Dealing with a Political Troll in my family

My family has always been able to find common ground politically even when we don't support the same candidates. This year is obviously different.

Mostly it's my mother-in-law. My wife and I support a different presidential candidate than my wife's parents, and her mother just can't let the sleeping dog lie. We've had late-night discussions about why we support our candidate and they support theirs, which is fine.

But lately it's turned into something she just won't drop. We've made the rule that neither of us will talk politics but literally EVERY conversation comes around to it on her end. I'll talk about work and it's "MY CANDIDATE THIS" or family and it's "YOUR CANDIDATE THAT."

Usually she's trolling either on Facebook (which I only use for family) and texts with my wife - like when we asked if she could babysit next weekend and she said something to the effect of we would need lots of weekends off together to drown our sorrows in beer when her candidate wins.

I've resigned myself to not being able to avoid the subject, so I just don't engage, and that's sad. She's a huge help to us and a big part of our life but you just can't have a civil conversation with her anymore.

I don't expect to fix this while the election goes on. But seriously guys look in the mirror. If you're antagonizing family members over political stuff knock it the hell off. We love each other, and this just isn't the way to treat the ones you love.

Welcome to dealing with my Mother.

Strong brown liquor works for me.

Oddly - this had the opposite effect in my family. My father, who has a very different opinion on most issues than I do and a general lack of tact about sharing them, is nodding in agreement with me.

At least on the part where neither of the current major offerings represent what we feel our interests are and not really being sure what to do about that. Normally, if this were a car or other item that didn't quite do what we wanted we would build our own from scrap, duct tape and bailing wire but neither of us has much of an idea on how to set up a puppet government and rule it from behind the curtain. So, we just agree that this cannot stand. Harumph!

This election has brought out the worst in many people.

Ugh. My inclination would be to say what you said at the end of your post. Every time she mentions politics, say "We love each other, and this just isn't the way to treat the ones you love."

NGTD wrote: This election has brought out the worst in many people.

truth. When family and friends told us months ago that they would no longer talk with us if we voted for "X" candidate. Some haven't talked to us since (wife pretty much said 'I'll vote for whomever I damn please'), some have trolled.

When the country should be coming together, we're just getting pushedfarther apart by the powers that be for their own personal gain.

This is the absolutely worst of election campaigns in my 58 years. So far I've unfriended two FB friends of family, polar opposites who clogged my page w/ 25 political posts/ day as if battling each other. Gonners, bye bye, ain't gonna miss that E36 M3.

Blocked two more FB friends posts until after the election, one was my cousin. Even my sister has been gettin' pretty berkeleying uppity over politics of late, maybe she needs a time out as well.

Even Dad started a political rant while visiting my Mom at the nursing home, sorry dude... ain't goin' there.

Politics suck.

It'll be over soon.

It is going to get even worse after Tuesday, especially if the one that has a couple FBI investigations going loses, believe it.

My suggestion for dealing with these people is the same regardless of the "side" they're on: give them the federal law books in regards to elections. They'll quit squabbling about candidates if they actually read the laws concerning the selection process.

I'm having the exact same crisis with my mother. I could have written your first post.

Until this year, my family has always had intellectual and interesting political discussion. No more.

I told my wife this morning that if it doesn't stop after the election, I am going to ask my mother to not visit her grandkids any more. Really sucks.

My Aunt has regularly sent out politcal emails to the whole family touting her candidate for the last few months. The people in the family in agreement with her always put in their $0.02 in agreement, while everyone else stays silent. If I get any similar emails after tomorrow I will begin public shaming her.

It's not a proud moment in our country as far as I am concerned. Solid political discourse has given way to divisiveness and pathetic and disgusting antics.

For the record, however, I think the knee jerk responses to avoiding political discussion are part of the problem. I would much rather have open and honest discussions even when there is disagreement then ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist. Unwillingness to discuss openly contributes to the divisiveness.

You all make me happy that my "social media" exposure is here and a few other sports related boards. I'm quite happy I'm not part of twitter or facebook. It's bad enough to watch all of the commercials- but to hear stories like that, ugh.

In reply to alfadriver:

I am not on Social Media, and neither is most of my family. They get it directly from mainstream media and news outlets.

