Dads, Aging, and still being a Dad (NC Hobie sailboat content)

I know, like me, many of you enjoy sailing and several have Hobie catamarans.  I was down at my homeplace on the coast of southern North Carolina last week sailing my boat with my Dad and kids.  This was the first outing for the boat and the first Hobie either Dad or I ever sailed.  We ended up offshore a ways and in moderate wind and roughly 6 foot waves when the mast broke off and drug everything but the people overboard.  I wrote a more detailed account for my own records that I considered posting, but it's a two-pager. 

Long story short, we did meet the Coast Guard and Police, but we survived, made it to shore, did an emergency bodge on the beach, and sailed home without assistance, using only our (Dad's) own skill.  The week ended with a properly fixed mast, but a blown out sail. 

My Dad is getting up there in years and his Indiana Jones lifestyle has left him a little ragged, but the sad thing is (for both of us), 40-something year olds are now able to keep up with him - myself included... finally.  He always has the right answer.  He always knows what to do.  He never panics or lacks confidence.  He always gives good advice.  Not only was I impressed that he's still willing and able to launch a beach cat in the surf, but his as sharp as ever when it comes to problem solving.  It also occurred to me that despite the passing years, he's a great-grandpa now and I have my own kids that look to me for guidance, I feed myself and others... it occurred to me that he's not just my father, but he's still my Dad, if that makes sense.  I thought that part of our relationship was over, but maybe it lasts forever.  That's a good thing.  He's given me a lot of life skills and know-how that's been invaluable to me and is largely responsible for my success.  He did introduce me to MGs and Triumphs, though, so maybe every bit of direction wasn't perfect.  I can fix cars now, so maybe that was his plan.

Incidentally, we were sailing and I lived where TJ lives now and he doesn't know it, but he almost got a free sailboat.  I just didn't know which house was his.

I really want a sailboat.  My oldest is 15 now, and I want him to experience sailing.

Sounds an awful lot like the first time I took out my "new" 1989 Hobie almost 10 years ago. Shrouds looked great so I decided not to replace them. Starboard was fine, when we switched to a port tack we quickly found that it was not ok.

I’d like to sail. Never have. 

My Dad is 92, and starting to have dementia. It’s a bitch. 

But it makes me really grateful for the time we have had, and the time we still have. 

Don't miss a minute. 

Thread seems apropos as I sit in the Toronto airport on the way to Tampa for Dads 90th.

Pete

Enyar said:

Shrouds

Starboard was fine, when we switched to a port tack we quickly found that it was not ok.

That’s what dismasted us but there was no tacking involved, just heavy seas and lots of pressure on the shrouds.  We were cooking along about as fast as I’ve ever gone on a sailboat.  Dad was running the boat at the time and called to sheet the jib.  I pulled the jib in and the VTEC kicked in.  My son rolled up to the windward side with us and seconds later the shroud broke at the lower thimble.  The mast scuffed my brand new trampoline on the way out right where he had been lying.  And boy did we stopped on a dime once the sails filled with water.  My shrouds also looked OK.  I went to West Marine and upgraded to 5/32 and also made a new forestay in 3/16.  I don’t want there to be a “next time”.  Dad may not be around to save the day again.

In reply to Apis Mellifera :

Glad you guys all came out of that intact( ....or should I say inTACKed?)

I'm game for a free sailboat, but I'm guessing the free part was when she had no mast. In fact I've been looking for a small sailing dinghy to play around with.

We put the boat in at the marina down on West Beach and then floundered around at The Point for two or three hours trying to get out to open ocean. We needed to sail straight into the wind and the tide was coming in.  After repeatedly getting forced into the oyster beds, we jumped overboard and pushed the boat over to Holden.  We turned the boat and just cleared the tip of the island out. There were pontoon boats beached and speed boats run aground all over the place down there. We made it to 54th W. Beach when the mast let go.  The whole maybe 4 mile trip took like 5 hours.  Had West Marine not been in Wilmington and had I needed to go to Myrtle Beach for parts, I was seriously going to get in touch. After dragging the boat 500 miles down the road and then that happened, I’d had about all the fun I could stand.

