Do I have a right to be pissed?

Yes, you have the right to be upset that some dude gave your wife a rose.

However, it is clear that she is quite upset with the fact that Valentine's day didn't go the way she would have liked and she is clearly kept the rose to stick it your face in it because she is furious with you.

I'm with SVreX on this one: hear the message she is sending you. Rather than giving her 12 roses, I'd take her out to dinner, though. Spend time with her and apologize.

Your wife brought a rose home as a way to demonstrate that she would have liked you to have given her one. Maybe some dude gave it to her... maybe she bought it for herself.

Either way, It was a woman-encoded message to you. Ignore it to your peril.

fasted58 wrote:

Gasoline wrote: Come home with an open box of condoms with one missing .....and say some cute chick at work heard the rose story, and thought you needed some TLC.

FTFY

even more fixed.

listen to SVreX, there is iron in his words.

and to the OP, you shouldn't be pissed at the other guy. he's a guy. you should try to understand what is going on between you and your wife that would make her want to keep the rose as long as she did. she probably didn't keep it because she's got the hots for him, she kept it to serve as a wake-up to you that she wants these small gestures from you.

and to everyone who says it's wrong for a dude to give a rose to a married chick, well, like my dad told me a long time ago, "a ring don't plug a hole."

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: ... maybe she bought it for herself.

This man knows how women work.

Joshua wrote: Yes. Upset with her for keeping it and upset with him for thinking that it's ok to give somebody else's wife a rose...

I agree with this. Personally I wouldn't have asked her to toss it, but thats a moot point, because it doesn't really matter in your case. Its your decision and its not a wrong one. If he knew she was married, he shouldn't have gotten her a rose unless they were actually friends and it was yellow.

My wife is a flight attendant and it is expected for her to be hit on as beautiful as she is. We couldn't afford wedding rings, so she obviously doesn't wear one. In addition, she doesn't mind me hitting on women especially when I get something free (not sexually) out of it.

To me it sounds like:

A.) your wife just happened to mentioned how you weren't getting her anything for Valentine's Day (for whatever reason)

B.) some guy took pity on her

C.) your wife decided to rub your nose in it for not getting her anything FAR superior to what this guy who (hopefully?) mean nothing to her gave her

D.) your wife is typical in that what she thinks is rational and romantic...to a guy it almost never is

IOW...your in deep doo doo temporarily, be careful how you extricate yourself. What may seem rational to you will either light the fuse to the start of WW III or will cement your relationship for years.

I bought some flowers, the latest Twilight movie, and I'm gonna make some sort of card.

Operation what rose? is in effect.

You snooze you loose man. If you aren't meeting her needs, then someone else certainly will. I would quit bitching and start making it up to her if you want to keep her.

Personally, I think your avatar absolves you of all sins. And while you berkeleyed up, an apology and a promise to be a little more attentive, then following through with it, along with a "But just FYI, bringing home flowers that some strange douchebag gave you is not acceptable married grownup behavior...." is the proper way to handle it, in my very humble opinion. That's not jealousy, that's just saying "you signed the MF'in contract." Personally, I just don't respond well to the "I'm going to teach you a lesson by playing little games" bullE36 M3. That's a big part of the reason I picked the woman I did.

The buying her more flowers thing seems a little weird and contrived to me, but then again, I'm a dude. What the berkeley would I know?

but svrex probably has it right on the other stuff...though I've never known a woman who didn't get turned on by a dude pushing a vacuum cleaner when she gets home.

YMMV

poopshovel wrote: Personally, I just don't respond well to the "I'm going to teach you a lesson by playing little games" bullE36 M3. That's a big part of the reason I picked the woman I did.

Same here.

Mine learned when we first started dating that if she wants to play games instead of handling our issues, I'll pack her suitcase and even put it in the car for her.

You should have at least purchased a card and some chocolates (that's all I do and money isn't tight, I don't like participating in what is essentially a made up holiday).

Hallmark has decent chocolates, you can get a card and a 1/2 pound of goodies for $15.

".....you can get a card and 1/2 pound of goodies for $15"

Sounds a lot like something that could go into a certain section of a magazine.

Well, you could have her come home to you with a towel covering the dining room table while you're cleaning your shotgun/.45 and when she asks you, "What's going on?" you reply, "I'm preparing to meet Rose Guy..."

Nah, I think they other guys have it covered. IMHO this was an indication of lack of maintenance on your part. If you're not prepared to deal with a woman to whom V-Day is a Big Deal you either weren't paying attention or married the wrong chick. Do SOMETHING. Doesn't need to be much. Be like the Bud Light commercial where she's agonizing over the card and you grab one on your way out of the liquor store. Y'dig?

FWIW: OP: I don't know you. If I did, I wouldn't have said SQUAT to wifey, but I objectively told her what happened, and conveyed the "This is your fault for not handling business" sentiment expressed by some other folks, at which point she said "Whoa; we're dealing with two seperate issues here. Sure, dude can be a little more attentive, but his wife keeping the rose is really weird, and needs to be addressed too."

I <3 mah wife.

BoostedBrandon wrote: I bought some flowers, the latest Twilight movie, and I'm gonna make some sort of card. Operation what rose? is in effect.

Bravo!

Read your signature.

And seriously guys, if you have not read a book about the 5 love languages, I STRONGLY recommend it to everyone. It changed my life, and my relationships with everyone I meet.

When I shared the concept with my mother (who divorced my father nearly 50 years ago), she told me (at nearly 80 years old) that she had NEVER heard of it, and if she had she and my father would likely still be together.

I use the teaching at work with my co-workers, with my children, with kids I coach, EVERYONE.

Personally I think she should have left the rose at work. Signifies less that way. But trust goes a long way.
Married to #2 for over 30 years now and she doesn't expect much anymore. Secret is finding someone that has never had much then anything is more. I bought her her first doll the first V-day after we were married. She was almost 30 er I mean 29 then. She's my souvineer from Korea.

PS; no women has responded to this. Wonder why?

SVreX wrote:

BoostedBrandon wrote: I bought some flowers, the latest Twilight movie, and I'm gonna make some sort of card. Operation what rose? is in effect.

Bravo! Read your signature. And seriously guys, if you have not read a book about the 5 love languages, I STRONGLY recommend it to everyone. It changed my life, and my relationships with everyone I meet. When I shared the concept with my mother (who divorced my father nearly 50 years ago), she told me (at nearly 80 years old) that she had NEVER heard of it, and if she had she and my father would likely still be together. I use the teaching at work with my co-workers, with my children, with kids I coach, EVERYONE.

+1 to this. My wife got that book before she was my wife, and left it in the bathroom. Needless to say, it was read in about a week and became a better man because of it. People want love in different ways. Find hers and enjoy the rest of your life. Its been said a million times, but "If mama aint happy, then nobody is happy."

Good luck!

Oh, I bought the twilight movie for my wife as a gift the other day, and alot of my coworkers saw me in the store with it. Things could be worse.