BoostedBrandon
BoostedBrandon Reader
6/24/11 10:05 p.m.

I've got this frequent customer at the parts store that drives this ATROCIOUS Toyota Celica. It's painted some sortof road barrell orange, and has flat black, um, scallops and broken stripes on it, I think. Every time I see it, its gained some sortof new detail. Oh, and a body kit.

He comes in and constantly is buying little plastic body trinkets, those razor-shaped looking fender things, special edition on the hatch, or God knows what else. It's got some sortof crappy 15 inch Pep Boys wheels on it, chrome wiper blades, and to top it all off. A supercharger.

Well, a supercharger in the sense that it's a fan that blows air into the engine, one of those E36 M3ty electric leaf blower things that goes into the airducting. Best of all is this guy's appearance. He comes in wearing khaki pants and a polo, and usually loafers of some sort. If you just saw his mugshot on a driver's license or something, with his haircut, you'd assume he was wearing a member's only jacket. I'm gonna let that one sink in for a moment.

It takes everything I have to keep from looking at this guy and saying:

ahem

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT! YOU LOOK RETARDED!!! YOU'VE GOT A LEAF BLOWER ATTACHED TO A LIFE SIZE TRAPPER KEEPER ON WHEELS!"

I know I'd be in some deep heat with the company, but my God would it make me feel better. If he knew that we called "shotgun, not it!" when he walks in the door, and we laugh when he pulls out, I doubt he would come back.

If I could sneak some pics of the car, I would. I cannot describe it's appearance justly.

I feel much better now. /rant.

John Brown
John Brown GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
6/24/11 10:14 p.m.

It's okay... if he were doing it to a real car (one that is not a Toyota) then you are allowed to be offended. That's what Celicas were made for!

fasted58
fasted58 HalfDork
6/24/11 10:15 p.m.

cash is good... even for plastic trinkets

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
6/24/11 10:16 p.m.

This thread is worthless without pics. But, I do feel your pain. We have our share of wackos, but you gotta roll with the punches with retail. He pays money for that plastic E36 M3, so why not sell it to him with a smile? Hell, upsell him on E36 M3 he doesn't have on that car. Hook a man up with some neon and a steering wheel cover.

RexSeven
RexSeven SuperDork
6/24/11 10:22 p.m.

Pics or ban. NAO.

JoeyM
JoeyM SuperDork
6/24/11 10:27 p.m.
EastCoastMojo wrote: Hook a man up with some neon and a steering wheel cover.

...and a bigger spoiler, they love that stuff.

Derick Freese
Derick Freese Dork
6/24/11 11:07 p.m.

My only advice in this situation is that you shouldn't bite too hard. I know it's hard, but I've done some damage to my tongue to keep from going off on an idiot like this guy.

Zomby woof
Zomby woof SuperDork
6/24/11 11:09 p.m.

Everybody needs a hobby. If he's happy with that POS, then more power to him.

914Driver
914Driver SuperDork
6/25/11 7:47 a.m.

He spends money in your store. Explain the problem again.

njansenv
njansenv HalfDork
6/25/11 7:52 a.m.

^This. It's a free country, he's not doing any harm, right?

You DO know how 'non-car' people feel about the cars we drive, right?

92CelicaHalfTrac
92CelicaHalfTrac SuperDork
6/25/11 8:06 a.m.

Thanks for letting me know how you really feel. I won't be in there to buy parts for my orange Celica again.

Racer1ab
Racer1ab Reader
6/25/11 8:40 a.m.

I think most of the "serious" car enthusiasts need to grow up a bit.

Like it's been said above, he's not hurting anyone, let him have his fun.

He may think standing around in a parking lot or paying a couple hundred bucks to drive around a racetrack is dumb. Let that sink in for a minute.

integraguy
integraguy SuperDork
6/25/11 8:57 a.m.

Interesting.... You don't mention his age, but it sounds like he's :

A.) a 12 year old from the '80s, stuck in some kind of time worp.

B.) A recent immigrant from a country where walking was considered to be "upscale transportation".

C.) someone who doesn't even have taste in his mouth....much less his eyes.