This thread makes my fear of boats and water outside of bathtubs seem very, very rational.

Glad everyone is doing well, sounds exciting. I come from a family of mariners and learned to sail at about age 8. 

Never owned my own sailboat though, and haven't taught my kids.

I've de-masted 2 Hobies, a 14 and a 16. I was lucky both times that I was sailing with friends and after rolling up the sail(s) and securing the mast they just towed me to shore with their functioning Hobie. In both of my cases the shroud broke under heavy load while I was hauling ass (and possibly jumping through waves). I have also had friends who were sailing along leisurely and looked across their tramp to see their leeward shroud swinging in the breeze from a lost shackle. Note: Always carry spare shackles and line...

As my Dad is not doing well these days it was great to hear your story and how you notice the role changes (and non-changes) of your relationship. Have as many adventures with him as you can and make sure your kids know him. Every day is a gift. If that day includes sailing then it includes a bonus!

In reply to Apis Mellifera :

I refer to the point at the west end of the island as the redneck yacht club. You should see it on Memorial Day weekend. 

Fun stuff. Was out on the boat last night (fishing boat, small one) with my older brother and my dad. Some of the best times I've ever had are sitting in a boat with dad. 

BTW, if anyone is interested in a very unique project sailboat, let me know. 1960's Starcraft Skylark. Comes with trailer.

mtn said:

BTW, if anyone is interested in a very unique project sailboat, let me know. 1960's Starcraft Skylark. Comes with trailer.

That looks like a C scow, a sunfish and a Hobie 12 had an illegitimate 3-way love child.

That is about right. It actually sails very nicely, but it needs some attention--specifically, one of the daggerboards doesn't work quite right (slighlty bent?) and I need to re-glass the mast seat. Still is seaworthy, but one of htose things that should be taken care of.

I know paddle sports. I understand power boats. The concept of how to use sails to go anyway other than where the wind blows is black magic to me. 

it occurred to me that he's not just my father, but he's still my Dad, if that makes sense.  I thought that part of our relationship was over, but maybe it lasts forever.  That's a good thing.

Seems like you, like your Dad, have a penchant for wisdom :)

Spend as much time with your dads as you can, while you can.  Lost mine a few months ago, am still floored by how much he knew that I don't.  Always thought there would be a few more years to spend with him.

My dad died in 1992.  How long did it take for me to get over it?  I'll let you know.

Good grief I love sailing H16s..   

Being dismasted offshore in 6ft swell would be very very scary though...

I love just love how the boat is trying to be upside down the entire time..   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV1aGyLLMw4

1988RedT2 said:

I really want a sailboat.  My oldest is 15 now, and I want him to experience sailing.

Find your local Hobie Cat fleet..   people are always looking for crews for Regatta's or just to playing around.     It is the cheap way to have a FAST boat and the people involved in the sport are nearly universally good folks.

Streetwiseguy said:

This thread makes my fear of boats and water outside of bathtubs seem very, very rational.

Makes me glad I like motorcycles.

I was at Sunset Beach for a bit recently, and given the state of the ocean, I wasn't about to take my boat outside of the Intercoastal. I'm glad everybody escaped with nothing more than a story to tell.

I love sailing and hobies, have for the last 40 years.  As a voice of wisdom though, you never should have been out in that without extensive knowledge of the boat condition.  I replaced shrouds on my 16 every few years, later when I bought a used prindle the first thing I did was put on all new shrouds.  

recently had my hobie tandem island fail, totally my fault as I had not installed a repair kit that hobie provided for free.  And I was not prepared, had no safety lines to assist in righting.  Very stupid of me, luckily all worked out and I was reminded how important it is to be prepared.  The only smart thing I did was to wear a life jacket, as I was solo and there were small craft warnings out that day.

But back to family.  My dad got me into sailing as a teen and it has been a joy my whole life.  Tried to get the kids into it, at 25 my son finally gave it a real shot and loves it.  

Thanks Dad.  For sharing  a wonderful sport with me and everything else.  

In reply to Apis Mellifera :

By all means don't worry about brevity. Post your multi page account. I'm sure you can see by the response to your truncated version, many would enjoy the full meal deal.