#DADJOKE

Pappa mole goes up the hole... "Smells like jelly"

Mamma mole goes up the hole...."Smells like jam"

Baby mole goes up the hole....."Smells like Moleasses to me"

ultraclyde said:

thatsnowinnebago said:

A family of tomatoes is walking down the road. Mommy tomato, daddy tomato and Junior. The youngest kept dawdling and falling behind. The family was in a bit of a rush so the daddy tomato kept telling his kid to hurry. The kid kept ignoring him and falling farther and father back. Finally, the dad tomato had enough. He ran back, smashed junior tomato and yelled "KETCHUP!"

That's the joke from Pulp Fiction!

 

 

That's where I heard it! Thank you! I've been trying to remember where it came from.

In reply to thatsnowinnebago :

Fox Force Five 

My dad still points out every electrical transfer station we pass while driving and says "put your hands on the window to feel the pain!"

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interrupting coefficient of friction.

Interrupting coeff...

Mu!!!!

When I take the dog out through the garage, she sits and waits until the garage door is fully open. I trained her to do this and she is very good at it. But for some reason, every time that she's sitting there waiting, she also yawns.

So when my kids are around, I say, "Sit. Stay. Yawn. Good girl!"

The kids are convinced that I’ve taught the dog to yawn on my command.

A young boy asks his grandfather "Do old cowboys wear boxers or briefs?"  The grandfather replied "Depends."

OMG SO FUNNY!  My best dad joke ever came from my wife.  We were driving past a prison along I-95 and I pointed and said that I had equipment in there.  (meaning I sold stuff that was installed in there)  My wife, who hadn't told a joke in 18 years together, says "why? what did it do?"  

Did you know that the first French fries weren't cooked in France don't you?

They were cooked in Greece.

I was really focusing on the baseball.  Then it hit me...

Why don’t oysters share their pearls?  They are shellfish.

In a meeting at work we were talking about the hourly pay rates and how they go from K0 to K9, with various rates attached to each. I made the comment that once you get to K9 you must be the top dog...

Ha! 

I just mooned all of you!

Me: Guess what?

Dad: Chicken snot. 

chrispy said:

Pete Gossett said:

We were driving down the interstate by farmland & been on the road for hours. I nodded toward a pasture filled with bales & said “hey...”

They groaned over that one, so I still do it when they’re unsuspecting. 

I got my wife with this on our first road trip as husband and wife; we still do this 17 years later and now the kids get into it.  I also like to point out hydroelectric facilities with a loud "Dam"!

My wife and I do the same thing.  It's a race to see who gets there first.  Also, one dam sighting and we're all about the dam jokes for the next dam hour.

What do you a call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

Trans_Maro said:

What do you a call a dog with no legs?

 

It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

Saw this one earlier today (and I'm stealing it):

Did you hear about the midget clairvoyant who escaped from prison?

Small medium, at large.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

A: Elephino (hell if I know)