To make a long story short, someone hit a cow (6-10months old?) right in front of my house. No tags and no farmer in the area claimed it "All mine are accounted for"... Well, it was just left on the side of the road. Starting to get the dead animal smell randomly throughout the day (we have the windows in the house open as much as possible for the airflow/temperature). It is far enough off the road that it is well sheltered by trees, so the buzzards don't see it.
So, brilliant hive mind, any suggestions for how to speed up the decomposition process so I can live without the stench? The cow is on some land owned by a business down the road a ways. My initial thought it just to ask DOT to drop a load of dirt on it and call it good. Suggestions?
I'm gonna guess it's been long enough that even if you wanted to, moving it closer to the road for dead animal pickup isn't an option.
Swing by a bait shop and get a bunch of maggots to dump on and speed things up?
All the scavengers already know it's there but there's only so much they can do.
Mndsm
MegaDork
9/13/23 5:24 p.m.
RevRico said:
I'm gonna guess it's been long enough that even if you wanted to, moving it closer to the road for dead animal pickup isn't an option.
Swing by a bait shop and get a bunch of maggots to dump on and speed things up?
All the scavengers already know it's there but there's only so much they can do.
second the maggots. its gross but.....
Light it on fire? Blow it up? Note: I'm joking. My experience with dead cows, or any cows for that matter, is virtually nil
In reply to J.A. Ackley :
If it works for a whale, it'll work for a cow right? Blow the sucker up!
mtn
MegaDork
9/13/23 5:44 p.m.
mtn
MegaDork
9/13/23 5:46 p.m.
You may want to go and puncture the carcass a few times to avoid it bloating and blowing up.
The buzzards will find it. Guaranteed. Don't you worry about that.
SV reX
MegaDork
9/13/23 6:02 p.m.
Call your local health department. If they don't respond, tell them you are concerned about it contaminating the ground water.
You could dump a few bags of quicklime on it. That will speed up the decomposition.
If its bloated, and you decide to puncture it, plan on wearing a filtration mask or the odor will probably make you retch or throw up. And use something like an extendable pruning saw or spear to cut it open so you are far enough away to not get sprayed with disgusting fluids.
Another option is loop a rope around its neck and tow it somewhere else. This is what I would do.
Go into a hardware store and ask them how to get rid of a "body" quickly. Also, make sure you use the correct type of container so you don't have a Breaking Bad situation.
Obviously I am no help at all.
Drag it with a tractor to the back 40.
Back in the day when I worked on a farm we'd burn them. In your case I'd try and get some local public service department to take care of it.
11GTCS
SuperDork
9/13/23 6:54 p.m.
Today on GRM I learned... 
jharry3 said:
You could dump a few bags of quicklime on it. That will speed up the decomposition.
If its bloated, and you decide to puncture it, plan on wearing a filtration mask or the odor will probably make you retch or throw up. And use something like an extendable pruning saw or spear to cut it open so you are far enough away to not get sprayed with disgusting fluids.
If only there were some sort of device for putting holes in things at a safe distance, like holes roughly .308 to .45 inches or so... .22" holes might even work okay.
I know secondhand that many scavengers do not care if something has been shot up, they'll chow down on it just the same. Food's food.
Any ideas on how to get the tannerite into the cow before shooting it?
Keith Tanner said:
jmabarone said:
Any ideas on how to get the tannerite into the cow before shooting it?
Mortar.
We may want to avoid crew served weapons here.
The town or county can't help? How about a friend with a bucket tractor taking it somewhere to bury?
Oh yeah, look for a license plate nearby ......
Pete. (l33t FS) said:
jharry3 said:
You could dump a few bags of quicklime on it. That will speed up the decomposition.
If its bloated, and you decide to puncture it, plan on wearing a filtration mask or the odor will probably make you retch or throw up. And use something like an extendable pruning saw or spear to cut it open so you are far enough away to not get sprayed with disgusting fluids.
If only there were some sort of device for putting holes in things at a safe distance, like holes roughly .308 to .45 inches or so... .22" holes might even work okay.
I know secondhand that many scavengers do not care if something has been shot up, they'll chow down on it just the same. Food's food.
First off shooting small holes in it isn't going to do much. (Maybe shooting a box of 12ga buckshot into the abdomen would do it). Second it may be illegal to shoot guns where he is. Thirdly if the plan is to leave it in situ then slicing open the abdomen will allow the scavengers to get to the parts they want more quickly. Once the internals are eaten, or dried out from exposure to air, you basically have a mummy in progress that will desiccate into hair and bones while the animals, birds, and insects have a feast.
Armadillos like to eat dead cows. I once saw a very dead cow in the woods while deer hunting. When I walked by 3 armadillos crawled out of the cow. They were inside munching away at the treasures they found inside.
I still think towing it somewhere else is the answer.
