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Dr. Hess
Dr. Hess MegaDork
8/7/19 1:52 p.m.

What are they trying to charge you guys for a cremation?  I thought one large was pretty reasonable.  They handle all the details, from picking up the deceased to picking up the death certificates for you.  The last one we had done 11 years ago was about $750 here locally, and inflation and E36 M3, plus left coast tax, so one large seemed OK.

NGTD
NGTD UberDork
8/7/19 1:58 p.m.
Dr. Hess said:

What are they trying to charge you guys for a cremation?  I thought one large was pretty reasonable.  They handle all the details, from picking up the deceased to picking up the death certificates for you.  The last one we had done 11 years ago was about $750 here locally, and inflation and E36 M3, plus left coast tax, so one large seemed OK.

I don't remember all of the details however Mom chose a absolute no frills end - no funeral, no visitation, the $425 mdf box, etc. and the total came to about $4500 CAD. 

Dr. Hess
Dr. Hess MegaDork
8/7/19 2:39 p.m.

That one large also included a viewing at the facility.  No embalming, because that would be silly for a cremation, just a viewing where they pull him out of the freezer, put a cloth over him, you could see the head, etc.  All in all, they did an excellent job. I have notes here somewhere, but they offered a funeral with hall rental, music, for around five hundred, I think, and if you wanted them to round up a minister, that would be an extra bill and a half or so. 

jharry3
jharry3 GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
8/7/19 3:17 p.m.
Duke said:
jharry3 said:

I just want a Viking Funeral.   I probably won't have much trouble finding people to shoot flaming arrows at me in a wooden boat...

if you're dead, finding pyromaniac archers won't even be your problem, will it?

 

Same as choosing your pall bearers ahead of time except they are chosen for their archery skills instead of their ability to carry heavy objects.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/7/19 3:47 p.m.

FWIW, some of the price goes to pay for folks who can't and/or shouldn't afford a casket/funeral/cremation/etc. 

 

I was shocked at how little the funeral charges were for our daughter. I think we wrote a check to the funeral home for about $600--and they handled everything for the curch and the burial as well. Probably had about 10 hours of work on it, and that included the urn that my wife picked -- at least $300. That means that the cremation and all of the funeral planning was done for $300. Not sure what the breakout was, but even if it was only $100 for the cremation, that still comes out to only $20 an hour. I'm not convinced they broke even, for us.

 

I asked them about it, and the funeral director basically said "How much were her hospital bills? Did you budget for that? Time off work? Time off work that you'll need to grieve? We're not trying to fleece you here, and we know most people in your situation can't afford this on top of everything else that has happened". 

Karacticus
Karacticus GRM+ Memberand Dork
8/7/19 3:51 p.m.

Going through the extensive phone interrogation associated with organ donation immediately after my Mother’s death has not encouraged me to pursue organ donation. 

Was essentially a 45 minute extemporaneous review of her entire medical history. 

84FSP
84FSP SuperDork
8/7/19 4:00 p.m.

Nothing useful to add other than this makes me think about what I might do with myself.  My wife and I both intend to be incinerated as there is already a family plot.  Unsure what else I would want done.  My only major vote for the official process is for all your friends and family members closure, not yours as you're dead.  I'll likely have my kids and hopefully grand kids there so thinking about what would help them.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/7/19 4:36 p.m.
Karacticus said:

Going through the extensive phone interrogation associated with organ donation immediately after my Mother’s death has not encouraged me to pursue organ donation. 

Was essentially a 45 minute extemporaneous review of her entire medical history. 

Donating to science is different than organ donation. I don't know what donating to science entails, but organ donation is definitely not fun for the donors family. 

Here is our story with it - beware, it is sad. For all of my daughters life (2 weeks), we didn't know what was wrong other than her heart wasn't working. We were warned that she likely would need a heart transplant. For an infant, that is nearly impossible - while there are plenty of adult hearts available for obvious reasons (car crashes, OD's, other accidents, etc.), usually there aren't any healthy hearts available. You're basically hoping, praying, that somebody else's infant son or daughter will pass away from something not heart related. It is not a comfortable feeling, knowing that your baby's life is dependent on someone else's baby passing away. 

