TAKE THE MONEY!! No really, if you don't you're only hurting yourself. She won't know one way or the other. Put your feelings in one bag and the money in another.
TAKE THE MONEY!! No really, if you don't you're only hurting yourself. She won't know one way or the other. Put your feelings in one bag and the money in another.
Take the money and call it as close to even as you're gonna get.
The grandfather thing is close too. He always his cash from her because she was hella greedy and would take all his loot if she could. When he died he had something like a thousand bucks in cash on him, thousands more his all over the house, close to a hundred guns, and even bank accounts that she had no idea existed. The only reason they stayed married was he was a good Catholic. He'd want me to have some cashmoleans, certainly more than that berkeleying gargoyle.
Don't let emotions rule your decision.
https://www.360financialliteracy.org/Topics/Paying-for-Education/Saving-for-College
That really wasn't the grandmother's money, it was yours (and your siblings/family members) that she wouldn't give to it's rightful owners, judging by her conduct after your parents' and grandfather's passing.
So it's yours to begin with, it's just become available now that the dragon in the cave is gone.
In your original post, you are suffering from a terrible mental disorder; pride.
Pride can be useful, but it blinds us in realizing when it needs to be put on the backburner.
I would have the exact same issue as you. In fact, while my parents have been nothing but great parents, I really do not want to touch their inheritance money when the time comes because my pride is in me having made myself.
That would not stop me from putting the money away for my (theoretical future) kids. Because at the end of the day, while there is (imo) a lot to be said about the nobility of not taking the gains of evil people (in your case), they weren't really hers to begin with, and the duty to look after your kids and wife outstrips that nobility.
Would you not take money from somebody if you had a business and their only "crime" was being a E36 M3ty human being?
Send Gibson to college with it. Or, just buy a couple hundred Xboxones.
mndsm wrote:Teh E36 M3 wrote: Hookers+Blow=happienessI do like me some hookers n blow.
Well, there you go.
HiTempguy wrote: In your original post, you are suffering from a terrible mental disorder; pride. Pride can be useful, but it blinds us in realizing when it needs to be put on the backburner. I would have the exact same issue as you. In fact, while my parents have been nothing but great parents, I really do not want to touch their inheritance money when the time comes because my pride is in me having made myself. That would not stop me from putting the money away for my (theoretical future) kids. Because at the end of the day, while there is (imo) a lot to be said about the nobility of not taking the gains of evil people (in your case), they weren't really hers to begin with, and the duty to look after your kids and wife outstrips that nobility. Would you not take money from somebody if you had a business and their only "crime" was being a E36 M3ty human being?
You have a valid point. I've always said I should open a rim shop. I'm a helluva salesman, and there's a market. What does this have to do with anything? Well, evil and stupid are sort of the same thing to me. Its not a crime to be non-intelligent, but to act like a tardbox on purpose out of sheer ignorance and then blame others for your woes is evil to me, as it were. However, there's always gonna be tardboxes fixing to spend money on stupid wheels. Rather than perpetuate the cycle and have it all end up in other tardbox hands ( west coast customs?) Why not give it to me so rad things happen instead. I suppose this is sort of the same deal.
Use the money to move to Indy and rent a shop with me.
mndsm wrote: Why not give it to me so rad things happen instead. I suppose this is sort of the same deal.
Exactly. Unfortunately, the only way to get out of this is to simply not play the game... which has a lot of downsides to it. Rest assured, you fighting the good fight while not being a "man of the land" poor on the side of a hill in a mud hut is probably better than sticking by your principles... at the end of the day, you being able to spread those principles, and the knowledge that sometimes you have to be willing to bend is much better than the alternative IMO.
Swank Force One wrote: Use the money to move to Indy and rent a shop with me.
Move to Minneapolis. We have at least 3 spices here.
You could use it to help fund Wagonfest One.
Graefin10 wrote: TAKE THE MONEY!! No really, if you don't you're only hurting yourself. She won't know one way or the other. Put your feelings in one bag and the money in another.
This. Be glad the old bat is gone, build something good from what's left.
Take the money. It may not buy happiness but it does give options and options in life a wonderful thing.
My sister and I were told back in '96 or so by our father that he was setting things up so that when he passed we would each get around a half mil. FF to last year when he unexpectedly did die.....turns out we got nothing. Most of it is either gone or in houses the step mother still lives in. Oh well, never count on future chickens.
Take it, put it towards your son's college degree. Half a mil should be just enough for a 4-year degree program by the time he grows up.
If nothing else, put it in a fund for your children. That way, you don't have to deal with spending HER money but your kids can have something to go to school, etc... on when they are older. I was had a sort of similar situation with my parents and their parents (not quite as strong) and my parents sent me to school because of it. Got to say it was nice.
Or it could be like my extended family members.....when one died in '93, she left over 4mil to the bank. 
yamaha wrote: Or it could be like my extended family members.....when one died in '93, she left over 4mil to the bank.
Hahaha what the hell...wait it's getting sad thinking about what might've inspired her to do this.
Just the way she had grown up through the Great Depression......being the daughter of a bank owner that didn't go under. That entire side of the family was that way, I am thankful that they didn't take part in the genepool but wish they hadn't squandered their parts of the farmland the family owned.
Take the money and use it for your kid's college funds. Or pay off your debts so you can start putting money in the bank of your own. Of course if she's the mean old bat that you describe she may have cut the whole family out of the will and requested to be buried with the money. In that case, take all the money and toss a check in the casket with her.
Look at it this way,
Did she work and earn the bulk of that money, or was it the money that your grandfather earned and she just hoarded? (or money from his pension or whatever that she got)
If so, its your grandfathers money and so what if she just held it for awhile?
donate some of it in her name to a charity she hates. 
use the rest to better the future of your family.
Apexcarver wrote: Look at it this way, Did she work and earn the bulk of that money, or was it the money that your grandfather earned and she just hoarded? (or money from his pension or whatever that she got) If so, its your grandfathers money and so what if she just held it for awhile?
She didn't do E36 M3 after the kids were out of the house ( so for at least 30 years) but sit on her ass, smoke generic cigs and berate my grandfather.
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