Dear aircraft passengers,

You're not too far off. I took a pill shortly after boarding a flight to Korea... woke up when we were landing. It was great.

why not just seal the cockpit with it's own air supply and pipe in sedatives to the rest of the cabin?

DILYSI Dave wrote:

Marjorie Suddard wrote: Dear fellow passengers, Although you are big burly men and I am a petite female seated in the center row, that does not mean you can take both armrests AND put your ham-like arms so far into my seat that you pin me so I can't even reach up and adjust my reading glasses. Rest assured that if you do that again, I will not be satisfied with just saying, "Folks, I'm gonna need to be able to move my arms during this flight, so back it off." Margie

Sorry for trying to cop a feel.

Hey Margie, if you EVER feel the need to expand your patio after you've paved every square inch of your property, I SURELY could use a nice slab for my challenge car. I'll pay for the materials, even.

mad_machine wrote: why not just seal the cockpit with it's own air supply and pipe in sedatives to the rest of the cabin?

I've always wondered this. What would stop them from introducing a higher percentage of oxygen into the cabin? I mean, don't they have medical grade oxygen tanks on board already for if the cabin loses pressure?

mad_machine wrote: why not just seal the cockpit with it's own air supply and pipe in sedatives to the rest of the cabin?

I've always wondered this. What would stop them from introducing a higher percentage of oxygen into the cabin? I mean, don't they have medical grade oxygen tanks on board already for if the cabin loses pressure?

Thanks everyone for reminding me why I like to travel by train. I can still bring my own scotch too and travel like the distingushed gentlemen I am.

Dear airline security,
Why is it that when I sit in the exit row I am required to verbally state that I am willing and understand the evacuation proceedures but if I actaully practice that proceedure it is a federal offense?

Dear TSA,
Why is it that if I pay a private company more money or pay money more often (first class or frequent flyer) that this private company can then provide me with gov't services sooner (TSA screening) with a shorter line?
Pay less or less often and then wait in the long line being denied the quickest gov't service?

porksboy wrote: Reminds me of a pasenger next to my mother when we were flying in Libya. The Arab perv next to her kept rubbing his hand up and down her leg. She would slap it away and he would resume in about 10 minutes. When dinner came around she palmed her fork, after the stewardi removed the detrious from dinner he resumed his hobby. She stabbed the fork into the back of his hand with enough force for it to remain there after she let go. This was when you still got a metal fork in coach. Problem solved. Not a word was said to her. AHH, good times.

Does getting Fork-ed like that qualify one for the mile high club??? (applause!!!)

Taiden wrote:

mad_machine wrote: why not just seal the cockpit with it's own air supply and pipe in sedatives to the rest of the cabin?

I've always wondered this. What would stop them from introducing a higher percentage of oxygen into the cabin? I mean, don't they have medical grade oxygen tanks on board already for if the cabin loses pressure?

Airplanes have generators that near as makes no difference "produce" the oxygen supply. I'm sure they could be tweaked to pump out more.

dinger wrote: Dear Fellow Passengers, It is a generally accepted practice to shower before getting in a little metal tube with a bunch of people who are forced to smell you for the next few hours. Thanks for your cooperation.

on the flight from detroit to DC for one of my bachelor parties, i actually busted out a similar rant toward the stinky motherberkeleyer sitting next to me. i began with "wow, you must've booked this flight at the last minute, because YOU berkeleying STINK LIKE YOU HAVEN'T BATHED IN A berkeleying WEEK YOU STINKY MOTHERberkeleyER!"

yes, i raised my voice, perhaps emboldened by traveling with my buddy Heavy D, a Bay City biker who goes 6'7" and about 375.

EastCoastMojo wrote: I have a vision that we will eventually require sedation during transport on airlines in an effort to minimize the possibility of hijack, contamination and to cram more "cargo" onboard. It's pretty creepy but I could see people going for it. One second you're in the terminal getting a sedative and before you can ask, "Are we there yet?", you're there.

OMG, i can't believe it's already half past the monkey's balls.