Well, our daughter didn't make it. It wasn't because she didn't get a heart (although she would have needed one, we found out after the autopsy), but a brain hemorrhage. We had to make the decision to remove life support, when it became apparent that the brain damage was too much to overcome. This is an obvious decision to reach, but it was the hardest decision I've ever made (we've ever made, I'm sure it was the hardest for my wife as well). 

Then they asked us if we wanted her to be an organ donor. This was an obvious choice, yes--we were waiting on a heart, in the event that any child could have their life saved by anything, I wanted that to happen. I don't regret that at all. However, I was not prepared for what came next: They have to see if there is anything that can be used (for Angela, it was her kidneys - the lungs and heart were damaged) - and anyone that can use them. They said this usually takes 36 hours. They sped it up for us to 24 hours. These 24 hours were excruciating - we were ready to remove life support, but we had to wait. I'm grateful, now, because it was more time that we could hold our daughter, but it was still hard. 

They couldn't use anything of Angela's (well, they may have used some skin and her corneas), and I am honestly grateful for that too. If there was something that could have been used, that would mean we would have to say Goodbye, and watch as they would wheel her into an OR to harvest the organs. I'm glad I got to hold my daughter as she passed. 

ProDarwin
ProDarwin UltimaDork
8/7/19 4:38 p.m.

Controversial opinion:  I think you should need to opt out of being an organ donor instead of the other way around.

 

As far as burial goes, take my remains, but them in a sack or an untreated wood box that will decompose.  Simple, cheap, and green, unlike almost all other forms of burial.

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/7/19 4:45 p.m.
ProDarwin said:

Controversial opinion:  I think you should need to opt out of being an organ donor instead of the other way around.

 

 

How is that controversial? 

ProDarwin
ProDarwin UltimaDork
8/7/19 8:58 p.m.
mtn said:
ProDarwin said:

Controversial opinion:  I think you should need to opt out of being an organ donor instead of the other way around.

How is that controversial? 

I'm just assuming it would be.  Some people have very strong views on this.

I recall there being a big stink when that bill a few years ago allowed employers to require people to opt out of retirement savings instead of opt in.

Steve_Jones
Steve_Jones Reader
8/7/19 9:14 p.m.

I figure just cremate me and put me in the glovebox of any classic car that was driven home, then disassembled for a complete restoration. I know at that point, I’ll never be disturbed again as I’ve never seen one of those get past disassembly

oldopelguy
oldopelguy UberDork
8/7/19 9:19 p.m.

Even though all the funeral home did for my dad was pick him up at my house and drop him off at the crematorium it was $2500 after I raised a pretty big stink about the $4500 they started at for services I never received. 

Shortly thereafter a sheriff friend told me about the father of a mutual friend from high school who when his wife died actually did stack up wood for a proper pyre. Seems he used up about 3 cord of wood and had to pay a $75 improper disposal of a body ticket, which is probably the best deal going. 

M2Pilot
M2Pilot Dork
8/7/19 9:41 p.m.

Please don't bury me

down in the cold cold ground,

No,I'd rather have them cut me up

and pass me all around.

Throw my brain in a hurricane

and the blind can have my eyes.

The deaf can have both of my ears

if they don't mind the size.

Give my stomach to Milwaukee

if they run out of beer.

Put my socks in a cedar box,

Just to get'em out of here.

Venus De Milo can have my arms.

Look out!  I've got your nose

Sell my heart to the junk man

and give my love to Rose.

Give my feet to the footloose

Careless, fancy free

And give my knees to the needy

Don't pull that stuff on me.

Hand me down my walking cane

It's a sin to tell a lie.

Send my mouth way down South

and kiss my ass good-bye.

 

From John Prine

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/7/19 10:00 p.m.

M2, Love it! Great song. I may have to break that one out next time I play at the bar. 

 

Oh, sometimes you can buy funerals in advance, so your kids don't have to worry about it. Or buy insurance from the funeral home. Do not do this. It is fine to have everything set up, even fine to put down a nominal deposit, but there is decent chance they go under and you're up a creek without your money. Well, you're dead, so you don't care, but your heirs are out money.

