at some point those who love and care about you can get fed up, no matter how much they care. That means you could wind up alone if you do not make the concerted and very difficult effort to straighten this out. Is that really what you want?

Bipolar has both a chemical and an emotional component. The chemical part can be treated, but the emotional is all up to you.

It is up to you to make the moves to break out of entrenched habits of thought. You must force the willpower to the surface; it's in there. No one else can do it for you. No it is NOT easy. No it is NOT fun. But no matter the difficulty or pain, you MUST do it, or risk the loss of everything you really hold dear.

Weigh that terrible possibility against the difficulty. Which one is better?

If you haven't, ask your doc about trying Lamictal, as far as I can tell its working well for me without any nasty side effects, ymmv of course. I'm far more stable than I ever used to be with it. Its only recently been approved for Bipolar, but its supposed to be the best thing since lithium.

Lamictal seemed like a placebo to me.

I'm making improvements. Honestly, it helps to talk about it. I need to find a group that meets in a less structured setting. In the end, I need some close friends. Right now, all I have is my wife, and I just don't really know how to go out and make friends.

I need to get outside again. I have a bicycle I need to tune up and start riding. Plenty of trails, plenty of people on them.

That's the spirit! Warning: the hard part (which is also by far the most important) will be to stick with it even when problems seem insurmountable.