Dear fellow passengers:

I used to fix airplanes and I delight in pointing out all the little broken things I can find during the flight. If loose rivets and cracks in the skin bother you, please don't sit next to me.

P.S. I have been known to yell "we're all going to die!" as the plane rotates on takeoff.

Hope all you nervous passengers enjoy your flight!

Trans_Maro wrote: Dear fellow passengers: I used to fix airplanes and I delight in pointing out all the little broken things I can find during the flight. If loose rivets and cracks in the skin bother you, please don't sit next to me. P.S. I have been known to yell "we're all going to die!" as the plane rotates on takeoff. Hope all you nervous passengers enjoy your flight!

Having grown up in military air transport the world over, I too enjoy berkeleying with nervous fliers. My favorite is to grip the armrest tightly during takeoff then when the wheels lock in the up position yell " OH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT NOISE"?

you guys are awful. I'm a pretty well put together person, but the idea of not being able to 'stop the ride i want to get off' is too weird for me.

Trans_Maro wrote: Dear fellow passengers: I used to fix airplanes and I delight in pointing out all the little broken things I can find during the flight. If loose rivets and cracks in the skin bother you, please don't sit next to me. P.S. I have been known to yell "we're all going to die!" as the plane rotates on takeoff. Hope all you nervous passengers enjoy your flight!

Ben Stiller - Classic

watch 1:04 "it's not like I have a bomb in here"

Hilarious. I have a feeling that if I did that now, I would be in some cold dark cell somewhere with some explaining to do.

Dear Passenger Behind Me:

If your berkeleying kid's legs touch the back of my seat one more time, I'm going to tie them around your neck.

Dear Southwest Airlines Flyers:

Check your giant oversized bag. It's free.

I crack up when some young lady struggles with her giant bag and all the dudes around her watch with the "you should have checked your bag" look on their face.

It's not the plane falling out of the sky, the crash, or the death that bothers me, it's the people there that I don't want to die with.

Wally wrote: Thanks everyone for reminding me why I like to travel by train. I can still bring my own scotch too and travel like the distingushed gentlemen I am.

It's possible to refill a couple travel sized Listerine bottles with Lagavulin 16 yr.old and still easily make your quart-sized Ziplock bag limit.

Dear fellow passengers,

I know its possible that during a red-eye from Columbus Ohio to Dallas Tx, you could be in some kind of meth induced adrenaline high and therefore arent dogs-ass tired like the other 92 people on the flight. But please do not be surprised when I break your nose because your discussion about your aunts gout kept me awake.

kthnxbai

I'm flying (to Vegas) this Thursday and this thread isn't helping my misery about the flying part of my vacation.

I HATE flying. Such an un-natural thing to do. Ativans did nothing for me last time. I'll either go sober or I'll have a couple of Advil PM's in me.

motomoron wrote:

Wally wrote: Thanks everyone for reminding me why I like to travel by train. I can still bring my own scotch too and travel like the distingushed gentlemen I am.

It's possible to refill a couple travel sized Listerine bottles with Lagavulin 16 yr.old and still easily make your quart-sized Ziplock bag limit.

Maybe but on the train I can use a glass and ice, and from time to time sneak a cigar between cars the way God and Cornelius Vanderbilt intended. One of the reasons I love Christmas is I commute with someone who's Christmas bonus includes Mr Walker's Green and Blue label. Now if only they'd give me back my obsrevation car and overstuffed chair.

Im really trying to talk Missus 4CF into a train ride somewhere far just for fun. She doesnt see the glamor of it. Its been several decades since I rode in a train, and Ive never slept in one. I know I would have fun - I sleep thru tornado sirens and popped water pipes filling up my basement and the water alarm screaming at me, so the rhythmic clickity clack of some steel wheels beneath me should not bother me too much...she on the other hand sleeps about as soundly as a crack head on his second eightball of the day. Im not sure its a discussion that will go my way...

Flying to china next week and these thoughts will surely accompany me on my 20 hour middle row flight. Thanks.