I teach highschool shop to other people's children, and I am always highly motivated to spend time with my own kids. And the most important years are the first ones - by the time a kids gets to me in grade 8, the damage has been done and there's nothing I can do to change the kid's behaviour due to the lenient and enabling parents.
I lead my kids in the way they should go. I don't let them be the parent. As they get older I give them more freedom, but I will not let them get away with poor behaviour, and I always make them take responsibility for their actions and apologize/repair/make-restitution/whatever when they do wrong. They must always say please and thank you, and if they cannot behave, they cannot be here. I will not bargain or beg - I am the parent. It is not my job to be their friend. My eldest is as stubborn as I am, and has as volatile a temper as I did at his age - it's easier for me to distance myself emotionally, blame it on genetics, and deal with the issue ("I asked you to do something and you did not do it. When I ask you to do something, you need to do it - I am not giving you a choice. You can come out of your room when you are ready to do what I ask you to do. No, you did not do what I asked you to do - I'm putting you back in your room until you are ready to do what I asked you to do. Thank you for doing what I asked you to do, I really like it when you do what I ask you to do.").
Sometimes the kids get a spanking, sometimes they get a firm talking to, sometimes they are removed from the situation until they are ready to try again. I never promise or threaten anything I am not willing to follow up on, and I always follow up on everything I promise or threaten. My kids are 2-1/2 and 4, and my wife and I get a lot of compliments from people on how well behaved our kids are. My wife is much more compassionate than I am (which is very very good), but we are both on the same page with how we deal with our kids.
Whenever I go to a store, as soon as one of the kids start reaching for anything, I'm quick with a "no, you cannot touch - that is not ours. We cannot touch it if it's not ours. We can ask 'may I touch this please?' and if they say 'yes' then we can touch it, but if they say 'no' then we cannot touch it because it's not ours, buit we have to ask first." Generally the kids are pretty good about this. Sometimes we go back to the car until they are ready to try again, sometimes we go home and do not shop at all.
Setting the tone and expectation early in life saves a LOT of grief later on. You gotta pour your heart into your kids right from the get-go, and model what you want your kids to grow into. They will copy you; they are in their apprenticeship stage. The apple never falls far from the tree. When I have to deal with a difficult student, usually once I meet the parent I usually discover the kid's not that bad after all.
But that's just my opinion, I may be wrong.
G