Gingerbeardman
Gingerbeardman Reader
8/7/19 10:27 p.m.

My wife wants a sky-burial...since she works with non-releasable raptors, it's fitting. Evidently in Tibet you can have the vultures eat you. Seriously pondering how to get her body over there, if I survive her. Otherwise I guess it's an improper disposal ticket for me, too...I'll take her to the Grand Canyon where the Peregrine Fund has released California Condors and give them a meal.

As for me, I'm cool with cremation or one of those cardboard coffins and a tree planted on top. I'm an organ donor, but if I live to the age my grandfather passed, I can't imagine them doing anyone any good.

As a former artillery-man, I think it'd be cool to shot out of a howitzer...need to find an avalanche-prone area where they use artillery to proactively clear snow, and see if I can hitch a ride.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
8/8/19 1:29 a.m.

If I can't get my wish of my corpse being dressed up in a Super Man outfit and shoved out of an aircraft at altitude, hopefully over a populated area, I want to be burnt up and poured into a Pratt & Whitney R-2800 cylinder head.

 

When our flying days are over 

When our flying days are past 

We hope they'll bury us upside down

So the world can kiss our ass.

Grtechguy
Grtechguy MegaDork
8/8/19 8:17 a.m.

At 40,  my wishes are the same as they where as a teen.      Donate what ever is useable,  burn the rest/give  to medical science.

 

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

Pete Gossett
Pete Gossett GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/8/19 8:23 a.m.

In reply to mtn :

That’s a very good point. My mother had always told me she had pre-paid funeral arrangements, but after she died I couldn’t find any paperwork & the local funeral home said they didn’t have any record of it. 

Jerry
Jerry UberDork
8/8/19 8:33 a.m.

When my stepdad died after an accident at home, the funeral home she chose was owned by her granddaughter's friend's family.  Working with someone you've known since she was about 8yrs old was a relief, no attempted upsales or crazy options.  Went with a cardbox/pressboard/something box for cremation and the cemetery his parents were buried let mom put an urn and marker inbetween their headstones.  Don't remember $ but it wasn't terrible.

Yeah, got the laminated card with my drivers license.  I've been an organ donor since I've had a license, hopefuly they can work out a deal. wink

daeman
daeman Dork
8/8/19 8:34 a.m.

Did anyone see the news regarding a body donation place in Arizona?

I've refrained from posting a link as it may upset some. But it would pay to check the credentials of the place you're donating your body to if you actually care what may happen to it.

GameboyRMH
GameboyRMH GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/8/19 9:09 a.m.
daeman said:

Did anyone see the news regarding a body donation place in Arizona?

I've refrained from posting a link as it may upset some. But it would pay to check the credentials of the place you're donating your body to if you actually care what may happen to it.

I posted a link on the first page...it does describe an incredibly grisly situation.

So after reading these posts, I've decided that if I'm made dictator of the world, the death industry will be among the first 10 I nationalize (and then I'll integrate it with health care because they already have the morgues and crematoriums etc.)

gearheadmb
gearheadmb SuperDork
8/8/19 12:08 p.m.

Am i allowed to be buried on my own property? I think i would like to build my own casket and be buried in my backyard, or maybe in my hayfield. Is that legal. I have this envisioned as my male friends and family come over and dig the hole while drinking and telling stories about the dumb E36 M3 ive done, while the women prepare a big dinner for everyone. I feel like when i die i WANT my body to return to the earth, not lay preserved in a stainless box for an unnaturally long time. Plus i think the funeral business is a huge ripoff, and i dont want to saddle my family with a big bill when i die.

RevRico
RevRico GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/8/19 12:11 p.m.

In reply to gearheadmb :

That comes down to county or township ordinances. Rented a house for a while in Stockton that had several graves on the property that belonged to members of the family that owned the house. 

stuart in mn
stuart in mn MegaDork
8/8/19 1:14 p.m.
gearheadmb said:

Am i allowed to be buried on my own property? I think i would like to build my own casket and be buried in my backyard

Playing the devil's advocate, would you be willing to buy a property that had someone buried on it?  That would be the dilemma faced by your survivors.  It may not be an issue for some buyers, but it would probably deter many others.

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