In reply to SVreX:

Open and honest political discussion begins with the ability to open your mind to other viewpoints, and with both sides in this campaign there is none of that.

If your baseline viewpoint of the Dem is that she's a two-faced traitor who should be in prison, good luck with understanding the opposing viewpoint. If your viewpoint of the Republican is that he's a molesting racist liar who should also be in prison, again good luck with that.

I think lots of it stems from people who are totally misinformed believing they are extremely well informed. I can say that from my own family. My in-laws watch cable news a good 12 hours a day, all different channels according to them. They actually think that makes them informed about the issues.

Short-form cable news punditry was recently shown to make the average viewer less informed than those who paid no attention at all to the news (ignore the clickbait headline, basically all cable news is equally bad). But many many people believe in it on both sides of the aisle, and when you try to have a conversation with someone who believes in the sensationalist crap they show on these programs, it's pretty hard to have a civil conversation, regardless of where they stand on the issues.

In reply to bastomatic:

Good point

...although my family probably doesn't watch much cable either.

SVreX wrote: In reply to alfadriver: I am not on Social Media, and neither is most of my family. They get it directly from mainstream media and news outlets.

Then I'm happy that I'm a 1-3 day drive from anyone to see face to face in my family. I would not talk to anyone who wanted to get into my face about it. Not worth the effort.

Easy. Block her on Facebook and emails, and remover her from the available babysitter list.

I've had to do this with a few friends that can't understand that no one gives a berkeley about their political stance.

Spoolpigeon wrote: Easy. Block her on Facebook and emails, and remover her from the available babysitter list. I've had to do this with a few friends that can't understand that no one gives a berkeley about their stance.

Any stance is always wrong.

In reply to bastomatic:

what happens if I believe they should both be in prison along with about 2/3'd of our current congress?

Also, 100% with you on the ability to see another viewpoint, let alone understand it. We have both extremes screaming at each other, telling each other how "closed minded"they are because they won't agree with them. The hypocrisy is strong with these.

Tell them that they are right. I suspect that is what they really want to hear.
Then vote whatever way you want, just don't tell them.

I'm not on Facebook so I'm safe from the few distant family members who do this crap (helps that not much of my family lives in the US I guess). One's gone full tinfoil since this US election season started...like 2 years ago. I have very strong opinions on this epic clusterberkeley but I can keep them to myself.

One of my guys was complaining about how it's horrible he's lost long term friends over the election, but apparently it was over him posting nonstop politics on facetubes calling the other side's candidate and anyone voting for them every name in the book.

My dad flipped out because his sibling was thinking of voting for the first time at 60 years old, and not voting for the person my dad thinks they should vote for.

My brother in law claims to be libertarian but doesnt ever vote for them for the "if not r or d, vote is wasted" logic that keeps us from giving a 3rd or 4th option any kind of chance.

This election has brought out the worst of the worst all around, at least some people's true colors are showing and i know what they really think of things instead of the smokeshow theyve been blowing up my rear for years.

It's nobody's business who I'm voting for, or what i feel about politics. It's my right to keep that to myself and i wish people would respect that and stop asking me who.

America needs to look in the mirror and figure stuff out, I'm disappointed in us as a whole more and more every day.

In reply to GameboyRMH:

Hrm, a number of MY non-American friends haven't held back from voicing their opinions... repeatedly.

Maybe Margie could have a talk with her.

I've seen families get bent out of shape over sports teams. This makes absolutely no sense to me. I just try to not be overwhelmed by my own indifference.

Toebra wrote: It is going to get even worse after Tuesday, especially if the one that has a couple FBI investigations going loses, believe it.

I'm not sure the TV star will deal with a loss gracefully either. It's going to be ugly no matter what.

All of my family is in Canada, so mostly I hear "what the heck is going ON down there?"

In reply to Keith Tanner:

I believe Toebra was referring to the First Pants Suit's followers, not so much the candidate herself.

[edit] Expect to see no more than a token tantrum from the Oompa Loompa himself when he inevitably loses. He's been throwing this election harder than the 1919 Black Sox.

And with that, I'm shutting up.