D.) and I hope for your sake this isn't THE answer.....he has a "man crush" on you and has to have some excuse to visit your store, and adding ever more tacky "accessories" to his ride is one way to get to see you.

93EXCivic
93EXCivic SuperDork
6/25/11 9:08 a.m.
njansenv wrote: ^This. It's a free country, he's not doing any harm, right? You DO know how 'non-car' people feel about the cars we drive, right?

Does mean we can't make fun of it. And non-car people are idiots.

ditchdigger
ditchdigger HalfDork
6/25/11 11:16 a.m.
integraguy wrote: D.) and I hope for your sake this isn't THE answer.....he has a "man crush" on you and has to have some excuse to visit your store, and adding ever more tacky "accessories" to his ride is one way to get to see you.

Quite a possibility. I mean it does seem like he is trying to look his best for the OP.

Think of it like that and it is quite flattering really. I mean this dude keeps coming in and throwing away money on useless ugly bits-n-bobs just to catch a little eye contact with you. And just like how you are supposed to wear that ugly sweater that was a gift whenever you are around the person who gave it to you he has gone so far as to attach them to his car, suffering public ridicule to show you he cares.

He sounds dreamy, You should go for it.

DoctorBlade
DoctorBlade HalfDork
6/25/11 11:50 a.m.

+1 on the Neon. Otherwise, who cares? Everyone who works retail has a story about the weird customer. Most of them are harmless enough.

AquaHusky
AquaHusky Reader
6/25/11 1:51 p.m.

I'd take his money with a grin and say, ''Cool ride, bro.'' and leave it at that. But, I feel your pain as I wish they could see just what 90% of the population sees. Non-car guys laugh at those cars, too.

BoostedBrandon
BoostedBrandon Reader
6/25/11 2:00 p.m.

Its not so much that he buys the stuff, which is good that he's buying stuff, its the way he carries himself. Likes he's hot E36 M3, driving a hot car. He came in, bringing in some printoffs of some intake tube parts saying "so, I'm putting a supercharger on my car, and I need to make some of this stuff work" while looking at me through his shades. That's right, he's so cool he wears his shades indoors.

I wanted to ask him if his Supercharger was made by Con Air.

If I see it at a neighboring garage soon, I'll try to sneak some pics, he takes it over there every time a check engine light comes on, which it always is.

novaderrik
novaderrik Dork
6/25/11 2:05 p.m.

it sounds to me like this guy is going everything he possibly can to make his car as stupid as possible, and that it's all some sort of an ironic joke in his mind..

i bet that he's got a magnet on his fuel line. if not, you should sell him one..

Rufledt
Rufledt HalfDork
6/25/11 3:36 p.m.
novaderrik wrote: it sounds to me like this guy is going everything he possibly can to make his car as stupid as possible, and that it's all some sort of an ironic joke in his mind.. i bet that he's got a magnet on his fuel line. if not, you should sell him one..

Don't forget to sell him some LEDs to stick onto everything. Moar lights means moar power.

mad_machine
mad_machine GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
6/25/11 5:19 p.m.

when you see him come in.. sneak out the back and snap some pics..

I will admit.. when I was 17 and had my first car.. I did some questionable mods to the body of my superbeetle.. most of them involving removing the rear body apron to fit a type4 engine from a 914..

but I also painted the while sheetmetal area around the side windows black. From the mirror area to where it flows down into the fender. Gave it a sorta beige racoon look

confuZion3
confuZion3 SuperDork
6/25/11 5:51 p.m.

I saw a late 90s Nissan Maxima (the base model) with a plaque that said "Racing Edition" on the side. Racing Edition. What the heck is a racing edition? Even race cars don't have plaques that say Racing Edition (although, as I am writing this, I am considering putting a pair on my Miata for track days ).

Some people only care about what other people think about them. If they don't have the money to buy an orange Lamborghini to drive to the local Starbucks in (and up and down the street in front of Starbucks), they buy whatever they can for $1,000 (like most of us?) and then spend $2,000 on plastic chrome-looking bits to stick on the car wherever paint dares to display itself. Then they install body kits and proceed to destroy them. Immediately.

Meh. Whatever floats their proverbial boats. It doesn't hurt anybody and it's usually pretty funny.

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